Adam's POV
I hadn't done this in a while. The blade cut my skin making a perfect red line as the blood started to flow out of the cuts. I lay down on my bed, just wanting the world to disappear. I'm so confused now. The things Becky said and the way she acted made others believe it was okay to hurt others not only in the LGBT community but also others who did things that weren't viewed as holy or right by the bible. Because of that, I know he shouldn't spend so much time thinking about her, and thinking about ways to show her that there was nothing wrong with him, other than being in the wrong body. But I just can't help it, we were in a relationship and she was so close to accepting me. In fact for a little while she did. But then she went to be brain washed once again. "Yo Adam, there's someone here to see you." My older brother Drew yelled up to him. Most likely Eli, "He can come up."
Just as the door opened up a long blonde haired girl walked in, that's definitely not Eli. I thought. Drew walked in behind her. "I'll leave you guys alone but if you need me I'll be right next door." Drew hesitated as he left, after I gave him a nod. I had told him all about Becky, and he heard the rumors at school of course, he knew that this was the girl who had hurt me, his little brother so badly, Drew hated that he spent so much time trying to protect me. The last thing Drew ever wanted was to see me get hurt, but he knew there were some things that I needed to do without Drew being there to protect me, and this was one of them. "Hello Adam." Becky said walking closer to the bed.
"Miss Baker" I greeted her.
"Look Adam, I'm sorry if what I say hurts you, believe me that's not what I want. I just want to show you the right path, and help you get better."
"What is getting better to you is painful and wrong to me."
Without thinking I stood up and went into his draw, I pulled out an old photo that I kept hidden behind my many pairs of boxers and socks. I reached out to Becky and handed her the photo. She took it after a moment of staring at it. "That was Gracie. The girl I used to be, the boy I am now was trapped inside of her. It hurt me so badly that I used to burn and cut myself. If I go back to being her I know I'll start doing that again to try to get rid of the pain."
Becky looked wide eyed at me as she looked back at the picture. "You looked so pretty, and yet so miserable at the same time. How old were you?"
"I was ten years old in that photo. My mom took it because she thought I looked 'darling' in that dress." In the photo I was wearing a long pink dress with a short blue jacket on my shoulders; the dress had white lace around the chest. Standing next to me was Drew, dressed in a tux making a silly face at the camera. "I envied Drew so much, he got to dress like what he was, like I wanted."
I sat back down on my bed and let out a sigh. "May I sit?" Becky asked me, and I nodded a yes to her.
"Adam, I'm sorry about that, you're a wonderful person, you shouldn't do things like that your body. Think of everyone who cares about you. They would all be so hurt if they found out." She placed a hand on my shoulder. That's when I noticed that my shirt sleeve had rode up, not much but just enough to show the line of red dripping down my arm.
For a bit Becky didn't talk, at first I thought she was still looking at the picture, but then I realized her gaze was as my arm. She pulled my sleeve up higher to see not just one cut but five new bleeding ones. Which made my arm a bloody mess, "Adam, why did you do this, was it because of me?"