I don't own The Blacklist and I don't make money with fanfiction.

This is totally unrelated to the following story, but when I saw the promo photos for season 2, I thought that the guy who plays Berlin kinda looks like my former Latin teacher from 11th grade...creepy :)

Summary: Red and Lizzie have to deal with a distance between them since Red is extremely mad at her because she was snooping in his house and found some shocking information about her mother while Red was on a trip with Dembe for business.

Rated T for now but may change to M later. Read and review!

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Liz was alone in the house, Red and Dembe were far away on a trip to Europe. Red had business in different countries and would return in two weeks. Actually, Liz was glad not to be around him until Saturday in two weeks, because in the last few weeks, they had been dancing around each other with soft touches at inappropriate times and places, not to mention the comments...Red was the master of subtle seduction with words, but Liz was more sensible about that matter. She had a temper and was impulsive from time to time, however, she was more reasonable than Red when it came to decide between right and wrong, she wasn't sure if he had ever heard of morals at all.

She knew she shouldn't be doing this when she opened the door to his safe-house. If Red refused to tell her about her biological father although he knew his identity, he would have information about her mother as well. She didn't know much about her or her death, so she hoped she would find something here. She tried to understand why Red didn't want to tell her about her real father and she asked herself why she had never thought that he might know something about her mother as well, so she sneaked in every single room, even when the door was locked. She knew how to unlock a door with a needle since she was a child.

When she had searched the first few rooms for documents she was getting frustrated. After all, it wasn't really his house, so why would he hide documents in here? It was annoying to turn every room upside down and then rearrange everything again. She didn't want to think about what could happen if Red ever found out what she was doing...Well, what was it? What would he do? Liz didn't know. He would be angry with her, that was for sure. Would he hurt her? No, she was 98 % certain. Would he yell at her? Yes, maybe. Or, the other scenario, he would stay calm, like always, but his suppressed anger would scare the hell out of her.

The evening when she had stabbed him with a pen had been the proof of his ability to stay calm even when she was loosing control. The way he had glared at her when she threw that lamp on the floor and yelled at him showed her how much he was capable of keeping his inner rage to himself instead of slapping her across the face or doing whatever was necessary to shut her up to make her listen to him. The only thing he had done was boring his dark eyes into hers and telling her to keep calm and tell him what she knew. In fact, it had been scary. She had never shown fear in front of him, because most times she wasn't exactly afraid of him when he was angry, she was intimidated or respectful, but never really scared. She knew he wouldn't do anything to her. Sometimes he was being authoritarian on her, or a little too firm or told her off about something, whereas he thought he would never make mistakes. If she made the slightest mistake, accidentally killed someone he wanted for himself or didn't do as he said when they were meeting a contact or a business partner, he teased her about it for weeks. Mercilessly.

Even if she begged him to leave the topic alone, he let her feel his disappointment, anger or whatever he was feeling but didn't say. On the other hand, he could forgive her, comforting her and tell her she deserved the best in life...he was the embodiment of contradictions. Hot and cold at the same time.

Liz decided to go home for today and come back tomorrow after work. She was just about to go through the hall to the door when she decided to sleep in the house and not at her place. She felt save at his house and moreover, she would have the unique opportunity to sleep in Red's bed. She had to get up early next morning to drive home, brush her teeth and do everything else she did before work, but sleeping in his bed was worth it.

She cuddled into the pillows and sheets, breathing his scent in and pulling the blanket over her ears. Liz knew she would sleep better than ever this night.

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The next morning, Liz didn't want to get up, she had in fact slept better than she had in years. While she got dressed, various images of dirty dreams about Red ghosted through her head. Apparently, sleeping in his bed had a bad influence on her. Later that morning, she entered the elevator at work but all she could think about was finding information about her mother in his house. During a briefing, her thoughts drifted to the dream she had about Red. She knew this dream, but it had never been so vivid before. She wasn't sure if she wanted to have it again tonight or if she wanted to dream something completely boring for once, something that wasn't worth remembering and thinking about all the time. She had had this dream for months, always a little different than the previous time, but the main part was always the same. Sadly, she only dreamed it when she had had a fight with Red the day before. On the other hand, it was good that they didn't fight that much most times. There was a stronger bond developing between them that supported the content of her dream, it was like this dream was a wild animal that got fed by their relationship and came out of its cage after they had fought the day before.

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It had been ten days since Red and Dembe left the house for their trip and Liz still hadn't found anything about her mother. It was driving her mad, she was lying on his bed and thought about places where one could hide something that shouldn't be found. Red wasn't the type to write a diary and he certainly wasn't so careless to leave it in some obvious place like the drawer in the bedside table. By now, she had looked in every room, every closet, every drawer, but of course, there was nothing. While she was lying on the bed, she thought 'why not the bedside table?' The other voice in her head answered 'Of course not! Who would hide something in the bedside table...that would be too obvious.' Nevertheless, Liz opened the drawer but, not to her surprise, it was empty. 'What did you expect? Nobody is so stupid...'

She closed the drawer and lay back down. It was 11 pm and she had to get up tomorrow at 6. She had slept in Red's bed every night and then driven back to her apartment early in the morning, she wouldn't want to leave a toothbrush or something in his bathroom when he was back. She dressed in her pajamas and closed her eyes, hoping that she would dream her favorite dream this night.

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Twelve days and Liz was completely frustrated. It was great to have the house for herself at night and sleep in his bed, she had seen every single room, but not knowing anything about her parents was annoying Red hadn't called in the past two weeks and work had been boring. She knew where he was because of his tracking ship, but she missed him being with her. At first, she thought it was great to be alone for a while, but by now, she wanted to see him again and to hear his voice. Two more days until he returned, so she had to keep looking for documents about her mother, although she thought she would never find anything. For some reason, she looked again inside the drawer of the bedside table. Something about it was bugging her, like there was a secret second drawer, but she didn't find anything. Then she saw it, there was a small hole in the drawer which showed the floor under it. Liz pushed the bedside table aside and saw something odd on the floor, like the part of the floor in her old apartment where the box was hidden. She opened it and discovered a stack of letters, all from Sam.

She sat down on the bed and read them. All of them. All 51 letters.

She lost all sense of time when she had finally read every single one of them. It was shocking, unbelievable, she didn't know how to process it. It wasn't exactly what she had been looking for, or at least what she had expected, but it was still about her mother, well, parts of the letters. In none of the letters was the name of her mother, she was called 'she' or 'her'. It seemed like she had been a criminal, too. After meeting Red and knowing about his strange relation to Sam, it didn't really surprise her that both of them had known her real parents before the fire.

Liz was born in prison, her mother had been there because of murder and theft. She had met Liz's dad during day-release from imprisonment and when Liz was born, she came to live with her real dad under difficult circumstances. Originally, she should have lived in a children's home but her father somehow managed to raise her at his home. Two years later, her mother was found dead in her cell, it looked like suicide, but there were hints in the letters that it was murder. Apparently, the government office for youth welfare had been watching Liz and her father in secret all the time, but when she came to Sam after the fire, the observation had stopped.

Once again, Liz's felt like everything she had ever known was a lie, her life was a lie. She didn't know if she should confront Red about it, because after all, she shouldn't have looked for these letters, let alone read them. She put them back under the floor and pushed the bedside table back.

This night, she couldn't sleep. For the first time in Red's bed, she lay awake all the time and drove home at 4 am.

Nevertheless, Liz was awaiting Red's return, but what happened tomorrow would be another shock.

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TBC

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