Okay, so this is my second Chicago Fire One-shot but i still don't own anything to do with Chicago Fire...boo...anyway enjoy!

This is based on many moments of waking up and thinking many things that hadn't happened for a few minutes and then you remember everything.

Unwanted Reality

Opening his eyes sleepily, Casey didn't want to move any of his sore muscles at all, he was far too comfortable exactly where he was. Cocooned in what felt like soft clouds and feeling a warmth beside him.

Hallie.

At first he hadn't been completely sure where this new relationship, whatever it was, was going; and while he probably shouldn't be thinking to the future. He just couldn't help it.

Not since she had come back, they had talked over coffee and she seemed different, not in a bad way. They had even broached the idea of having a family in the future, he would wait as long as she needed as long as there was a chance.

He hadn't been completely sure of that either until he'd seen the photos at the clinic of her with children. His feelings of happiness, that had been hiding deep down since she left the last time, increased tenfold.

Still warm, and content with life for what felt like a long while, he rolled over into her arms.

Except.

His hands searched the other side of the bed almost frantically; without understanding the need to search so much.

She wasn't there.

Frowning, he looked around not as sleepy as he was before, not when a horrid feeling started to creep into his stomach.

Maybe; she was at work already, some of her shifts did start at odd times of the day and left a note or something.

Or she'd run to the shop and left a note.

But there was no note, and she'd usually give him a personal goodbye before she left to go out.

So then, where was she? Why hadn't she said something when she had left?

And why could he feel a warmth beside him if she wasn't there?

That was when he realised that his hands were still searching for her next to him.

And that it felt like he'd been part of a resuscitation attempt.

Horrific images raced through his mind.

Hallie trapped behind a metal cage.

Severide trying to help him break it down.

Finding her soot covered, burnt and not breathing.

Then came the desperate attempt to save her life.

And the news he never wanted to hear.

Tears found their way down his cheeks without his permission...maybe it had just been a horrible nightmare...maybe he was still dreaming because that couldn't happen, not now when they had a real chance. Maybe...wait!

He picked up his phone, found her number and attempted to ring it.

This number is longer available.

Resisting the urge to throw the lying device across the room, he found there were multiple messages from his team.

Messages asking him how he was, ones of condolence, etc etc.

So it was true.

Damn it!

He couldn't resist the urge any longer and threw the stupid lump of technology towards the wall.

The way it shattered into pieces on the floor felt exactly like what his heart was doing right now. Breaking into unfixable pieces.

He knew that he'd have to get up and go to work at some point but right now, he just couldn't face that.

Knowing that he couldn't ring her up just to have a chat, or have her pop into the fire station on her breaks.

It was unbearable, and he honestly didn't think he could get out of bed now that he'd remembered what had happened.

He wished for the bliss of the thoughts he had woken up with, thinking that she was next to him sleeping.

Wished for anything but this.

Was this how it was going to work now?

Waking up and thinking that she was just next to him, that all he had to do was reach for her and she'd be there.

And then to have it cruelly ripped away when he remembered.

He was used to pushing things aside and pretending to be fine but this, this was too much, even for him.

However, lying there in a bed that was far too big and no longer comfortable anymore, he knew that she would not want this for him.

She wouldn't want him to wallow too much. She'd want him to find the happiness that he wanted, to continue in memory of her.

So, even though he'd slept for hours due to pure exhaustion, he moved his weary muscles and got up and out of bed.

Then he remembered that he had to meet Antonio to see if they'd found anything in the investigation in connection with the fire at the clinic.

The End