Disclaimer: If I owned these characters, I'd have much more money due to licensing agreements. Since I am currently living on Ramen noodles, it's obvious that I don't.
Note: Yes, this takes place in the comic universe. However, I enjoyed the idea of Storm teaching from the movie, and have placed it here.
Here we go again. Transparent flirting. Can't they see that I'm not interested? Can't blame 'em, though. I mean, what other choices they got? Jeannie's locked up Cyke in their room, Beast has decided to literally move in the med lab, and the Cajun is off-limits, 'less ya want to fight Rogue in the Danger Room. And besides, I am the best.
"So, do your healing factor apply to um…all tasks?"
Ya know, for someone we've codenamed "Barrier," she sure
ain't hesitating ta let down her shields for me. Smile, nod, and try not to break their heart. Best advice 'Ro gave me in how to deal with
these new students. For her teaching
about Anthropology, the study of man, her female students sure are anxious to
experiment.
"When you get excited, do others things aside from your claws well, pop out?"
Saved by the One-Eye.
"Class, it's time to go down to the garage for today's lesson. Hey Logan, still going to teach that self-defense class?"
"Nah, Cyke. Not today. Got stuff to do."
"Fine. Leave me with the hormone-crazed kids. I've got nothing better to do. On your way up to your room, could you check with Storm to see what it was she wanted to give me?"
"Alright."
As Cyclops left through the double doors, Logan gave a great
sigh of relief and collapsed into the nearest overstuffed chair. Being the center of attention for fifteen
or so teenage girls is exhausting. Especially when about three of them are all tryin' to play with my head
at the same time. Luckily, their
power's bout as focused as a camera lens with Vaseline on it. Better go check with 'Ro and see what the
hell she could want to do with the dick. Aside from electrocuting him, that is.
Chuckling from the mental image of a frying Scott Summers, Logan dragged himself out of the chair, and made his way to the loft, stopping only to say hello to Jubilee. Before knocking on Storm's door, he heard her mutter something about horrid papers, and that failing students should have to wash the uniforms for a month. With a light tap, he heard Ororo shuffle some papers, and call for him to enter.
"Logan! Just the man I wished to see." Standing from the chair where a mess of graded papers lay, she walked over to pull him into her room further, a smile dancing around her lips.
Eyebrows shooting toward the ceiling, Logan smiled back. "Pullin' me into your room, wanting ta see me, smiling…gee 'Ro, I knew those cold rain showers of yours weren't gonna keep you held over for long."
"Funny, Logan. Actually, I was wondering if I could take your picture for use as a visual aid in my Anthropology class."
Cocking his head slightly, Logan wondered what Ororo could be up to. Deciding to bite, he asked "Why?"
Smiling, Ororo sat down on the edge of her bed and picked up her camera. "Well, Logan, we are going to be studying adaptation to high altitudes, and given your propensity to climb in the mountains…"
"Sure, 'Ro. But I'm not giving a goofy smile or anythin'."
Standing up, Storm positioned herself in proper light, and held the camera up to her eye. "Well, then, smile normally." With a click, she took the picture, lowered the camera, and thanked Logan. Turning toward her desk, she asked if he could take a few papers to Scott, and sat back down in front of her gradebook.
Laughing a bit, Logan decided to press his luck. "Ok, 'Ro. Maybe sometime we can videotape something else in this room."
"Sure, you 'mountain man' you. Now, leave me in peace before you are forced to grade 20 papers on Charles Darwin."
As he was leaving, he knew he heard Storm's laughter, but attributed it to some blunder in her papers.
Laughter. All I've heard all day. Yesterday, all the girls were all over me, and today, they point and laugh. Started right after 'Ro's class, too. Ya know, maybe I should find out what she did with that picture she took yesterday.
Opening the door to the empty classroom, Logan immediately spotted his picture. Blown up to poster size, the heading was Adaptations to High Altitude, and had arrows with comments pointing to different areas. An arrow toward the eyes read "less visual ability," while one toward the heart read, "increase in heart rate." Scanning down the picture, he saw an arrow to his groin, with three bullets out from it. "Testosterone decreased by 50%, virtual sterility, and shrinkage of organs." In a smaller writing, he saw "Girls, sure you want a 'mountain man' now?"
Speechless, Wolverine stared at this chart with arrows proclaiming him to be well, empty and small, and gasped for air. Regaining his use of his voice box, he yelled "Ororo! I'm gonna kill you! I do not fire blanks! I…am…not…sterile!" Panting, he stalked up the stairs, intent on finding Storm.
Over in the garage, two figures gave each other high fives, laughing. "That was brilliant, Storm. I can't believe you pulled it off."
"He needed it, Scott."
"He keeps calling me a dick, guess I can respond now with 'At least mine works.'"
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AN: OK, the idea for this came about while sitting in Anthropology class. Sorry if you didn't like it, but at least it isn't a Mary Sue.