Characters: Perry the (Human), Heinz Doofenshmirtz
Pairing: Perry/Doffenshmirtz
Warning: Mpreg, Graphic Birth, Male Lactation, Male Breastfeeding
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot
It was a snowy Saturday and Heinz was more than thrilled to be able to watch the snowflakes decorate the streets and their window sill. From his view at the window he saw children running around the streets, shouting at their friends to hurry up while some had their mouths opened, trying to catch some snowflakes with their tongues.
With a warm smile on his face, he caressed his eight and a half month bump, wondering what it would be like to enjoy snowy days with his family after his precious gem has arrived.
"You better be a winter person, Lil Munchkins" he said to his bump while poking the sides of it. "It's already bad your father loathes it. I can't believe he actually said no to snowman building with Vanessa. And.. and snow angels! They're beautiful. How could he say no to such beautiful things?!"
Heinz Doofenshmirtz may be an evil doctor, but deep inside he is just a giant teddy bear with marshmallow for a heart. When Vanessa was younger she did not find plush toys to be her thing but her evil genius father was smitten by them, filling his laboratory with dozens of them, thinking his daughter would love it and decide to spend more time with him, instead of her mother.
That is why after the years of wasted effort to be the best unevil father, Heinz was getting tired of trying to please his daughter. Now that he was pregnant with his new daughter, he could only wish she would not take after her sister, or her father, whom unintentionally was the exact copy of Vanessa, besides being a man.
The father, Heinz's husband, is none other than Perry the Platypus.
Well you see, as the name suggests, Perry was once a platypus. Thanks to Heinz' 'Human-Inator' he was stuck as a human for good. At one point of their "relationship" as nemeses, Heinz was getting tired of not having anyone respond to his backstories for his new inventions and schemes. Norm talks to him on a daily basis but he is robot and will never have realistic emotions.
With the help of 'Human-Inator', he turned Perry into a man (and oh, what a gorgeous and handsome man he is) while having him trapped. Perry was nonetheless displeased with this because, just how will he explain this to Phineas and Ferb? Heinz decided he would have none of Perry's dissatisfaction and he had Perry locked up in his home.
Long story short, Stockholm syndrome happened and somehow Heinz also fell for Perry. It was somewhat a foreseen event, after having turned down from multiple dates as well as a divorce. Heinz was feeling unloved and very lonely, that he felt something fuzzy within him whenever they would interact, though most of the time Perry would say something harsh or ignore him.
Perry, at the same time, could feel Heinz' yearning for companion and love, and hence, decided that maybe it was not a bad thing after all. Heinz would come to him after numerous failed dates or whenever he had arguments with Vanessa. He would always sit so close to Perry, with his head leaning on his biceps (human Perry is a whooping six feet and nine inches so Heinz would be rather tiny next to him). Sometimes he would talk until he fell asleep on Perry but that was not a matter since Perry would more than willing to carry him bridal style to his own bed, tucking him in after getting onto the bed next to him.
That was when they had yet become a couple. Two years into their romantic relationship, Perry popped the question with a 14 karat diamond ring (which still remains a mystery how he got it, considering his job at the detective's office will never pay him enough for him to get it). Heinz was so overwhelmed that he fainted before he could even answer. Upon waking up on his own bed, he wondered if he has dreamt that up because he would want to marry him? He was a failure as an evil doctor (thanks to Perry, of course) as well as being a husband and father to Charlene and Vanessa, respectively.
But that was another story because here they are today, married and with a beautiful girl on the way.
Upon hearing the front door being unlocked, he looked away from the window and turned from his seat to greet his husband.
"Oh hello, honey. How's Vanessa?"
His daughter was down with flu and Perry had volunteered to look after her while Charlene was at work. The two were very close in every way, that Vanessa has almost made Perry her father (that she never had), but Heinz need not know about that.
"She's recovering perfectly. Another 2 days of rest and she'll be running around again" Perry replied as he knelt down next to Heinz and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
"That's good. It always takes long for her to recover whenever she gets sick."
"What about you? How's our Lil Munchkins?" Perry enquired, giving Heinz's bump a gentle rub.
The doctor moaned as he felt his husband's strong and large hands on his skin. It was getting tighter these days and the baby had been rather active the entire day, making him very uncomfortable that the simplest touch would get him undone.
"She's been moving around so much I can hardly stand. I've been sitting here for hours already" the doctor whined.
"Oh darling Munchkins, don't be so hard on your mommy. Give him a break." Perry said, giving the bump a loving kiss.
It seemed to have calmed the baby enough, that Heinz was able to stand again. He headed to the kitchen to prepare dinner while Perry went to his office to read up on the new case in hand. There was so much going on at the detective's office that he could not spend more time with Heinz. It seemed that criminals had been on a loose during the cold days. There were cases after cases, one coming up before the other could be solved. Perry had chosen to bring his work home lately, ever since Heinz had hit his eighth month. It was better to be safe than sorry. He would never forgive himself if anything were to happen to the mother and daughter when he was away.
By the time Perry had looked up from his papers, he realised that the snow had got heavier. It was starting to get heavy by the time he got into the building. The streets were covered in so much snow that it may take a long time to melt. He was not even sure if he could get to work tomorrow. There were so much he realised he had to take care of in the office, after going through the papers.
He was deep in his thoughts when he heard a scream resonated through the house. Immediately he rushed to where Heinz was (the kitchen) since there was no one else in the house (Norm has gone to live with Phineas and Ferb after the couple got married).
What he saw was something he had dreaded. Hunching in front of the sink, was Heinz, eyes squeezed shut while he clutched his bump tightly. As Perry got closer, his eyes widened when he saw that Heinz was standing in a puddle of liquid.
The baby was coming and Heinz was in labour.
Perry started to panic as he recalled his thoughts while in the office. The streets were full of snow and it was close to impossible to even manoeuvreany vehicle on it. What was he going to do now that the baby was on the way? He reasoned that she should not have been arriving now. The doctor had told them that Heinz was due in 2 weeks. Why has Munchkins been so eager to come now?
"Perry, it hurts. It hurts so much" Heinz whimpered, breaking him from his thoughts.
"Shit" he inwardly cursed. Stay calm and stay focused. Everything's going to be alright. I'm sure the contractions just started so it's going to take hours before the baby comes. We still have time, he comforted himself, heading over to Heinz, holding onto him firmly while bringing him out of the kitchen and into the living room.
Heinz on the other hand, was nowhere near being calm. He began crying as soon as he was seated.
"Darling, baby, don't cry. Look at me. I'm right next to you" Perry attempted to coo at him while wiping away his tears.
"I need you to answer me. How long are the contractions?"
"I don't know" Heinz whimpered painfully. "Half an hour I guess"
"Shit" Perry inwardly cursed again. It came to his realisation that the discomfort Heinz had experienced throughout the day was actually contractions. This only served to make him panic once again.
"Uh… okay. So, around what time was it when you first felt Lil Munchkins being active?" he calmly asked, hoping this would help Heinz calm down as well. The labouring man was crying again, moaning in pain as he felt another contraction hit.
Catching his breath, he answered that it had been 9 a.m., just after Perry had left for work. Doing the calculations, Perry came to a conclusion that his husband had been in labour for ten hours now, as it was currently 7 p.m.
"Darling, listen to me" Perry said after calming himself. "You've been in labour all day and it's been 10 hours now"
Upon hearing this, Heinz teared up again, it was no doubt that he was scared and worried. Had he knew what the discomfort was he would have gone to the hospital. While he was cooking he had seen the condition of the streets and he knew there was no possible way they could get there now.
"Oh Perry, what are we going to do now? We can't get out!"
There was nothing either of them could do to melt the snow and it frustrated Perry to no end. However, he could only come to conclusion that Heinz would have to deliver their daughter here.
"Do you trust me, darling? Tell me, do you trust me?" he asked, getting a whimper and a nod as an answer.
"We can't get out so you have no other choice but to give birth here. I'll be here to deliver our girl and I'll be here for you. Do you hear me?"
Another nod and a sniff. "Please don't let anything happen to Munchkins" Heinz whimpered.
"I won't, and I'll make sure nothing happens to you too. Just listen to me as I tell you what to do, alright?" Perry stated while giving Heinz's hand a squeeze.
"Now, I need to take of your pants to see how dilated you are. Can you lift your hips?" With that Perry slid Heinz's pants and boxers off in a swift motion.
"I'm going to put my fingers in. Bear with me, alright?" Heinz nodded and felt his birthing hole being probed and entered. If he was not in labour, he would actually wanted Perry to go deeper, but the discomfort was more apparent than the pleasure.
He was told that he was 7 centimetres dilated and had to wait more before he could push. Heinz groaned. He wanted this to end quickly. Sure he had been there for Vanessa's birth with Charlene and had seen how painful it was for his ex-wife. Experiencing childbirth on his own right now was another level of pain. The labour hurt so much and he had no idea how his baby's head was going to pass through him. His hips had only widened a little, and according to the doctor, was not sufficient.
He sat up and told Perry that he wanted to walk around, to quicken the process and have the baby's head move to his birth canal. In the process of walking, his contraction came on and off, making him whimper and groan into Perry's supporting chest. As the contraction intervals became closer to each other, he could feel the baby's head slowly sliding into his birth canal, putting all the pressure to his pelvis.
"I think you should lie down a bit. I need to check on your dilation again" he heard Perry say after his husband told him that the contractions were already close to 10 minutes apart.
"Alright, darling. 9 centimetres now and already 12 hours of labour. We should be having Munchkins very soon" Perry told his labouring husband calmly. Ever since Heinz's scream 2 hours ago, he had calmed considerably. Maybe it was the realisation that their daughter was finally coming and he had to behave like a responsible father. Or maybe it was because having both he and Heinz panic would not help the fact that he was to deliver their daughter, instead of their planned delivery in the maternity ward with the help of experienced midwives and epidural. Yes, epidural most importantly.
"I need to push so badly" Heinz complained, clutching onto the side of the couch he was using for support.
"No! You'll tear. Darling, just a little longer. Please?" plead Perry. He had absolutely no idea how much the labour hurts, but he definitely could see how much pain and agony Heinz was going through.
"You're doing very well, honey. You're doing something I can never do. You're so strong, baby" he said, kissing Heinz on the lips.
*An hour later*
"Baby, how do you want to give birth? Should I fill the tub? Or do you want to do it here?" Perry asked as he placed numerous towels all over the room, along with a pair surgical scissors and basin of hot water.
"Here, please. I don't want to move"
Heinz's contractions were now on top of each other and he had been fighting the urge to push for too long. Seeing his husband crumble due to another strong contraction, Perry laid him down to do another check on his dilation.
"Alright, baby. It's time." Perry announced with his head between Heinz's legs, slowly lifting his hips to place a towel underneath.
"Remember what we've learn. Push when you feel a contraction. Push for 10 seconds, and then breathe. Can you do it for me?" he asked after shifting Heinz to a comfortable position.
With a nod, accompanied by a contraction, Heinz bore down as hard as he could.
"4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 10. Alright, now breathe" Perry instructed. "You're doing so well"
"Will you stop saying that?! I just started pushing it's not like she's already out!" Heinz yelled in frustration.
"I'm sorry, I'll stop. Are the contractions back, honey?" he asked while rubbing Heinz's inner thigh. Heinz screamed as another forceful contraction hit him, bearing down as he gave another hard push.
Contractions after contractions and pushes after pushes, the baby's head had yet to crown. Both parents were beginning to get restless.
"Perry, why isn't she coming out? Something must be wrong!" Heinz whimpered for the umpteenth time of the night. He had been pushing for almost an hour now and it seemed that the baby was just too stubborn to move. Heck, she seemed to have taken after her father, who had enjoyed tormenting his husband when they were still nemeses.
"Don't give up, baby. Munchkins need you to go on. I'll try and pull her out a bit. Please bear with me"
Perry placed his fingers into his husband's birthing hole, attempting assist the baby's movement so she could crown. Feeling the baby moving forward, he told Heinz to continue pushing.
"Keep pushing, it'll be over soon" Perry plead, overwhelmed with anxiety. He was just as worried as his husband but he had to be calm and strong for both mother and daughter.
"Now give me a hard push. Remember, 10 seconds." he said just as soon as another contraction hit Heinz.
"AHHHHHH!" Heinz screamed as he pushed hard, already beginning to feel the ring of fire in his entrance.
"You're doing great! She's crowning now! 10 seconds, then breathe!" Perry yelled in joy as the baby's head became visible.
"Pant, darling. Pant. Don't push anymore for now or you'll tear" Perry instructed.
The joy however, lasted less than a minute as the baby's head retracted back into the birth canal, causing Heinz to scream again. "Why is she going back in?!" Heinz yelled in frustration. He had not been pushing this long to have his baby go back to square one. Not after he's been so exhausted he could no longer go on.
"I don't know!" Perry replied, equally frustrated. He had had enough of waiting for the baby to emerge. Just why wouldn't she cooperate?
Immediately, he spread Heinz's leg wider, trying to make his birthing hole wider, as well as placing his hand in between. "Baby, push against my hand".
Upon feeling another strong contraction, Heinz gave a strong and hard push. He had to get his baby out this time. He was already losing so much energy that he did not know if he could make it to see his daughter.
Screaming as he pushed, he felt his birthing hole burn once again, hoping it would be the last time he would feel it tonight.
"She's crowning! Stop pushing!"
"I can't! I can't have her slide back in again!" Heinz yelled as he kept pushing.
"I said stop! You'll tear! Please!" Perry begged.
Finally stopping to catch his breath, he was told to keep panting to slowly ease the head out.
"Do you want to feel her?"
Heinz nodded, having Perry guide his hands downwards, where Munchkin's head stayed crowning. He teared up when he felt a head full of soft and wet hair.
"That's right, honey. That's Munchkins. A couple of pushes more and she'll be here" Heinz nodded again as he continued feeling his daughter's head.
"Alright, as soon as the contractions are back you can start pushing again"
With another strong contraction, Heinz screamed as he pushed as hard as he could to completely bring the head out. Another 2 more hard pushes had the baby's head finally out.
"Stop pushing, baby. I need to check the cord"
After checking that the umbilical cord was not curled around the baby's neck, Perry instructed his husband to resume pushing. Heinz gave a hard and long push, screaming as he felt one of the baby's shoulder slid free from him.
"You're almost there baby. One more push, just one more and you'll have Munchkins in your arms" encouraged Perry. Heinz smiled at the thought of being able to finally hold Munchkins. From the moment he discovered he was pregnant (he would never want to admit that he peed on a stick), he had been very anxious to meet the baby. He was not able to feel much of Vanessa while she was unborn due to Charlene carrying her instead of him. Throughout his pregnancy, he had felt each and every movement his Lil Munchkins made, be it kicking up a storm inside, kicking his lungs or using his bladder as a football. Those had never failed to make him tear up. The feeling of a live being in him had made him a rather affectionate and emotional man throughout the month. He had almost wanted the baby to be born just after she first kicked.
"Darling, are you ready? One last push, alright?" Perry urged. He too was dying to meet the little one. All his life he had never had a family of his own (Flynn-Fletcher family aside) and he had been orphaned as a baby. Never had he thought he would one day be a parent to a baby platypus, and never at all, to a human baby.
Heinz nodded and bore down as hard as he could. A long scream resonated throughout the house as the baby's other shoulder slipped free from her mother's birthing hole.
"Darling, you can stop pushing now. She's all out" Perry said as he helped ease the baby's lower region out of Heinz's body.
A loud wail was heard just as soon as Perry lifted his daughter for Heinz to see. He placed the baby onto Heinz's awaiting chest, with the umbilical cord still connecting the mother and daughter. He cried seeing the fruit of his labour. She was perfect even though her wails were rather deafening, but that only shows how healthy and strong her lungs are. He counted her fingers and toes, and smiled when he had all 10 of each. Munchkin's hair was the exact same shade as his and she had both parents' large eyes. Seeing the mother and daughter bond, Perry too, felt a tear trickling down his face.
After cutting the cord and Heinz delivering the afterbirth, he approached his exhausted husband, kissing him on his forehead "You did so great. I'm so proud of you" he murmured against the skin.
As if sensing that she was ignored, Munchkins wailed even louder, demanding her parents' attention.
"She must be hungry. Go on, feed her" Perry urged.
He lifted the baby while Heinz took off his shirt. Placing her towards one of his nipples, she immediately latched herself onto it and started sucking. It was a weird sensation and Heinz was reminded of the time when Vanessa was a toddler. She was hungry and had decided that her father's nipples were the same as her mother's and that she would get fed.
"It's ticklish" he said while smiling at the feeding baby.
"You have to get used to it, darling. She'll be feeding from you this way for at least a year" Perry chuckled.
When she was done feeding, Perry took her away to clean and dress her up for bed, returning promptly to clean up Heinz as well.
"Thank you so much for Munchkins. She's been early and I had no idea what to do. You were wonderful giving birth to her" he said while pulling Heinz's body close to himself.
"Thank you so much for the early Christmas present, my love".