Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Spoilers: None.

Classification: Humor, Drama.

Rating: PG for innuendo.

Quick note: I'm American, I haven't seen most of the new episodes yet. But I can daydream a bit while I wait for Threads, can't I? (Yes, I'm a bad spoiler-reading person. Shut up.)

"So, you and Sam are…"

Daniel's head was at that particular angle, about eighty degrees and inclined, that said what he wanted to say for him. "Okay, okay, I can deal with this," it said, though the raised eyebrows expressed skepticism.

"Yeah, that sounds about right." He gave half a nod, moving his head up, but not down, and peering down his nose in an unmistakable display of authority. Even when he was dealing with his superiors, he adopted this tactic, and it often worked, too – regardless of military or political labels, Jack had always taken on himself the mannerisms of the alpha male.

"General O'Neill." Teal'c sounded more severe than normal, and when Jack turned to face him, he found himself still looking up at someone – and dropped the alpha act. "Do you think that it is wise, to court a fellow soldier?"

"Well… sure. Yeah, it'll be fine." He turned away from him again.

"Fine? Jack, you're violating military protocol; section -"

"Dammit, Daniel, this is important to me! Do you have any idea how long I've…" he trailed off. Both of his men and former teammates were staring at him. "I mean…"

"For approximately eight earth years, O'Neill."

"What?"

"Like he said… wait, what?"

"I have been aware of a mutual attraction between yourself and Colonel Carter since the time that I joined SG-1. I believed that you refrained from acting upon your feelings for the good of the Stargate program. I see now that I was mistaken."

"No, T, you were not 'mistaken.' Y'see,"

"Wait, what you're saying is that… is that…"

"Get over it Daniel. I… like… Carter. She likes me. And when a man and a woman love each other very much,"

"Oh God, please Jack, I do not need to hear this." Daniel made as if to cover his ears, though in the end his hands went up to massage his temples instead.

"General O'Neill. I believe that Doctor Jackson is already acquainted with human reproduction, having himself"

"Please Teal'c, not you too…"

"This does not change the fact that by allowing your attachment to Colonel Carter to become a physical one you have potentially jeopardized not only the safety of both of you, but also the entire Stargate program."

"Come on, Teal'c, lighten up! Be happy for us, or something. It's not like I'm allowed to go offworld anymore anyway."

"Not like that's stopped you."

Jack made as if to protest, then shrugged and conceded the point. "But it's not like anything's, you know, changed… I mean, I have been… 'attracted' to… Sam… for 'eight earth years', so most of what we've done has been, you know… like that."

"Well, the Greeks did believe that fighting alongside their lovers made them into better soldiers… of course, they were all men, so the element of possible… complications… getting in the way was lost, but other than that,"

"Let me know how that works out for you," Jack interrupted. Daniel looked puzzled for a moment, then glanced at Teal'c, opened his eyes wide in comprehension and turned away with a queasy look on his face. The Jaffa raised his eyebrows. Jack just smiled.

"It is you who will need to 'work something out', O'Neill. The danger of harm coming to Colonel Carter as a direct result of your actions"

"Teal'c, she's had boyfriends, for God's sake I don't think she's a"

"That is not the sort of harm of which I intended to speak." Teal'c looked rather offended that Jack should think it was.

"…I was joking, Teal'c. A joke. Okay?"

"Indeed."

"Jack, do you know how much of a target it would make Sam if the Goa'uld found out that you two had a relationship? She already takes the brunt of it for being the only woman, and for being, well, Sam, that if she were also General head-of-the-Stargate-program-and-overall-troublemaker-O'Neill's…girlfriend, I guess, too, we'd never have any peace! Kidnap Sam here, kidnap Sam there, it would get very high on every System Lord's agenda."

"So… I'd make her more important."

"What you'd make her is more dead."

Feeling himself being backed into a corner, Jack shrugged and moved back in his chair, to press its back against his. "You never found being dead much of a problem. Anyway, it's not like we're going to put it up on billboards. Hey, Ba'al! We're going out! Hit Carter with as many fancy ray guns as you can!"

"The Goa'uld have methods of acquiring information. I do not believe that you could keep such a relationship secret for very long, as even I, to whom human customs are alien, could detect your attraction."

"Well, I never saw anything…"

"Daniel, you're so focused on your hieroglyphs that you wouldn't see it if I transported a Goa'uld right in front of you!"

"That's not true!"

"You're right – they generally have their names written on their armor."

"But I -"

"General O'Neill, I know it is a common defense mechanism among humans to change the subject when faced with a dilemma, but I assure you that such a course of action will not solve the problems faced by your relationship with Colonel Carter."

Jack, defeated, slumped down in his general's chair, eyes focused on the pen he was fidgeting with on the table. There was a moment of silence.

"Yeah," he said finally, heavily, "I guess you're right." He pushed his chair away from the table in order to stand up, rose an inch or two, and then dropped back down into his seat. "But how'm I supposed to tell her that? The whole thing with Pete, and – Jesus, Teal'c, you at least must have some idea of what this means to me… right?"

"I know that it is very painful to be separated from one's mate, yes." In the next chair, Daniel's eyes had gone blank and glassy. "But sometimes it is for the best."

Daniel was still out of it, but Jack thought he knew what he would say. "Very well," he sighed, and pushed himself out of his chair by its arms, for once feeling every minute as old as he actually was. Slowly, as though carrying a great weight, he shuffled to the door of the meeting room. When he reached it, he turned around, his eyes filled to near their limit with unshed tears.

"But how the hell am I supposed to tell her that?"

Teal'c inclined his head. "Colonel Carter is a reasonable individual. She will understand."