Sherlock hated going to the shop. In fact he refused to go to the shop. He had a whole litany of reasons but John suspected that it was a combination of not wanting to deal with the people and the fact that it was 'boring.' John would have made him go anyway but for the fact that Sherlock was as likely to get everything on the list and pay for it without getting thrown out, as the Landon criminal populace was to suddenly decide to stop committing crimes. John had actually shuddered when he imagined all the things that Sherlock could get up to on a normal grocery shopping trip. So John resigned himself to doing the shopping for the both of them. This, while tiresome, was alright.
What was not alright was the fact that Sherlock could not be relied upon to do anything as domestic as paying the bills, this included paying John for his share of the shopping. Oh, and the cab fares, let's not forget those. London taxies were ridiculously expensive and John had to pay for them more often than not because Sherlock couldn't wait to get to where ever they were going.
John had finally gotten fed up one day and stated that he wasn't going to do anymore shopping until Sherlock paid up. This wouldn't have fazed Sherlock one bit normally, John needed to eat too so eventually he would go and shop any way, but on that particular day Sherlock needed several things for some experiment he was doing and if john didn't go then he would have to stop in the middle of them. Which eventually lead to Sherlock telling John that from then on he could put the whole of the expense of whatever mundane things were needed for everyday living, food, cleaning supplies, whatever, on Sherlock's own account without any splitting, provided John picked up whatever other odd things Sherlock needed. John didn't like the idea of Sherlock paying for his half as well but in the end he decided that it was the lesser of two evils and agreed, stipulating that he would only pick up things that were within reason. This spawned many future arguments on what was 'within reason' but for the most part it worked out well enough. John soon stopped feeling odd about living off of Sherlock, the things that often ended up on the list, despite his stipulation, were quite enough to make him think that Sherlock was getting the better end of the deal. (Besides he could consider it hazard pay for all the kidnappings and such he'd been put through.)
Things like raw octopus, a snake skin purse (do make sure it is genuine John,) professional chef's knives, fire cracker's (Sherlock so help me if you set them off in the flat!), and floral print stationary (scented!), were all on the list at some point and were my no means the oddest things to appear either. Sometimes John found it easier not to ask but occasionally his curiosity got the better of him. The most common explanation of course was 'an experiment' but sometimes Sherlock would be a little more forth coming. John couldn't decide if those times were something to look forward to or fear.
Note: This will be a collection of loosely connected one shots based on the premise that John does the shopping and Sherlock has very odd requests. A warning, I'm an American and as such I don't know much about British groceries and what not. If anyone sees anything glaringly off I'd appreciate knowing about it. If you have any suggestions on what should be on a typical shopping list for them that would be great to. Also this is my first multi chapter fic and only the second story I've posted on here. If anyone could give me tips on formatting or has an opinion on whether or not this should be marked 'complete' because each chapter can pretty much stand on its own or 'in progress' because I will be adding to it, I'd appreciate that too.