Living The Dream

Chapter 1: The Perfect Life:

Alright I started this story a long time ago. I know this chapter will seem sorta anti-B/A. But I like it better when they find there way back to each other. And when Cordilia gets all forgotten so thats what I'm doing. Plz review and tell me what you think

Angel rolled over in his bed, still in an uneasy sleep. It wasn't often he dreamed but when he did they were always vivid. He could almost feel the sensation of her skin against his own, a vivid picture etched in his mind. Her soft skin, warm lips, silky hair. Her body was clinging helplessly to his own. He could practically hear her soft moan as he pressed deeper into her. He wanted her so badly. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and tell her just that.

He was sure Cordilia felt the same way about him. He should make a move shouldn't he? He should go right up to her and say what he knew they were both thinking.

A knock on the door stirred him into consciousness.

"Angel?" Cordilia's voice called in to him from the other side of his closed door. "Are you awake yet?"

Angel was reluctant to leave his dream yet excited by the thought of seeing her for real.

"I'm up" he called back to her forcing him self out of his welcoming bed.

For once in his life everything was going well. Connor was home, and Cordilia had told Groo to go back to Pylea. That proved it? She must have feelings for him.

Angel moved downstairs and was greeted by the sight of all his friends, his family sitting around together. Gunn, Fred, Cordilia, Lorne, and Connor. All of them together just as it should be.

"Coffee?" Cordilia asked offering him the mug she held. He took it gratefully and her hands held his for a long tender moment before she smiled and moved away.

'That went well.' He thought to himself.

There hadn't been many calls for help lately but it wasn't bothering Angel. He had everything he needed, everything he could want. Well almost, but he'd have her soon enough. Angel was even going to take Connor through a few more combat moves. Yes for once everything was working out.

**************

'So this is going well' Buffy thought as she patrolled for the night. 'As well as it could be anyways, all things considered.' So far she'd stayed strong and resisted Spike. Part of her wondered how long that would last. Despite her resolve a part of her still wanted him.

It didn't matter how many times she told herself it was wrong. Spike was a drug to her. He made her feel wrong and dirty, which was what she was. She didn't deserve better. She deserved to be tainted.

It was that sort of sick logic that kept her awake at nights. It was that sort of thinking that kept bringing her back to him. She moved through the graveyard, silently as always.

How had she gotten here? What had happened to the innocent girl she once was? The one who used to laugh and enjoy being around her friends?

That sick logic of hers always knew the answer. That girl had been left in the grave she had clawed out of. She had come back wrong. She knew that despite what Tara or anyone else said. How else could it be that she did these things?

Buffy knew he was near her, she always knew. So she tried to ignore him, kept her pace brisk. Making sure she made it clear that she wished to be alone. Naturally that didn't stop him.

"Buffy"

"Go away Spike" she called back to him as she kept her pace, not once looking towards him. Still he trotted up behind her.

"Buffy can't we at least talk about this?" Spike pleaded.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"You feel something for me, I know you do. I could tell when I brought that girl to the wedding. You were jealous, there's something real between us."

"Spike please. I don't want to do this tonight." He sighed as he continued to walk along beside her.

"Then lets do something else." He suggested seductively. He said it in that voice that sent chills down her spine. He grabbed onto her hand forcing her to stop walking, and just as quickly he pulled her towards him so that she was now pressed tightly to him.

"Spike don't," she said weakly as his lips descended on her own. Capturing her in a searing and brutal kiss. Spike pulled her tighter as their kiss deepened and he could feel Buffy giving into his cold caress.

She wanted to give in, wanted to lose her self in his touch and forget who she really was. His cool hands ran along her body, a cruel mockery of similar hands that had once held her so lovingly. But those times were long gone, as was the one who'd held her. Now there was only Spike, and pleasure without the love.

The slightest strand of sanity returned to her and she pulled away but still remained in his embrace.

"No Spike, never again" She told him trying to step out of his arms.

"One more time love." He coaxed pulling her back into another fierce kiss. She was lost again. Her body numbing with the sensation. She kissed him back just as violently and was so very close to giving in. Then she remembered Dawn.

'Was she alone right now? Feeling abandoned once again?' For a moment Buffy remembered Dawns out burst at her party. She hadn't been around because she was with Spike. She'd promised Dawn that that would change and here she was about to do go down that road again.

She pulled away and this time she completely left his embrace. Spike moved towards her and this time she ran.

************

'She's so beautiful' Angel thought to himself. He was reading a book; well at least it appeared that he was. The truth was he'd been watching Cordilia over the top of his book for quite some time. She on the other hand was just writing, doing work of some sort.

Could she feel his eyes racking over her body as she sat so still. Did she want him as much as he did right now? He wanted to grab her and press her into the desk she was working at. But how could he? What if she reacted badly, besides Fred and Gunn were in the room.

Angel sighed out loud before standing and making his way towards the stairs. The day hadn't been all that eventful and he was finding Cordilia all to tempting.

"I'll see you guys in the morning" he called over his shoulder as he headed up the stairs. He could feel Cordilia's gaze on his back and it sent chills down his spine.

Visions of her swam through his head as he lied awake in his bed. The smell of her perfume was still intoxicating him. He wanted so much to just reach into the blankets and-

"Angel?" her soft voice called from the other side of his door. Before she opened it and slipped in. "Good your still awake. I've been thinking a lot lately"

"About what?"

"Just us." She whispered as she came closer and sat on the edge of his bed.

"Us?" he replied swallowing deeply.

"I was thinking maybe we could go out somewhere, sometime."

"Yeah, yeah sure" he told her

"Alright sounds good." She leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the lips, before darting away and moving towards the door.

"Good night"

"Night" he called after her.

He was definitely going to have a good night's sleep.

As he slipped into unconsciousness he began to feel her body against his, and her lips traveling over him. He hadn't felt like this since…No there was no point in going there, she had her own life and so did he now. They were both happy that way.