Title: The Dawn is Breaking: A Collide Mix
Summary: Drabbles based on songs suggested by reviewers for Collide.
Rating: K+ (nothing graphic, but a few swear words)
A/N: Greetings! It's been a while, yes? So here's the deal: these are based on songs suggested for Collide, but ones that I never got to use. The handle beside the song is who it was suggested by. Yes, there's still one chapter left, I promise! I haven't made much progress on the final chapter, because I've decided I want to finish watching the season before I decide on a storyline. (Which I should do . . . in about a month? I've been promised the eps in the mail, haha.) Also, some of these were written a while ago, so they've got a very season 2 vibe, lol. That's what's up with me. Hope everyone is doing well!
P.S. Spot the Tangled reference! :P
Miss you all. :)
"Halo" – Beyonce – Farringtongirl
Warm rays of sunlight creep into the bedroom through the window to coax Sarah to consciousness. She stirs sleepily and reaches a hand out, opening one bleary eye when she doesn't feel any body next to her. She lifts her head in confusion, blonde hair hanging in her face.
And that's when she smells bacon.
And eggs.
And French toast.
Inhaling deeply, she grins and launches herself out of bed. She grabs a robe from the bedpost before heading down the hall. Chuck, Ellie, and Awesome are already at the dining room table, breakfast spread out before them. Chuck looks up and catches her eye.
It's different now. It has been ever since that morning in Barstow. She's broken rules for him, and there's no real going back from that. But he looks at her with such sincerity and affection that all regret melts away from her heart. And as she takes a seat beside him, Sarah knows she's doesn't ever want to go back.
"First Time" – Jennifer Love Hewitt – SarahLisaWalkerFan
She wakes up beside him, having somehow managed to worm her way beneath his elbow during the night, and groans sleepily when the doorbell rings a second time.
He leans over her to get a proper look at the alarm clock on the nightstand. "It's not even seven," he complains groggily. "Who'd be at the door so early?"
She grunts an answer meant to convey, I don't know, and, eyes still closed, gives him a gentle shove. "Go answer it."
Chuckling softly, he says, "Fine. But if I get kidnapped by bad guys, it's your fault."
Smiling, she curls into the pillow and waits for him to return. She hears the door open, hears him conversing with whoever's there, hears his footsteps as he pads back towards the bedroom.
"Who was it?" she queries, feeling the mattress sink again.
"Delivery from Beckman."
Suddenly wide awake, she sits up. He's sitting on the edge of the bed, a package in his lap. "What is it?" she asks with a frown. "A mission?"
He shakes his head, the edges of his lips quirking with the smile he can't quite keep in.
She smacks him with a pillow. "Then what?" she demands.
Shrugging, he sets the box on the mattress between them. "Anniversary gift."
She nearly laughs out loud.
"Five years, Sarah," he murmurs, his voice full of wonder.
Her heart swells, and a fond smile plays over her lips. They've made it this long. She doesn't always tell him, but there's not a day that goes by that she doesn't realize how incredibly lucky they are. Leaning over, she wraps her arms around him and pulls him in for a kiss.
"Love you, Chuck."
"Love you more, Mrs. Bartowski."
"Love you most."
"Your Guardian Angel" – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – Listen2TheThunder
Somehow, he always knows when she needs him, always knows when to show up at her hotel room, a bag of chocolate croissants in hand and an adorably crooked smile on his face. It's those times when she gets so dangerously close to running, to leaving and leaving behind the hardest decision she doesn't want to make.
And then he shows up, and she finds she can't leave him at all.
Thankfully, he manages to curb his talkative nature and just let her find security in his comforting presence. But he doesn't have to say anything, because what he wants to say is clear in his eyes: Please don't walk away from this, from us.
"Lost" – Anouk – Nattylovesjordy
The sounds and smells of Argentina permeate the inn as Sarah opens her suitcase to find a dress for the evening's mission. The lid falls open to reveal a photo tucked into the flap, and a pang goes through her chest. This is only a temporary assignment away from Team Bartowski, a solo mission she was needed for, and Casey had promised as well as Casey can promise that he would look after Chuck, but she still feels strangely empty.
Hesitantly, she fingers the wrinkled corner of the photo, taken during their crazy trip to find Roan Montgomery. They were smiling then. She wonders if he's smiling now, without her, and then she wonders idly if she'll ever have the courage to tell him.
OneRepublic – "Stop and Stare" – GatorFan13
Chin resting upon his fist, eyes dull, Chuck Bartowski sits at the Nerd Herd desk. He's 27 years old, or will be tomorrow so that's close enough, and he still works at the Buy More. He used to be on the fast track to freedom, and now he fixes computers for eleven dollars an hour.
One days like this, beautiful late summer days in which no one comes into the store because they're too busy enjoying the weather, he tortures himself by running it all over in his mind, by thinking about what he would give in order to get his life back, and each time the answer grows more elaborate.
He's lost in despondent thought when the automatic doors slide open and reveal a slim, blonde woman. He watches her curiously, refusing to allow himself to be interested, because she will most likely not even talk to him, most likely just browse the music aisles and leave without buying anything. But then she pauses, looks around, and smiles when her eyes find him. He sits up, perplexed, but she only smiles more brilliantly as she heads straight for him.
Plain White Ts – "Come Back to Me" – frompen2paper
She never believed in true love until she met him, never believed in staying in one place for too long or in living simply. But there's a warmth in his smile that awakens the passion in her heart. She's his, thoroughly and completely, and even on nights like this, when he breaks up with her because she's everything he wants but nothing he can have, she waits patiently.
Before, she would have cut her losses and run. Now, though, she believes this is worth saving. And she'll wait for as long as it takes, because there's a place and a time and a life for them.
Martina McBride – "Chances Are" – HJB
In a mere three months, he has turned her from a pillar of strength, a paragon of willpower, to a puddle of goo when he smiles at her. She used to be able to get through the night alone, used to be able to take care of herself. Now she finds herself restive through the early hours, finds herself driving the streets until, inevitably, she ends up at that familiar apartment complex.
He never says anything, just lets her in and lets her curl up against him without any request for an explanation. Inevitably, they wake up tangled in each other. And each time, just as inevitably, she finds that she cares about her goddamn willpower a little bit less.
"When I'm Gone" – 3 Doors Down – Charah 4Ever
She's bundled up, wrapped in secrets that he can't fight his way through no matter how hard he tries. He knows nothing about her – not her real name or what she likes to do on days off or where she grew up – but he somehow knows, when she sidles up against him as they walk home, slides her hand into his without a word, and averts her eyes to look at the sky instead, he knows that all she wants him to do is love her, even if she can never admit it aloud.
Vanessa Carlton – "Ordinary Day" – bulova678
At first glance, Chuck Bartowski is not the bravest of men. He doesn't stand fast in a haze of bullets, doesn't take down enemies with one blow, isn't the first to charge into battle. He's not a hero of the standard kind. But he stands up for his friends, protects his family at any cost.
And he's the first one brave enough to take a chance on Sarah Walker.
He's finally the one who earns her trust, finally the one to nestle under her skin until all she wants to do is live while she has the opportunity, finally the one to make her feel like she holds the world in the palm of her hand.
Lifehouse – "First Time" – bulova678
Sarah likes spending her nights at Chuck's apartment. She likes the feel of his body pressed against hers, likes his arms draped over her waist. She likes his warm breath against her neck. She likes waking up to his face, his tousled hair, his smile.
But most of all, she likes the fantasy it gives her. When she lies next to him, she can imagine all the facets of their 'real' relationship. She can imagine the dates, and the anniversaries, and the evenings spent just watching TV. She can imagine flowers, and romantic picnics, and trips to the beach. She can imagine all the things that are off-limits to her right now.
When she crawls into bed next to him, there's a moment, an honest moment when she can truly admit to herself that she's falling in love, even against her own advice. And even though she's been in love before, it's so much different with Chuck.
"Mood Rings" – Reliant K
After two months of real, honest-to-goodness dating, Chuck's come to realize just how much of a temper Sarah Walker really has. But the truth is, he doesn't really mind her bad moods. They're a part of her, and he loves every aspect of her – hot and cold, up and down, all of her. He even loves her when she's livid, yelling and screaming and throwing things.
What keeps them sane, though, is Sarah's firm belief in the old adage, "Never let the sun set on an argument." Which means that even when she spends the night shooting at the gun range or beating the shit out of her punching bag at Castle, she inevitably comes back, some time between one and two o'clock in the morning, to snuggle under the covers, curl against him, and whisper an apology.
And it's in those moments – those tender, half-awake moments – that he knows without a doubt he's made the right decision in loving her.
"Be My Escape" – ReliantK – bulova678
She's fought it for so long that when she finally gives in, it's like the first wonderful gulp of air after nearly drowning. She spent so much time trying to protect herself when she should have been worried about the damage she was doing to her heart. After the lengthy stalemate that's drained them of all their energy, even one kiss feels like a rejuvenation, like her heart is being pieced back together after a mighty rending. If Paris is the city of love, she wants to stay here forever, wants to lose herself in him and escape from the life that kept them apart in the first place.
It's her move now, her turn to show faith in this relationship. But this is new for her, and she doesn't quite know how, until they're walking back from dinner one night and pass the train station.
"Taking Chances" – Celine Dion
Even as they're flying down the highway with the top down, she can't explain it. She doesn't know what came over her, but here they are, on their way to Vegas spontaneously. Chuck, grinning widely, is holding her hand and singing along to Fleetwood Mac. His smile is infectious, reassuring, and she somehow doesn't care if there will be hell to pay when they get back. Because being with him makes her feel like she's soaring, and there's nothing like love to help her fight off her fears. Being a spy is all about taking risks, but for the first time in her life, she's taking a chance.
"My Paper Heart" – All-American Rejects
In the end, Ellie's the one to blame.
Despite the fact that she knows nothing about their secret lives, the strict rules that separate them, she's the one who convinces Sarah to throw all the damn rules out the window.
"Sometimes I think you don't know how special my brother is," is what she says, no accusation in her voice at all, just genuine concern, and yet Sarah doesn't understand how the person who's come to intimidate her the most is an ER doctor from Echo Park.
"I do," she assures Ellie quietly but firmly, "I do."
Ellie's frowning eyes pierce her. "Then stop playing with his heart."
And she does.
"Breakeven" – The Script – Sunflower90
He falls apart when it happens. They race to the hospital in a frenzy of worry only to meet an even bigger commotion. It's five hours before she's out of surgery, every minute of which is agonizing torture. Just when he thinks his pain can't get any worse, Mr. Perfect shows up, his clothes unwrinkled even after a last-minute flight from DC.
Chuck wants to explode, wants to march over and show this guy exactly how he feels, but there's a hand on his arm that is supposed to calm and comfort him. He swallows, unable to look at her.
His world is falling to pieces and it's all his fault. He's the one who made this decision, the one who ran, the one who pushed her away and into this other guy's arms. She was always the best of him, and yet he's gone and destroyed that. He sighs, heavily, leans back in his chair, watches Mr. Perfect pace around the waiting room, arms crossed against his broad chest.
When she wakes up, though, it's him she asks for first.
He hovers in the doorway, awkwardly jamming his hands into his jeans pockets, because she's okay, and he's shaking from the worry he's endured this night, and his broken heart might be finding its way back to her even across the divide he's created.
But then she smiles at him, and what is he supposed to say?
"I Am Your Skin" – The Bravery – illbeyourmirror
The tremor in Sarah's voice as she bargains with their captors is so slight that he's sure he's the only one who hears it. After thirteen years together, he's attuned to her so thoroughly that he can discern her moods with just a glance. Right now, she's more scared than he's seen her since the days of the Ring, the days when she couldn't say how she felt in case she lost him.
And yet there's calm in her eyes. They've faced death before, too many times to count. He feels strangely defiant. No amount of ruffians and thugs can destroy what they have. Death may come, but there is no end to the life they've created, no end to the love they've passed on and nurtured over the years.
But his mind seems to have gone completely blank. He's glad she's taken the reins, and it's all he can do to fidget inconspicuously until he can stretch out his fingers and touch hers. She responds in kind, and his fingertip flits over the smooth band of her wedding ring. It heartens him more than words ever could.
In a lull during which their captors are preoccupied with masterminding, Sarah whispers, "Do you remember that trip we took to Estonia?"
His brow creases. He remembers stealing an ancient map and eluding bloodthirsty villains through the forest, yes. He wouldn't exactly call that a 'trip', or recall it as fondly as she seems to be doing now.
"Remember I told you to never do that thing you did again?"
His eyes widening in realization, he gives her a tiny nod. That thing . . . that outrageous scheme that had nearly gotten them killed but had instead allowed them to escape.
"Do it," she whispers fiercely, her fingers curling around his.
He locks eyes with her, silently asking for certainty. Because there's no guarantee, the situation's different, they've got so much more to lose now . . . But then her jaw tightens, and her gaze never wavers, and he has his answers.
He leans back in his chair and inhales deeply. Whatever happens in the next two minutes, she's by his side.
"Tonight" – Sugarland
Exhaling deeply, Sarah smoothes out the skirt of her dress. Her heart's palpitating faster than if she were in the face of danger, and her thoughts are a jumble, floating around all a mess in her head. The one thing that seems to make sense, though, for once in her life, is what she's feeling right now: happiness.
Happiness, because tonight she's free. She doesn't have to make a decision until tomorrow. Tomorrow, Operation Bartowski will be officially over, and she'll be officially on her way to a new assignment. She knows what life beside him is like, and there's no price she wouldn't pay to experience that for real, which means that, if he'll have her, tomorrow may also be a turning point for this emotionally-stunted spy.
As she exits the bathroom, her eyes immediately fall upon the gun, her trusty Smith & Wesson, lying on the table. No, she dismisses the idea immediately. Tonight is a real date; tonight is their chance. Words seem to be useless when it comes to their relationship, so she's forced to show him how she feels, and tonight she will finally have the opportunity.
She has no idea what the future holds. Maybe Beckman will refuse to let her go, maybe an entirely new obstacle will keep them apart. All she knows is that they've got tonight, and she's going to make the most of it.
"The World Is Ours Tonight" – Gloriana – kdip4014
She's not going back.
Even when the world has flipped on its axis, and all that seemed so right has turned out to be wrong, even as they sit in the back of an armored truck in the hands of the ultimate enemy, she refuses to go back. Because a life of security, of safety, meant a life in which she never knew his love.
The world may very well end tonight, in one way or another. It would be a mercy if he chose to kill her first, or maybe he would keep her alive to watch as he ripped her family from her – Morgan, Casey, Ellie, and finally Chuck.
The world may very well end, but they've faced the end before, always rising above, always together. And this time, this time she's got him.
"Need You Now" – Lady Antebellum – BillatWork and OrangeJuiceSmilies
He's a little bit drunk when he shows up at her door in the middle of the night. She looks surprised to see him, but he jumps in before she can turn him away.
"Sarah," he pleads, and he knows he's pleading but it's two in the morning and he's had a little too much to drink and he just doesn't give a damn anymore. "Sarah, look, I know I said I'd leave you alone outside of work, and that I wouldn't bother you, but the blunt, honest truth is that I miss you."
She frowns, but thankfully lets him continue, because if she doesn't, he's not sure he can get through this.
"I miss hanging out with you. I miss seeing you smile at my stupid jokes that I'm sure you don't even get half the time. I miss just talking. So . . ." He shrugs, the longing in his chest radiating out through every muscle, every fingertip. "So I guess what I'm asking is . . . can we still be friends?"
Swallowing thickly, she leans against the doorframe, arms folded across her chest. She looks so damn beautiful, all the time, and he sways a bit, finding it difficult to keep himself from wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forever. And she smells nice, like pomegranate and coffee.
"It's hard, Chuck," she finally answers.
"I know," he acknowledges, squeezing his eyes shut. Maybe he needs to sleep. Maybe he needs to kiss her senseless. "For me, too. But it's harder to not be around you."
There's a pause in which he feels the floor between them widen until the gap is big enough for him to fall through, but then, hesitantly, she stands aside to let him in.
"Looks Like Love" – Needtobreathe
She sometimes thinks she doesn't deserve all this. She watches Chuck, watches the Bartowskis, and her heart whispers that they're too good for a con artist like her. She's broken, has nothing to offer them.
She can't even help plan her own wedding, for goodness's sakes. Ellie keeps shooting her sympathetic glances and interjecting with helpful ideas, but nothing can protect her from Mrs. Awesome's disappointment, not that anyone really knows why Mrs. Awesome is helping to plan. She's drowning, awash in a sea of things she should be good at but isn't at all. She's good at throwing knives, catching bad guys, not choosing flowers and colors and tablecloths and ridiculous things she doesn't even really care about. It's enough to make her want to run.
But then she catches a look from her fiancé, catches that gleam in his eyes that tells her exactly how he feels more eloquently than any words could, and she knows this is where she's meant to be, knows what matters most is not the cake or the dress or the number of bridesmaids. It's the fact that this man across the room, this man with his heart big enough to accept her for everything that she is, this man with his goodness and his intelligence and his compassion, has chosen her even with all her faults. It's the fact that, in a few months, she can call him her husband.
She returns his smile, hoping he can see the love she's reciprocating, hoping he can see that she's not running anymore.