DIY: The Louisa Project
"Martin, I've been thinking. I cannot forget the words you said on the day we didn't get married, that I wouldn't make you happy. It hurt to hear them. Even today, when we've gotten back together and are clearly committed to each other, I worry that you may feel that way again," Louisa admitted one night after she had put Philip down for the night. Martin had been reading some medical journal in his attempt to keep up with trends and new information in his field. But as this was an important topic to his wife, he realized he couldn't not pay attention.
"I think you're making too much of that. Clearly we both succumbed that day to the idle inuendos of others, and allowed ourselves to be persuaded that we weren't really suited for each other," Martin tried to be reassuring. "You know how I feel about all that now … it was rubbish then, it's rubbish now. I was right the first time: I can't bear to be without you … and now Philip as well."
Louisa smiled at that, but pressed on, "Well, nice of you to say so, and I believe you now. But let's face it, I'm not getting any younger, and I may already be well past my prime. I know that most people wouldn't believe me, but you know how much I love you. I can't explain it except to say that you are the most interesting man I've ever known. I still want to get inside your head, but I think I'm learning how hard that is to do. I also think I'm much less complicated than that, and I don't want you to get tired of me."
"Once again, let me reiterate for you my basic assessment: that's rubbish, Louisa. Where do you get such ideas? I'm not going anywhere, I've only just arrived here and I find I like it here," he said as he drew her closer to reassure her, and kissed her lightly for good measure. He remembered only too well what it was like when she had been in London, and how awful it had been when she was pregnant and they clashed regularly.
"You're making my point for me," she replied. "It's exactly because we went our separate ways before that I am concerned, and that I want to do something to demonstrate how much has changed. Martin, I have a plan and I hope you will like it."
Hearing these words gave him pause.
She continued, "You have a distinct advantage over me when it comes to all things physical. As you occasionally remind me, you're a doctor, so of course, it's natural that you have this advantage especially when it comes to knowing how to satisfy me. Among other things, you're an amazing lover. You know how to do things that send me straight into the stratosphere, and you seem to know exactly when to do what. I'm not complaining; just the reverse, I love it. But here's my concern: I'm sure I'm not offering the corresponding level of attention to you that you give me. It doesn't seem fair to you."
Martin smiled at Louisa's frank admission. "Ok, so what do you have in mind? But let's be clear, I'm not saying that you're falling short in any respect. I'm perfectly happy as we seem to be developing an ease in living together and all of that. And I would also state for the record that you do plenty of things to satisfy me in the bedroom."
"I'm not a teacher for nothing. I believe I can study and learn all about the things I can do that will please and satisfy you. I'm not just talking about in the bedroom, although I think that's where I'd like to start. I'm also talking about developing interests more in common with you so that we share more things," she explained. She seemed to be quite earnest in what she was saying.
"Louisa, if you really wish to embark on a course of study, you don't have to make me the subject. I can assure you, I'm not looking anywhere else, at anyone else, for anything else. I'm very happy where we are, and I'm sure we'll be fine. I don't wish to discourage you, but I don't think I will be the best subject for you. Plus, I don't want to be under the microscope all the time, if you know what I mean," Martin gently pushed back. "Although, if you wish to start in the bedroom, I can get behind that and we can make it a mutual, self study course? Hm? Let's go get started," and he grabbed her hand and led her upstairs.
But Louisa was not to be put off so easily. She liked having a project, especially one that would benefit both of them. Tomorrow? She'd bring out the clipboard, timer, whistle and … no, that was just daydreaming on her part. With all the new parenthood routines and other distractions, she was glad she had thought of somewhere else to direct her attention. Honestly, she had a feeling this was going to be fun.