"I Love you, Tessa." Will said

Those words still haunt me and it feels like my heart is being ripped into two.

But it has been two months and Jem and I have grown so close. I know that I love Jem

I do, but Will Herondale will always have a special place in my heart.

"Tessa are you okay?" Jem said breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Oh! I am sorry Jem I got lost in my thoughts. What were you just saying?" I mumbled still a bit dazed

"Love, I was asking if you wanted to go the park and have a picnic for lunch?' he asked looking amused. I blushed crimson with embarrassment that I had been thinking of Will's confession of love for me. I looked up into Jem's silver rimmed eyes and took his glorious appearance in his sharp edged cheek and jaw bones and his lips along with his pure silver hair. He was truly beautiful. I smiled "That would be splendid Jem." and kissed him on the cheek.

The walk to the park was beautiful. "Tessa, I have been thinking and i just want you to know that I think that we should get married sooner. I know that we have told the others that we wanted to get married in the fall but, summer has already started and I do not want to waste another minute of my life of not being married to you."Jem confessed blushing slightly as Tessa looked at him with big grey eyes.

"But Jem the council? They have not approved of our request!" I stepped forward and cupped Tessa's face in my hands "Tessa I do not care. I Love you so much. And I do not want wait and I do not care if the council has not approved. I want to spend the rest of my life with the women that I love who is right in front of me."

I sighed and look up into Jem's eyes "Yes."

His eyes went wide with surprise "Really?"

I smiled and nodded "Yes. James Carstairs I want to get married to you; more than anything."

"I Love You Tessa Gray." Jem sighed and lean forward and captured my lips with his.

Jem started the kiss off slow and sweet. I returned the kiss greatly, and then the hunger that I have always gotten when kissing Jem took over me. Jem's hand tangled in my hair and then ghosted lightly down my back to my waist. He pulled me closer to him. It was as if time stopped when I was with him and it was just the two of us in this big world of the unknown. Jem pulled back from me and kissed me once, then twice and pulled back.

"As I have said before, I think we are in need of a chaperon." He chuckled lightly and brushed his fingers through my tangled mass of curls. Blushing greatly I laughed and grabbed his hand and gave it a slight squeeze.

"I do not think you should worry, soon we will be able to what ever we want." I kissed his hand.

"Of course, now shall we go and eat?" he smiled down at me.

"That would be an idea." I giggled

Our lunch in the park was very beautiful; I think I cherished it a lot more than I expected then I thought. The thought that Jem could get sick and not get better; haunts my darkest nightmares

Jem has become my rock over the past months. And everyday he has made me come to realize just how much I Love him. I hope to god that Will understands that I do love Jem and that I would never hurt him. Will and I gave been drifting apart ever since he told me that he loved me. Maybe it is for the best but I do wish we were still close; but I am not sure that we will ever be the same friends that we once were. I looked at Jem's pure silver eyes and knew that I was making the right decision. As we were walking up Jem had started to cough we stopped and got worse. "Jem!" I yelled he pulled his handkerchief back and to see that it was splattered with blood.

"Tessa." He whispered and slumped over just as I caught him