Chapter 1. Rolling in the Deep.

Blaine slipped his grey sweater vest over his head and threw it on his bed. He was pacing frantically and felt hot and confused. He ran his hands through his stiff gelled hair. 'Why did I do it?' he asked himself aloud. He pulled his Dalton Academy tie from his neck to loosen it and then undid three buttons on his shirt. 'I have to make it right.' He stopped pacing and stood behind his computer chair, too frightened to open his mac because of the backlash waiting for him from Kurt's friends and especially from Rachel. They weren't meant to get caught and no one would have known or expected it, they could have kept it quiet if neither of them had been so dumb and could have avoided it totally if Blaine hadn't gone with Kurt to Rachel's party or turned up at McKinley today. He bit the bullet and flipped open the laptop, still standing up, he hunched forward to open up instant messenger, facebook and tumblr.

"Blaine Warbler. I can't believe what I saw today. Shame on you! How could you do that to Kurt? You have a lot of explaining to do. " Was the first message to pop up on Facebook. It was Mercedes, he knew she was a really close friend of Kurt's. Probably his best friend and she had been the one who had stumbled upon them. He pushed his hand through his hair once again, his hands shaking slightly from the shock of the whole day. He wanted to ask her why she told him, what she saw, how could she jump to conclusions like that, but he couldn't lie anymore. Every conclusion that had been jumped to was the right one, and for that Blaine felt truly guilty. He wished he could put his hand on his heart and say "It was an innocent hug between friends. Nothing has or ever will happen between us." But he couldn't.

He flicked his browser over to tumblr and began to scroll down his dashboard looking for a post from Kurt. There was a picture of the two of them together, taken a few days after Rachel's party. They looked so happy. Kurt's arm was affectionately draped over Blaine's shoulder, and Blaine's arm was tight around his waist. Kurt had added something though; "What becomes of the broken hearted?" written underneath. He considered what he could do in response. An anon inbox would be cowardly, a fanmail would be equally cowardly. So he made a decision and reblogged it and added "I'm so sorry, Kurt. Answer your cell please?" He'd tried calling at least 20 times to try and talk to him, to reason with him, but Kurt wouldn't answer this time. He was probably crying into an Alexander McQueen scarf whilst Burt tried to comfort him. The thought of it made his heart break. Kurt had been through so much, with death threats and dumbass homophobes at McKinley, but he'd stuck it out, he had friends to defend him and help him and the teachers had been great. Kurt had been considering transferring to Dalton for a while, but had decided to stay at McKinley, he said he'd miss his friends too much, and the cut of the blazer wouldn't suit his physique. Blaine smiled at the recollection of Kurt's explanation.

He checked facebook again and had messages from Santana, Quinn and Puck.

"I don't know what you did to ladyface, but when I find out I'll cut up your bow tie collection one by one whilst you watch and cry, you weird 50's throwback." He imagined Santana's voice cutting through him as she said it.

Puck simply wrote "dude. not cool."

But Quinn's was different.

"Hey Blaine. I know you're probably expecting a seething message about how much you've hurt Kurt. But I want to tell you I understand. I've been where you are because of cheating, and whilst I don't condone it, I can't judge you. You seem like a nice guy and you were probably confused and of course I totally understand the attraction. There's just something about him isn't there? Anyway, if anyone is giving you a hard time, you can call me or write me on here. I'll listen. Everybody needs a friend sometimes. Q xx"

He sighed with relief, at least someone understood. He hadn't expected it, but it made a dent on the aching he felt all over his body from anxiety. No messages appeared on his wall, he was openly gay, nobody at McKinley really knew him and he was accepted at Dalton, and for that he was lucky.

He decided to reply to puck, hoping he might be another one to understand.

"Puckerman, listen to me. I didn't mean to upset Kurt, he's such a great guy and I really, really like him. I didn't mean for him to be so hurt."

They'd only been dating for about two months, but at that party, before they'd even started talking about their feelings, Blaine had done something stupid and kissed Finn on the lips, in the hallway of the berry household and then they'd done more. Suddenly Blaine remembered Finn, he isn't even out as gay or bi or bi-curious or whatever he identifies as. He frantically types Finns name into the search bar and there he is. He clicks on his page. He scrolls down through the messages. It's full of the hate-filled ramblings of homophobes and assholes from McKinley. Who Blaine didn't know personally, but he knew existed from Kurt's experience.

"heard you're a faggit now too?" "maybe some of that kurt kids gay rubbed off on you!" they were all equally venomous and stupid.

Finn was online, trying to delete the messages faster than they appeared on his page, but couldn't keep up. Blaine noticed when one disappeared but two more popped up. Blaine pulled out the chair and sat down heavily.

"Finn. I'm so sorry this has happened." Blaine typed quickly into a personal message with Finn.

Then Finn's name turned black and he couldn't click it anymore. Had he deleted him or blocked him or deleted his whole Facebook? Blaine felt even worse. He felt responsible.

He sat with his head in his hands for a moment. He felt selfish, how could he be thinking about him and Kurt and not Finn? He started calling Finn. When there was no answer he cursed and slammed his phone on the table. Suddenly his ask box on tumblr had 20 messages.

About 17 of them were from anonymous users, asking him how he could dare break Kurt's heart. He expected they were followers of his fashion blog, there to defend Kurt against the evil cheater Blaine. But then there was one from an anonymous who signs his name.

Finn was in his own room, laying on the bed staring at the ceiling. He's just deleted his facebook to avoid his friends, McKinley students, and Rachel. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to explain and he didn't want to make a scene. He felt bad that people got hurt, he felt bad for sweet Rachel, who was also sort of pushy and scary and Kurt, who was his brother, who he had defended from Karofsky but then hurt himself.

He wanted the bed to just eat him alive, to just fall into the mattress and be found by archaeologists in 500 years' time. Then no one would be hurt, Rachel would move on with her dreams, Kurt would forget and forgive Blaine and everything would be great. His phone buzzed and wouldn't stop, so he pulled the sim card out and switched it off. He couldn't stop thinking about Blaine, but he didn't want to bother him, maybe if he just ignored them all it would go away. But he had to know, he had to make sure Blaine was alright. He started to think about what could be going on with him, if the assholes at McKinley wouldn't leave him alone, and he'd had texts and calls from all of new directions asking what was going on, Blaine was probably going through the same. He knew Blaine had a tumblr, he'd looked on it sometimes to see him when he missed him. He pulled his laptop onto the bed from the floor and logged on. He found the link in his history after some searching and saw the picture of Blaine and Kurt with the text underneath. He opened the little box to contact him and began to write:

"hey, I hope your ok. I cant answer the phone and I had to delete my facebook because, well you know why. I hope your ok. Im sorry blaine. I didn't mean for it to all come oujt and I hope I haven't ruined things for you and kurt. Sorry for not picking up man- Finn."

He pressed send. It was rushed and full of typos he knew Blaine wouldn't like. The corner of his mouth curled up into a smile at the thought of Blaine mentally correcting the errors.