So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December all the time
Quinn stared at him blankly. Recently, she couldn't stop staring at him. She wanted to stop but she couldn't, it's like her body was forced to watched him every single time her eyes caught sight of him. It was her fault, it was her fault that he had broken up with her. After all, she was the one who ignited the kiss with Finn first and so the big goof pursued her and Sam found out about by of course, none other than Santana.
She already made up her mind after she had mono. She had chosen Sam over Finn especially when he sang to her a Bieber song. She thought it was stupid at first but at the end of the day, she was really turned on about it. He was just so cute and adorable with the blue jacket and his hair combed just like the way Bieber's hair was.
But when she decided she'd come clean to him when they'd go to Color Me Mine, he already knew. He had broken up with her and was already with Santana. It broke her heart, especially when she saw that she was all over him. Touching his hair, caressing his face, she wanted to rip her apart. It practically shattered her.
She watched him from her seat as he focused on his book. He looked so cute focusing on the book, concentrating on the words. With his dyslexia, it was very hard for him to read. When they were together, she helped him and it had taken every ounce of her being not to help him right now.
Mr. Shue walked in the room, a bright smile on his face, "Alright guys, Regionals is coming up and I want you all to get geared up about it. So this week, your assignment is to just sing any song you want to sing about a person."
"Wait, how will this get us geared up to Regionals?" Puck asked.
Mr. Shue gave us a smile, "Great question, Puck. Well, I want to listen to all of you. I want to listen to your voice so I could locate which one would be a perfect fit for solos."
Mercedes raised her hand, "Isn't this assignment similar to one of our assignment last year?"
"Yes. I understand that I already gave you guys this assignment so to make it a bit more different, why don't I add a bit of juice in it? Whoever wins gets whatever they want to have and it's on me with the exception of alcohol."
"Alright," Finn said, "That could do."
After a few more minutes, Mr. Shue dismissed us. I dashed out the door quickly, partly because I don't want Finn to catch up with me but mostly because I wanted to see Sam and maybe talk to him for a minute or two.
I saw him wheeling Artie out with Brittany. The three of them were talking. I watched him as he lifted Artie up and got him into Brittany's car. He talked to them for a while. God, he looked so handsome. The wind was tousling his hair, he had both of his hands tucked into his jean pocket respectively but the smile on his face made him look even more handsome than he already was. I watched him as he gave Artie a handshake and kissed Brittany's cheek before moving to his car.
I took a deep breath, finding the courage to walk over to him at his car and just talk to him. I miss hearing his voice, the slightest hint of Southern accent in it, the way he would smile whenever someone would just talk to him. God, I missed him so much.
"Hey," I greeted him.
He looked at me and he licked his lips, "Hi."
"We haven't really talked for a while," I started but when I was about to continue, he raised his hand up, stopping me.
"What do you want Quinn?"
I sighed, "I just wanted to talk."
"About what?"
"About you," I said, "How are you? How's life? How are Stevie and Stacy and your parents? What do you think of the weather?"
He looked at me, his bright green eyes staring back at mine, "I'm fine. Life's been okay except that English is still hard for me. Stevie and Stacy are fine. My parents are fine. And the weather's fine. Is that all Quinn?"
I looked down. He's still mad at me. I took a deep breath before looking back at him again, "I'm sorry Sam."
He was quiet for a minute before meeting my gaze again, "Is that all?"
I wanted to just throw myself in his arms after he said that. No, I wasn't even near the middle with just I'm sorry. I restrained myself from what I really wanted to do. He doesn't want to talk to me, I have to look for another way to apologize so he could forgive me but right now was not the time. Right now, his guard was up and I think I just know why.
I nodded, not staring back at him again, "Yea."
"Okay," he said, "Bye."
He got in his car and then drove out of the parking lot, leaving me there. I watched his car drive away and finally disappear. I closed my eyes for a minute. I think I may have an idea to maybe apologize and get rid of all this emotions bottling up inside me. Rachel Berry did say that there's always one thing to get rid of all of those stupid emotions. And that was singing.
Mr. Shue came into the choir the next day. All of us were already there waiting for him. He straightened out his tie before turning to all of us. He had the big smile on his face and he asked who was ready for their assignment. My hand shot up almost as immediately as Rachel's.
"Quinn?" Mr. Shue asked much to Rachel's dislike, "Would you like to take the first spin?"
"Yes," I replied. I stood at the center of the choir room, "This song is for someone who I want to apologize to so I hope he'll listen carefully."
I turned to the band and whispered to them the song. They nodded and asked me if it was about Sam. I nodded a yes before telling Brad the song. He gave me a smile, figuring out who the song was for and telling me that it was a good song. I took a deep breath as they started. I watched all of my teammates, my family, my friends and then at last, my eyes met his and I held his gaze as I started the song.
I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
When we were together, I usually ended up babysitting the younger Evans with Sam while his parents were off to a business meeting. It was always fun when I was at the Evans' household. They practically treated me as their family right when Sam introduced me to them.
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
You're guard is up and I know why
I replayed our conversation yesterday. His green eyes stared back at mine. He bit his lips before turning away, avoiding any eye contact with me. But I still gazed at him despite the fact that he was avoiding me right now.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die
I moved closer to him. I was standing right in front of him and this time, he didn't avoid staring back at me. For the briefest instant, I felt like everything was alright again, like everything would be alright with the two of us. I took his hand, at first he tried to pull away but he eventually just let me hold it.
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It didn't actually happen in December but the rest of the lyrics of the song just fitted our situation perfectly. The others were staring at us, at me, surprised that Quinn Fabray would actually let her guard down and show her vulnerable side to anyone, to everyone.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright
I'd go back to December all the time
I pulled away and regained my spot at the middle of the room. They were all still staring at me but I ignored them. I just focused all of my attention to one male blonde in the group whose eyes were on mine too.
I miss your blonde hair, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me I your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably just mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right
I'd go back in time to change it, but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand
I was stopped from my song when Finn stood up, glaring daggers at Sam before looking at me, "What the hell are you doing?"
"Doing my assignment," I replied.
"What are you doing singing to him?" he asked.
I scoffed, "Why do you care? It's not like we're together."
That shut him up. I turned back to find Sam and finish my song but he was nowhere in sight. Mr. Shue stood up and patted me, "It was a great song Quinn. I understand why you sang it. Now go find him."
I smiled and gave him a hug. The others started rooting to me. I left the room but I wasn't too far away to not hear Santana yell at Finn for being an assuming hypocrite. I giggled and tried to find Sam. Finally, I saw him at the astronomy room.
"Sam."
He turned around and met my eyes, "Quinn."
"I'm sorry, Sam."
"For what?" he asked, staring back at a Venus.
I looked at him and I couldn't help it but repeat the words he said to me when we first came here, "That's Venus, planet of love."
He chuckled, "Yea," he said and looked at me, "And I'm sorry but we're not on it."
I looked down and when I looked back up at him, I tried to force a smile, "Okay. I'm really sorry though. For cheating on you when you were the best thing that has ever been mine."
"You sang a song of Swift and now you're quoting another one of her songs?" he asked with a goofy grin, "Really Fabray? Really?"
"Shut up."
"You know we're not on Venus or Mars," he said and then he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer, "We're on Earth."
I smiled and gazed at his shining green eyes. I closed my eyes and smiled, burying my head at the crook of his neck. For the first time ever since we've been apart, I felt safe again. He pulled me tighter to him and I inhaled his scent. And then I remembered that I didn't finished the song and so I quietly sang the last part to him.
This is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
He smiled at me, "I'd go back to December too."
"Why?"
"So I could just get to do this."
With that he captured my lips into a kiss. I smiled through the kiss, happy to once again just kiss him right then and there. My hands snaked up to his neck and my right hand started to twirl a few locks of his blonde hair. Right now, everything felt the way it's supposed to be, right now, everything is the way it's supposed to be.
I'd go back to December all the time