Hana stares out the passenger window, eyes distant. Her mind has been elsewhere the past few days, and Seo-jin wishes he knew why. He has been busy lately, busier than ever, so he has a hard time putting his finger on when this started.
"You never told me where we're going, Seo-jin." Hana says, pulling him from his thoughts.
"That would ruin the surprise." Seo-jin replies. He's driving in the direction of Wonderland, and it's a road that Hana knows well.
"True." she admits. "But I'm not sure that I'm in the mood for surprises tonight."
"Are you not feeling well?" Seo-jin asks immediately, taking the opportunity at the stoplight to take a good look at Hana's face. She does look paler than usual. His brow furrows. "If you're sick, you should have told me."
"It's not that. I'm fine. I'm just feeling a little tired tonight." Hana says reassuringly, giving Seo-jin a small smile. "If you can't tell me where we're going, could you give me a hint about what we're doing? Is it just you and me tonight?"
"I suppose hints are okay." Seo-jin answers, deciding to play along. "The circus troupe could possibly be there. And Secretary Kwon might be there, too."
"So just you, me, the circus troupe and Secretary Kwon?"
Seo-jin nods and Hana visibly relaxes. He parks the car, gets out and then moves around to the passenger side to open Hana's door. With the news that the evening will only contain close friends, Hana's demeanor is much more cheerful, and when she smiles, it reaches her eyes.
They walk hand in hand to the Wonderland performance theatre. The circus troupe is already there, seated and waiting for them to arrive. Secretary Kwon walks up and greets Seo-jin and Hana in his usual nervous way and Seo-jin leads Hana to the front row to sit.
A projection screen has been setup in the center of the stage along with a podium. Once Hana is seated with popcorn in hand, Seo-jin makes his way to the stage to speak.
"Greetings, Wonderland Circus family. Thank you for joining us this evening. I appreciate your discretion and assistance with setting this up. I'm sure you're wondering why you're all here-"
"Yes we are, Mr. Awesome!" Jin-joo yells from her seat in the audience. "The suspense is practically killing me."
Seo-jin gives her a bored look. "This would go faster if you didn't interrupt."
"Yeah. Shut up, Jin-joo." agrees Woo-jung, throwing a handful of popcorn in the older woman's direction.
Seo-jin continues talking before the impending catfight can start. "Tonight we are here to preview a future Wonderland exhibit, one that focuses on some of the lesser known history of the park. Wonderland Circus has been a part of Wonderland from the start, and it's high time the public knows just how instrumental the troupe and their leaders were in making the park what it is today."
That got everyone's attention, and all eyes are staring at him expectantly.
"So let's take a journey together, back to the start of it all. This is our history, and it shapes the park to this day." Seo-jin finishes, completing his small introductory speech.
Seo-jin takes his seat beside Hana as the lights dim and the movie begins to play. Her head is on his shoulder already, and her hand finds his in the dark.
The footage plays, documenting the long history between the themepark and the circus. Three generations of Hana's family and his.
"In truth, it was the death-defying acts of the initial band of circus performers that made Wonderland a place that people would remember and visit again and again. The rides, games and exhibits came later, funded by the profits generated by the circus troupe. The themepark eventually gained an identity of its own apart from the circus, but without them, there would be no Wonderland today." the narrator says.
Seo-jin can't help but think that many of the early circus acts were just plain foolish. Aerial ballet on a rope with no net. Freefalling from the face of a clocktower with no parachute. Jumping to and from the moving trains that used to run through Wonderland. The tricks were dangerous and borderline suicidal, and that drew in the crowds.
And then there were the strange acts that must have been some sort of hoax. Ginormo the Ginormous: A midget who believed he was a giant and supposedly broke boards, lifted cars and bent metal beams. Bartholomew the Barber: A blind knife thrower who was so accurate, his knives were said to shave the stubble of the men who volunteered as targets. Eli the Electric: A man who supposedly electrocuted himself on stage on a regular basis. These charades were so expertly pulled off that people actually believed what they were seeing.
Now the footage is more recent, and Hana's father appears on screen. He's training tightrope walkers, and then sword swallowers and fire breathers. In the next scene, he's working with a large gorilla named Bo Bo, teaching him how to shake hands and greet visitors. Under Leader Jang's direction, members of the circus troupe walk across hot coals, lay down on beds of nails and wrestle with lions and bears. The skill level of the director and circus performers was so high, it all looked like magic.
Finally, the footage has caught up with the present, showing Hana and the troupe performing in front of a crowd of amazed school children. It was Hana's first time fire dancing in front of an audience, and her performance was excellent. Only later did Seo-jin discover that Hana had seriously burned her lower back while twirling the ropes with flames on the ends. Her smile never faltered. Then the footage cut to Hana's modern cirque routines and Woo-jung's aerial cheerleading stunts.
The movie is finished and the lights come back up. Seo-jin goes back to the podium. "At the end of this film, we will add something about what the circus is currently working on. This exhibit will be kept perpetually up to date, celebrating the current accomplishments of the troupe."
Everyone applauds, and when Seo-jin's eyes catch Hana's, he sees that they're full of unshed tears. Seo-jin's relationship with his own father gives him little to go on in terms of how Hana must feel, having lost a father she truly loved. She stands and joins him at the podium.
"May I?" she asks, motioning to the podium. Seo-jin is a planner, but Hana is an improviser extraordinaire, able to wing performances and speeches on the fly.
"Of course, Hana." he replies. She gives his arm a squeeze before standing before the circus troupe, something clearly on her mind. Seo-jin makes his way back to his seat in the audience.
"They used to do some crazy stuff, didn't they?" Hana says.
The circus troupe laughs.
"We could learn a thing or two from their example, Leader Jang." says Eun-chang. "If that guy could electrocute himself, surely I can jump a few cars with my motorcycle. It's loads safer than the stuff your father had his performers do."
"Be quiet, you brat." says Jin-joo harshly.
Seo-jin cringes inwardly. He wasn't aware of any discord within the circus troupe, and the last thing he wants is to be the cause of conflict between Hana and her performers. The point of the exhibit was to give credit to the circus troupe and secure their place in history. In no way does he want the modern circus acts to go back to the dark ages.
"If you reach the point where I think you're ready to do something like that, Eun-chang, I'll allow it. But that may never happen. I'll always put your safety ahead of putting on a good show." Hana replies. "Today, we have that luxury. In the past, they didn't. If you didn't wow the crowd, you didn't eat. It was a different world back then."
Eun-chang pouts and folds his arms, clearly unhappy with Hana's decision.
"I agree with her, Eun-chang." admits Woo-jung in a low voice. "After all I went through with Robin, the last thing I want is to end up with a reckless daredevil. If you're going to be stupid, tell me so I can break up with you now."
Eun-chang gapes at Woo-jung. "Hey now, Woo-jung..."
"I have a story for you." Hana interrupts. "It actually happened on this very day, five years ago. I was training with a circus troupe in Quebec. The work was hard, and father had been calling me once or twice a week, telling me that I was foolish to train under them. But I was determined to go out and learn something new. I wanted to become a strong leader so father could retire and not work so hard. He swore that he could teach me all I needed to know at home, but I knew better. I knew we needed to innovate in order to keep our place at Wonderland."
Hana had never talked about her time away from Korea other than the passing mention of some time spent in Las Vegas. Seo-jin glances out at the circus troupe and decides that they probably haven't heard much about it themselves, judging by how intently they're listening.
"On that day, our trainers had us working on trampolines. I always loved trampolines since they held good memories for me. Memories of home and family. However, there was one student who really disliked the trampoline, and he tried to convince our trainers to have him practice somewhere else. They wouldn't listen. Instead, they told him to watch me and copy what I did. So we practiced together, and by the time we got done, he seemed to feel a little better about it. As I was packing up to leave, I heard a commotion in the training room and ran back in. My fellow student had tried to do a simple flip and landed on his head. He was rushed to the hospital, but they couldn't help him. He died later that evening."
Seo-jin suddenly understands Hana's mood the past few days. The timing of the new exhibit's unveiling is either incredibly lucky or incredibly unlucky. Only time will tell which is the case.
"So, I decided right then and there that I would do as my father asked and come home. My cellphone had run out of battery during my time at the hospital, and when it powered on, I had missed two calls. One was from my father, and the other was from a doctor. My father had died that night."
Seo-jin remembers Hana's words earlier in the evening. "But I'm not sure that I'm in the mood for surprises tonight."
The timing is unlucky, Seo-jin decides. He glances at the older members of the circus troupe. He wishes now that he had collaborated with them instead of taking on this project himself. They could have warned him.
"With him gone, I had no choice but to stay and study with the circus troupes abroad, since he could no longer teach me." Hana continues. "I moved from branch to branch, finally settling in with the group in Las Vegas. It was safer there, though we were still pushed too hard. I nearly died twice. I know that I sometimes seem too cautious, and compared to others, I am. However, I'm all about nurturing your inherent potential rather than allowing you to do something that you aren't able to pull off."
Eun-chang nods. "I'll try to be more patient, Leader Jang."
"Thank you, Eun-chang. Let's work together to make your motorcycle act the very best it can be." replies Hana. "Seeing the clips of father tonight makes me remember just how charismatic he was. His gift was the ability to convince his performers that they could achieve whatever was required for the act. Once convinced, the performers were able to go forth and do amazing feats. There was never one fatality with my father in charge. My grandfather was a cold, hard man from what I can remember of him, but he too could convince performers that they were superhuman, if only while out on the stage. I am not my father, and I'm certainly not my grandfather, but I think that together, our troupe has the potential to live up to the standards set forth by our predecessors. But it will be done in the right time, and in the right way."
"Thank you, CEO Goo, for creating this exhibit. It's a beautiful way to commemorate and preserve the history of the circus troupe. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that we will work hard to prove that we deserve it." Hana concludes with a bow. The circus troupe echos her sentiment.
"Let's celebrate with drinks!" offers Jin-joo. "I'll supply the drinks."
Seo-jin thinks it's an excuse to provide a happy conclusion to an unfortunate evening, and he makes a mental note to replenish Jin-joo's liquor stash at a later date. In a flash, everyone has a drink in hand, including Hana. Someone turns on some music, and the disco ball is turning. Hana's circus troupe is her family, and right now, they're all around her, providing the support she needs.
Seo-jin hangs in the back, contemplating his can of beer rather than drinking it. Secretary Kwon appears by his side.
"I don't suppose you had any idea, Young-chan?" Seo-jin asks.
"No sir! I had no idea." replies Kwon. "I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't remember when Leader Jang passed away."
"Why would you remember something like that?" Seo-jin says. "I just wish I had known."
"Maybe it's all for the best, sir. Hana looks pretty happy right now, surrounded by friends and family."
"That's the problem with Hana, Young-chan. Looks can be deceiving. It's hard to know what she's really thinking." he replies.
Seo-jin hardly touches his drink, and Hana only sips on hers. By the end of the evening, Hana, Seo-jin and Secretary Kwon are all standing side by side, stone sober, watching the drunken antics of the circus folk.
"Amazing. No one should be that flexible." states Secretary Kwon, craning his neck while observing a drunken backbend.
Seo-jin snickers and Hana giggles. "We could work on your flexibility, Young-chan. I'm sure you could develop a wonderful backbend if you worked hard enough." says Hana teasingly.
"No thanks." replies Kwon quickly. "Men aren't meant to twist themselves into positions like that."
"Ryu does. He does yoga everyday." remarks Seo-jin. "Are you saying that he's less of a man because of it?"
"Frankly, yes. But don't tell him I said it!" replies Kwon. "He's still a little unhinged. If yoga helps him get through the day without incident, more power to him."
Ryu is still on the path to recovery, but every once in a while, Seo-jin still catches his cousin staring at him with a crazed glint in his eyes. Yoga, meditation, hypnosis… Seo-jin will fund it all if it means Ryu never looks at him like that again.
Jin-joo breaks out the vodka and someone is trying to swing from the disco ball when the trio excuses themselves and makes their way to the parking lot. Secretary Kwon bids the couple goodbye, and then it's just Seo-jin and Hana. Seo-jin opens the passenger door and waits for Hana to get in.
Instead of climbing in the car, Hana wraps her arms around Seo-jin's torso. "Thank you so much for tonight, Seo-jin." she says, voice low. "I don't know how you knew, but thank you."
Seo-jin wraps his arms around her tightly, returning her embrace. "Honestly, I didn't know, Hana. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what."
"My yearly tradition is to lock myself up for the night and drink until I pass out." Hana admits. "It felt so good to remember my father in a positive way tonight. I didn't miss being alone, either. Having good company made the guilt sting a little less."
Seo-jin pulls back to look at Hana's face. He presses his palm to her cheek. "Know that I am here for you, Hana. Always. I doubt your father would want you to feel guilty."
She nods. "I know, but I should have been there to say goodbye. To have missed the opportunity because I was being stubborn and insisting on doing things my own way… it was a very poor way for our relationship to end. But, I'm done feeling guilty, because it's not going to change anything. Instead, I'm going to focus on making the circus the best that it can be, just like my father did."
"I think your father would approve of that." Seo-jin agrees. "I bet he's already quite proud of you as it is."
Hana smiles, looking not quite convinced but appreciative of the effort. Seo-jin kisses her soundly and then drives them home. On the way, Hana tells Seo-jin more about her father, and she tells him a few stories about her wild days in Las Vegas. And when they lay side by side in bed that night, Seo-jin decides that he wants to get to know his wife better. He loves her more than anything, but there is a lot about her that he still doesn't know.
To that end, Seo-jin calls Secretary Kwon and tells him to clear his schedule for the day. With everything at the office settled, he feels free to enjoy his morning with Hana, making her breakfast. Hana always loves it when he cooks for her, and this morning is no different.
Initially, she tries to help by chopping ingredients, but Seo-jin's knife skills are much better than hers. Instead, he has her sit on the counter and chat with him while he chops everything. The radio is on in the background, but neither of them are paying much attention to it.
"Would you ever go back to America?" Seo-jin asks as he throws onion into a hot skillet.
"I wouldn't mind going back for a visit." Hana replies, sneaking bits of vegetable when she thinks Seo-jin isn't looking.
"Only rabbits eat their vegetables raw, Hana." Seo-jin scolds, moving the cutting board out of her reach. She pouts.
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
"There is a business trip coming up." Seo-jin tells her. "Would you like to come? We could stay one, two, three, maybe even four extra days. The meeting is in San Francisco, but we could spend the weekend in Las Vegas, if you want."
In other words
Hold my hand
In other words
Darling, kiss me
Hana doesn't reply, and Seo-jin barely has time to register the fact that she's falling forward. He catches her just in time.
He shakes her shoulder. "Hana? Hana, can you hear me?"
Fill my heart with song
And let me sing forever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
Hana is unresponsive. Seo-jin's fingers press against her throat, feeling for a pulse. To his relief, he finds it. Her pulse is beating frantically under his trembling fingertips.
In other words
Please be true
In other words
I love you
Six hours later, Seo-jin and Dr. Kang stand at the foot of the hospital bed that Hana is laying in. Dr. Kang is convinced that the woman is in an advanced hypnotic state. The EKG shows brain activity that doesn't correlate with the patterns of someone in a coma, and every once in a while, Hana's brow furrows as if she's in a bad dream.
"I will keep trying to reach her, but so far, Hana is unreceptive to me." Dr. Kang says. "I know that during my time with Soo-hyun, he claimed that he placed something in Hana's mind. I watched and waited, and when nothing seemed out of the ordinary, I figured that her mind had disregarded the suggestions he planted in her subconscious."
"You knew, and you didn't bother telling anyone." Seo-jin repeats, giving Dr. Kang a look that could curdle milk.
"I was afraid that trying to undo what Soo-hyun had done would do more harm than good." Dr. Kang explains, apologetic. "Hana was extremely receptive to Soo-hyun when he was working with her as Tae Joo. I'll continue to try to reach her, but in the meantime, I suggest that you start working on getting Soo-hyun released into our custody, one way or another. He may be the only one who can fix this."
"Even a soul submerged in sleep is hard at work and helps make something of the world."