How To Use Apostrophes, Among Other Things.

'What's the matter?' asked John, looking up from the newspaper.

'Read this atrocious email that I've just received.' Sherlock thrust his laptop at John.

It read: Thanks Mr Holmes! Your the best! Noone else could of done it. It's fur still hasn't grown yet, not since that horrible man shaved it all off, but were both so grateful. Regards, Gwendolyn Mills.

John chuckled. 'What's this about?'

'It's just some silly woman thanking me for the recovery of her lost poodle. All I said to her was that her ex-husband had probably taken it, which she could have easily figured out herself, if only she had thought about it,' Sherlock stated disdainfully.

'And are you going to reply?'

'Yes,' answered Sherlock, with an unusual expression on his face that John failed to observe.

'All right then, I'll leave you to it,' said John, rapidly losing interest in the subject, and immersing himself in the newspaper once again.

Mrs Mills,

It was but a trifling matter, and the answer was glaringly obvious from the start. You could have (Note: 'could have', and not 'could of') figured it out yourself, if you had used your brains to think about it.

It is true that I am the best consulting detective in the world. There is no one else like me. By the way, the words 'no one' are two separate words, and you mean 'you're', not 'your'. The word 'your' is a possessive determiner, whereas 'you're' is a contracted form of the words 'you are'.

I hardly expected your poodle's fur to grow so rapidly, as it had been shaved off merely two days ago. Your usage of 'it's' is also entirely incorrect, because 'it's' is a contraction of 'it is'. This is a common and extremely annoying mistake, but that is no excuse for making it. Besides that, you have omitted the apostrophe in 'we're'.

Sherlock Holmes.

'Done,' Sherlock informed John, a mere five minutes later.

'Done what?' queried John half-heartedly, for he was engrossed in an article about the recent increase in Scotland Yard's success rate (thanks to Sherlock and John, obviously).

'I've typed out the reply to Mrs Mills.'

That caught John's attention. He narrowed his eyes. 'And what did you say?' he asked, as he got off the sofa and headed to the table. He read through what Sherlock had typed out, widened his eyes in horror, and quickly deleted it.

'Sherlock!' he exclaimed. 'You can't say things like that!'

Sherlock, who had watched John delete his reply without betraying any emotion, calmly asked: 'You are aware of the fact that I remember every word in that email, and that I can simply retype it, aren't you?'

'That's not the point! You can't go around showing off and being clever all the time. It's irritating.'

'I'm just trying to teach her proper English,' protested Sherlock. 'Isn't that a good thing?'

'Yeah, well, if I know of anyone who actually wants English lessons, or any sort of lessons at all, I'll refer them to you,' was John's sarcastic response. 'Of course, that's only if I'm able to find anyone who can last ten minutes without hitting you.'

'You've lasted more than ten minutes,' Sherlock pointed out.

'That's because I've got a lot of self-control, and I'm insane. I must be, to live with you every day.'

The both of them grinned, as they realised the truth of that statement.

A/N: I got the inspiration for this collection of stories from the beginning of the episode 'The Great Game', in which Sherlock Holmes was being his usual annoying self, caring more about grammar than the fact that Mr Bewick would be hanged for the crime that he had committed. I must admit that I am a bit of a Grammar Nazi myself, though I really have no right to be one, as my own knowledge of grammar is rather shaky. Anyway, this is the first Sherlock fanfic that I've published, so do forgive me if it's horrible! Thank you so much for actually taking the time to read it.