"BEN!" I shouted. I couldn't reach him. He kept walking away from me, only a dim light above my head so I could barley see.

"BEN!" I shouted again not able to catch his attention. He just kept walking, this was bizarre. I ran faster, I couldn't keep up though he was only doing a slow walk. He turned around and smiled at me, then reached out to touch my hand, as I went to grab it he disappeared.

I jumped up out of bed my face hot and sticky from the seat dripping from my face and down my back. John is asleep. I sighed in relief and walked into my bathroom. I turned the sink on and put a fresh washcloth underneath the cold water. I took the soaking cloth from under the water and lightly dabbed my forehead. I rested my elbows against my bathroom sink counter and took a deep breath. That was the fifth time I had the same dream, me following Ben, him turning and reaching out, him disappearing. I dabbed my head with the damp, wet rag once again and then hung the cloth to dry. When I walked out into my room I lay down and looked at the clock. 2:30 AM. As soon as I start to drift back to sleep little whimpers cam from John's bassinet. I sighed and walked over to pick him up. His dipper wasn't wet, and he wasn't due for another feeding until morning. I tried rocking him back to sleep and with no luck picked up my cell phone. I hit speed dial number 3 and waited patiently for the other person to answer the phone.

"Hello?" the voice asked on the other line. I sighed relieved he had answered so late at night.

"Can you please come get John? I'm tired and haven't gotten much sleep tonight." I explained hesitantly biting my lip.

"Yeah, I will be right there." He said back.

I hung the phone up and went downstairs to wait. I flicked the kitchen light on and sat in a chair still rocking a fussy John. There was a small rap on the door about ten minutes later. I cradled at still fussy baby and went to open it.

"Hey Ricky." I whispered not wanting to wake the others, not that this would even help with all of the fussing. He gave me a slight smile and walked in taking John into his arms. As soon as John was in his arms the fussing stopped and giggles took its place. Ricky smiled down at his son and cooed in response to the broken giggles. I sighed at this. Ricky looked up knowing what I was thinking. I had said it aloud before but kept my mouth shut this time. I yawned and sat back down in my chair resting my head in my hand. Ricky looked back over at me.

"Here hold him while I pack some things and get his carrier." He whispered. I nodded opening my arms out to John. When Ricky came back down the hall he had a dipper bag in one hand and a carrier in another. He set the carrier down on the table and took John from my arms. He laid him down his carrier and buckled the belt securing the baby in.

"I got what I needed for him; I'll take him and pick him up from the nursery tomorrow. On my way to work I'll drop him off here, and then I'll be over after work." He whispered. I nodded back at him.

"OK sounds good to me." I whispered back. He smiled and took the carrier and the dipper bag out the door. After he buckled John in the back, he started his car and drove away. The purr of the light engine became silent as Ricky turned onto another road and disappeared into the dark. I shut the door and locked it then trotted to bed. I drifted soon losing full consciousness.

When I awoke the sun leaked through my blinds and hit my face. I had got a good nights rest since Ricky had John. My mother walked into my room as I was slipping my slippers on. She did a double take then looked around.

"Oh my God!" she said panicked. "Where's John at?"

"Ricky came over at 2:30 to get him. I had to sleep; I couldn't take it anymore mom, everything I do he fusses at." I sighed and she calmed down.

"OK well start getting ready for school." She said and left the room. I walked into my bathroom and turned the shower on. I stepped in dropping the towel wrapped around me to the floor. I splashed the water around, I washed my hair and body then turned the water off. The morning was peaceful; I was ready for school on time and actually had breakfast. When I got to school I saw Ben leaned up against my locker with a frown on his face. I sighed and shook my head as I approached him. When I reached my locker I started to twist my combination. I was still mad he was actually going to Italy without me.

"Amy please." He begged me.. I nodded encouraging him to talk. He smiled.

"I think we should talk." He said getting nervous biting his lower lip. My locker door opened and I grabbed my books.

"Go ahead. Talk." I sighed. I took in a deep breath. He dropped his head like he was staring at the white floor beneath us. He then grabbed my arm and pulled me into an empty class room.

"I think we should." He stopped I looked up at him tears already in my eyes knowing what he was about to say. "I think we should take a break, I mean I do love you Amy, but I'm going away and you need to focus on John." He said strong. I looked up and stared deep into his eyes for something, anything, there was nothing. I tried to hold back the falling tears but it was too late. I held my hand beneath my face and caught a falling tear. I looked down and then up again.

"Your breaking up with me?'" I asked my voice breaking. He nodded and then left giving me time. What was happening?