It was a gorgeous day in Gravity Falls. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, the birds were singing and shoes were half off at the local store. So was she enjoying nature? Having a shopping spree with Candy and Grenda? Playing with Waddles?
Nope.
She was watching her weirdo brother do . . . whatever the heck he was doing.
It had started that morning. She had happily been eating pancakes and Mabel Juice and detailing the wonders of Mega Rainbow Kitten 3: Pawdy Time! to a very interested Grunkle Stan when Dipper shot to his feet with a shout of "I got it!" and bolted outside.
That had been three hours ago and he was still doing it. Whatever it was.
"Hiya, Dude." Soos shot her a wide grin as he exited the Mystery Shack followed by Wendy.
"Is Dipper still at it?" The redhead exclaimed in surprise.
"Yup." Mabel confirmed, watching as Dipper stopped dragging a long pipe across the yard to flick through the Journal for the 38th time.
Soos chuckled "I wouldn't worry, Dawg. It takes a while to build a spaceship."
"I still say its a a fashion robot." Mabel countered with a grin.
Wendy quirked an eyebrow at her "I thought you said it was a disco rodeo?"
Mabel shot her a look of infinite wisdom "I'm keeping my options open."
"Ugh!" Dipper suddenly exclaimed, recapturing there attention as he tore a page out of the notebook he had been scribbling in "I forget to carry the two. Its way too big." he rubbed his chin as his eyes narrowed in thought and shot a look at the journal. "That just might work." he muttered then spun around and raced off into the forest.
The three blinked after him then glanced back at the object of their friend's toil. They tilted their heads to the right. Then to the left.
"What . . . is it?" Mabel asked in confusion
"I don't know. It doesn't really look like anything." Wendy huffed in frustration
"Maybe its some form of modern art?" Soos rubbed his chin in thought as he narrowed his eyes.
"What the Great Hornfogler is that?!"
The three spun in surprise to see Grunkle Ford standing at the edge of the porch, mouth hanging open in shock. The older man's head suddenly whipped towards them, making them jump in surprise at the dangerous look in his eye, and threw out his arm to gesture at the strange pile of junk in the middle on the yard "Do you three have anything to do with this monstrosity?" he demanded gruffly
"Hey!" Mabel exclaimed, leaping to her brother's defense "Dipper's been working really hard on . . . whatever this is. Don't you dare make fun of it!"
Ford's face fell at his niece's outburst "Dipper built this?"
Mabel was distracted from replying her brother stepped out for the forest, carrying a thin crystal as long as his head.
Dipper cried out as a blue ray shot out, vaporizing the crystal in an instant.
Mabel spun back around and her eyes widened in horror at the sight of her Grunkle holding his future gun.
Aimed at her Brother.
"Die, Wyndom Scum!" Ford exclaimed
"NO!" Wendy, Soos and Mabel screamed in unison.
Soos tackled Stanford just he pulled the trigger. Dipper squeaked in terror and dove back into the forest as another blue beam shot past just inches from his nose.
"Dipper!" Mabel exclaimed
"Mabel!" Wendy snapped, capturing the younger girl's attention "Go find your brother," The redhead ordered, pointing to the woods with an ax "We got this."
Mabel gave a quick nod in acknowledgment then burst into a sprint, racing after her brother and disappearing into the forest.
The door to the shack slammed open to reveal Stanley Pines, dressed only in his underwear, slippers and a tank-top with a rolled up newspaper in his hand and a scowl on his face "What in the name of Alberta's undies is going on out here?!" he demanded
"Get off me!" Ford exclaimed in frustration, drawing their attention as he wiggled like a trapped worm under Soos' impressive wight.
"Uh, Soos, why are you sitting on my idiot brother?"
"Idiot?!" Ford squawked in outrage "Of all the nerve! I'm trying to save your lives!"
Wendy marched forward "Save us? You tried to kill Dipper!" she shouted back, looming over him in fury.
"What?!" Stan exclaimed from behind her.
Ford's face paled in dawning realization "You've got it all wrong. Please, let me explain."
Stan stomped up beside Wendy, eyes cold "Oh, your going to explain yourself, alright." he growled, rage building like thunderclouds in his voice, and waved his newspaper threateningly in his twin's face "But it'd better be one heck of an explanation."
"Dipper!" Mabel called out desperately as she charged through the trees, cresting a hill. This was bad. She had no idea why Grunkle Ford had shot at her Bro-Bro after only a day of being back. Maybe it was some kind of space madness. Maybe he just hated modern art.
She had no idea.
But Wendy and Soos were taking care of her potentially dimension mad Grunkle. It was her job to find her brother. And she had to find him. She just had to.
"Dipper!" she called again as she crested a hill "Dipper, where are yo-Ahhh!" her feet suddenly slid out from beneath her and she went tumbling down the hill. She rolled off the side of a cliff and grunted as she came to an abrupt halt, thankfully having fallen only a few feet. Okay. That hurt.
"Mabel?"
Her head snapped up in surprise and a wave of relief washed over her.
There, at the other side of the clearing she had fallen into, was Dipper. His eyes flicked nervous about, clearly going out of his mind with panic. Granted, her twin wasn't the calmest at the best of times. But this time it was a trillion percent justified "Are-are you alone?" he demanded, voice wavering as he shot a look over her shoulder.
Mabel's features soften in sympathy "Yeah, its just me, Bro-Bro." she pushed herself to her feet, wincing in pain. Ugh, she was going to be so bruised. At least purple was a pretty color. "You're safe."
"He tried to kill me. Ford tried to kill me."
Mabel bit her lip as his eyes filled with tears "Ah, Dipper." she sighed sympathetically, starting forward.
"MABEL, NO!"
She spun around in shock as Wendy burst through the trees, ax raised threateningly over her shoulder "You stay away from her." the redhead growled, glaring fiercely.
At Dipper.
"Wh-what?" Mabel glanced between them in confusion "Wendy, what's going on?"
"That thing is dangerous." Wendy growled, her unwavering glare making Dipper twitch nervously.
"No, it's Dipper." Mabel protested, feeling lost "Dipper's weird and obsessive, he's got noodle arms and sneezes like a kitten. He's not dangerous. "
"Mabel." Wendy's voice was pained, her face pinched "That's not Dipper. It's only pretending to be. It's a Wyndom. Their inter-dimensional parasites, like seriously bad news. That thing he was building? It's a Wyndo's Beacon. One of them followed your Grunkle through the portal. That's why Ford shot at him. Because he's seen them before. He's fought them before."
"What?" Mabel stared at the older teen with wide eyes.
Wendy's grip tightened on her ax "Mabel, you gotta believe me. Wyndom's send out scouts to find planets rich in resources and build their Beacons to lead others to it. These things eat planets."
"Mabel."
She turned back to Dipper. His back was pressed against a tree, expression terrified "Mabel, please don't listen to her." he begged desperately "It's Ford. He's lying. He tried to kill me remember. He knew how Stan would react."
"Stan?" Mabel repeated, her voice small and lost.
Dipper nodded desperately "You know how protective he is. Ford wouldn't stand a chance. He's trying to save his neck!"
"You're not Dipper." Mabel breathed
Not-Dipper flinched and stared at her in shock "Mabel?"
"You're not Dipper. You're not my brother. He'd never talk about our Grunkles that way!" She clenched her fists at her sides as a look of rage settled over her features "Where is he? What did you do with Dipper?!" she demanded, glaring at the whatever it was through her tears, and lunged forward "Tell me where he is!?" She screamed, fists raised.
'If he didn't tell her she'd beat it out of him! No body was going to take her brother from her!'
"Mabel no! Don't touch him!" Wendy screamed from behind her.
Vrroot!
A bright blue beam shot out out of the trees and struck Not-Dipper in the side, the force of the beam knocking him into some nearby bushes.
Startled, Mabel skidded to a halt and threw out her hands, barely able to stop herself from getting a face full of tree bark.
"Are you kids alright?"
Mabel turned to see Grunkle Ford emerge from the trees with his future gun in his hand and a pinched expression on his face.
But it was the undeniable concern in his eyes that made her fling herself into his arms.
Ford grunted in surprise and stumbled back slightly at suddenly finding himself with an armful of preteen as Mabel buried her head in his chest.
"Uh, easy now." he said, patting her awkwardly on the head
"Grunkle Ford," Mabel sobbed, clutching at his sweater as she looked up at him "Dipper . . . is . . . is he . . . ?"
"Your brother is fine." Ford assured her with an easy smile, for more comfortable imparting knowledge then giving comfort "The Wyndom need a living person to establish a psychic link which is critical to maintain the impersonation necessary to infiltrating the dimensions they intend to invade."
Mabel narrowed her eyes into a serious expression "I have no idea what that means." she declared then her eyes widened as some of what he said finally processed "You mean Dipper's okay?!" She exclaimed "Where is he?"
Ford narrowed his eyes as he rubbed his chin in thought "The Wyndom would have kept him close. Most likely somewhere in the forest around around the Mystery Shack."
"What are we waiting for?" Mabel exclaimed "We have to find him!"
"And we will." Wendy reassured her, stepping up to give her shoulder a comforting squeeze.
"We'll head back and enlist Stanley and young Soos for help in the search." Ford decided with a firm nod as he holstered his gun and headed off into the woods "Come along, Mabel. We'll find Dipper in no time."
Mabel bit her lip and glanced back ward the bushes where the Wyndum had disappeared.
"Gluuurrrrrrrrr!"
Thuk!
Mabel gasped as what looked like a monkey made out of boogers hit the ground in front of her with a splat, an ax buried deep in its skull.
"Got him." Wendy smirked as she slipped past her to wrench the ax from the creature's skull
"Good aim." Ford complimented her from the trees.
"Thanks." Wendy pulled her ax from the body with a slurping sound and gagged "Eck, that is so disgusting." she groused in revulsion.
"Its worse then Grunkle Stan's socks." Mabel agreed, wrinkling her nose.
"Come on, you two." Ford urged, turning away "The sooner we get back, the quicker we find Dipper."
Wendy and Mabel traded a quick look before following.
"How does the kid keep getting into these messes?" Stan groused in frustration as he picked his way through the forest "First that whole sock fiasco and now this. You'd think there was a target painted on his skinny back."
It had already been two days since Wendy and his idiot brother had returned to the Mystery Shack with Mabel after offing the inter-dimensional booger monkey. Ford had been firm in his assurances that Dipper was perfectly fine, they just had to find him.
Which was proving to be easier said then done.
The whole town had to be out searching for the kid by this point. He wasn't sure what good it would do them, though. Gravity Falls was populated by nothing but bleeding idiots who couldn't find their own rear ends with a road map. Much less a twelve year old hidden by an alien.
"Of all the crazy stupid-Gah!"
Stan cried out as the ground gave out beneath and he fell, landing in a mud-puddle with thud. Grimacing, he blinked up the tunnel to had fallen down at the little patch of sky visible above him. The square patch. This was a mine. Did he seriously just fall into an abandoned mine shaft "Well, that's just typical." he huffed and pushed himself to his feet as he assessed himself.
'Well, he was a little bruised but it could be worse.' he decided, wiping mud from his suit. A low groan echoed though the tunnel making him freeze, eyes widening in shock "Don't tell me this stupid mine's about to collapse." Stan huffed in annoyance "It'd be just my luck." he grumbled, lifting his gaze to take his first good look at his surroundings.
And his eyes widened in shock.
"Dipper!" he exclaimed, rushing to his nephew's side "Looks like my luck's finally turned around." he knelt and ran his gaze over the preteen in concern. The boy had been propped up against the wall of the mine. All in all he looked unharmed, just like Ford promised. If it weren't for the greenish film covering his mouth and nose Stan would have thought the kid had just picked the dumbest of all places to take a nap.
Speaking of which . . .
He shot his unconscious nephew a withering look "You owe me big time for this, kid." he grumbled. Bracing himself, he reached out and pealed the film from the kid's face "Gah, Sweet merciful Mimsy! it feels even worse then it looks!" he exclaimed and tossed it aside in disgust.
He shuddered and whipped his hand on the wall.
"That was too gross to be cool." he muttered
" . . .G'unkle?"
Stan blinked and looked down in surprise. He grinned at the sight of dazed brown eyes staring up at him "Hey ya, kiddo. How you feeling?"
"Sticky . . . an' tired." Dipper mumbled, giving him a slow blink.
"Probably just a side effect of being jumped by a booger monster." Stan shrugged with a wave of his hand "How about we get you back to the Shack, huh?"
"Hmm." Dipper murmured, eyes sliding back closed.
"And he's out like a light." Stan rolled his eyes "You'd think the kid was the one trekking though the ruddy forest for two days. Right then, come on you." he huffed and manhandled his nephew on to his back, pulling skinny arms over his shoulder and hiking bony knees up around his hips. He grunted and stumbled a bit as he rose to his feet "Geez, you're nothin' but a bony noodle, how the heck are you this heavy?" he demanded. Stan started down the tunnel. The kid definitely owed him now. Like massaging his feet and dinner in bed kind of owing. He round a corner and grinned at the sight of the mine entrance only a few feet in front of him, bright sunlight and the familiar woods laying just beyond "We'll be home soon, kid. Don't ya worry."
Mabel sighed and hugged Waddles a little closer as she followed her Grunkles up to the attic. Wendy and Soos were still outside, sending everyone home and thanking them for helping with the search. Mabel would have joined them. After all, being polite was one of the foundations of adorableness. But this was Dipper, her Bro-Bro. And he had just been rescued from a freaky slime ape. She wasn't going to leave his side.
She'd bake everyone Thank You cookies later.
Grunkle Ford took Dipper from Stan and laid the preteen in his bed before sitting down beside him.
"Hey, kiddo." Mabel glanced up to see Grunkle Stan staring down at her, his usually gruff features soft "Why don't ya take the pig and grab some grub or something."
She knew that tone. It wasn't really a suggestion. And yet . . . "Can't I stay?"
Stan frowned and glanced towards Ford who was checking Dipper's pulse his back to them.
"Please, Grunkle Stan?"
Stan sighed, relenting "Fine." he huffed "Go sit on your bed." Mabel gave a quick nod and hurried over to climb onto the pink sheets.
Stan moved to his twin's side and glanced down at his nephew in concern "How is he?"
Ford shot him a look over his shoulder "He's fine. Just like I told you."
"I don't know if you noticed but Dipper isn't exactly a light sleeper. Flies count more sheep then him."
"But fly's don't – Stanley, I can assure he's fine-" he broke off at the sound of a weak cough by his elbow and looked down to see Dipper struggling to sit up.
Ford placed a gentle but firm hand on Dipper's shoulder "Lay down, my boy." he urged "You need your rest."
Dipper shoved desperately at Ford's hands, deep hacking coughs shaking his form.
Then gagged.
"Mabel, get a bucket!" Stan snapped, shoving Ford aside.
Mabel leaped off her bed, grabbed the trash can from under the desk and shoved it into her Grunkle's hands.
Stan pulled Dipper forward so that his face was over the bucket, one hand on his back and another gripping his shoulder "Just hurl, kid."
Dipper gagged again then vomited into the bin. He was barely able the keep his head up but Stan made him rinse his mouth out, spiting into the trash can. He shoved the bin into Ford's hands "Go clean this out." he ordered.
Ford blinked and glanced into the trash can. His face paled, eyes widening in shock and he quickly scurried from the room.
Stan helped Dipper resettle himself on the bed, the preteen already out like a light.
"Grunkle Stan?"
He looked over his shoulder at his niece to find her sitting back on her bed, hugging her pig as she stared at her twin with wide, frightened eyes "Is Dipper going to be okay?"
"Ya heard my nerdy brother, didn't ya? He'll be find." Stan reassured her as he stood up.
Mabel just hugged Waddles a little closer, gazed not leaving her twin.
Stan sighed "Listen, Mabel, my brother is might not have the best bedside manner. I mean, he even makes me look good. While it drives me insane and makes me want to strangle him on an hourly basis, he's not wrong about these things."
"You promise?" she whispered, burying her face in her pig's pink neck.
"Sure, whatever."
Mabel held out her hand, pinky extended.
Stan stared at it like it was a grenade "Whoa, what is this? No. No way. I already promised ya, remember."
Watery brown eyes looked up at him over Waddles head and Stan felt his heart melt. Geez, those peepers should be illegal.
"Fine." He huffed and hooked his pinky with her's then slowly shook it up and down "Happy now?"
"Mmmm Hhmm." Mabel nodded
"Fantastic." Stan drawled, sarcasm thick enough to beat someone with "I'm going now." he turned on his heel and left the room, closing the door behind him.
"Stanley."
"Gah!" Stan jumped about a foot in the air and spun around to see Ford staring at him with his brows raised "Geez, Stanford, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
Ford's brow furrowed into a serious expression "Stanley, we need to talk."
"Yeah, I figured." Stan huffed in annoyance and brushed past him, heading downstairs "We'll talk in the basement." he decided. He pointedly ignored his twin following him as he made his way to the vending machine and typed in the code.
"AB1C3? Really?" Ford shot him a surprised look as the hidden door swung open.
Stan shot him a look of practiced innocence "What? Its not something I'm likely to forget. Which is a major issue at my age."
Ford's eyes widened in shock "The cabin we stayed in when our parents sent us to summer camp that one year? You really remember that?"
"It was a scarring experience." Stan deadpanned and turned away to head into the basement "You coming or what?"
Ford blinked and followed his twin down the stairs.
When they reached the observation room Stan dropped into the chair in front of the monitors and fixed his brother with a glare "Right, now start talking."
Ford blinked at his brother in confusion "About what, Stanley?"
"About those Windies or whatever you called them." Stan clarified
Ford let out a long suffering sigh and shoved his hands in his pockets "I already told you, the Wyndoms are a parasitic race that travel the multiverse eating planets."
Stan scowled "I get that. I'm not stupid, ya arrogant prick. I want to know if the kid's going to be okay."
His twin narrowed his eye in frustration "How many times do I have to tell you he'll be fine?"
"Dipper's barely able to keep his eyes open and he's barfing up worms. That doesn't sound like he's fine to me."
Ford shot him a troubled look "Do you honestly think I'd lie about this?" he demanded, shooting his brother a look. But Stan avoided his gaze and he let out another sigh "The physic link would have drained his energy. He probably won't even remember any of this. He'll sleep for a few day then be back to his old self." he reach out to give his twin's shoulder a comforting squeeze "I promise."
"Fine." Stan fixed him with a hard look "But you're demolishing that portal."
"What?! But – but Stanley-!"
Stan surged to his feet and loomed over his brother "But nothing. You said it was dangerous. Well, I agree. So you're getting rid of it."
Ford's eyes flicked desperately between Stan and the portal on the other side of the glass, protests on the tip of his tongue. His life's work -!
and yet . . .
he sighed in defeat as he relented "Fine. The world will be safer once its destroyed."
"Geez, you're such a drama queen." Stan rolled his eyes and brushed past him to back upstairs "Well, I'm heading to bed."
"Good night, Stanley." Ford said absently as he sat himself in front of the monitors, getting to work.
"Oh, and one thing."
Ford blinked and turned in surprise to see that Stan had paused in the doorway leading to the stairs, eyeing him with a sharp look "You stay away from those kids. I don't want to see you upstairs until your done. Because until that time you're nothin' but a danger to this family, you hear me?"
'My word, he sounds like Dad.' Ford thought to himself. But he knew his brother wouldn't respond favorably to such a comparison so he just nodded "Understood."
"Good." Stan's eyes flickered awkwardly "Well, get to it." with that he turned and headed back up the stairs, leaving his brother alone.
Ford watched him go with a guarded expression before turning back to his work. As loathe as he was to admit it, Stan was right. While Dipper would be alright – as he had repeatedly told everyone. He was the expert on these things. Had everyone forgotten that?! – The things he researched were too dangerous for children. As nice as it was when Dipper gave him that worshipful stare – it was also a bit creepy if he was being honest with himself, but it was mostly nice – the boy would be safer if he stayed far away. And so he would. He would stay far away.
- Epilogue -
"And then the slime monkey went 'Glarrrr!" Mabel said, jumping up in her chair and curling fingers into claws and baring her teeth "And leaped out of the bushes. Wendy took her ax and went 'fwing!'" she mimed throwing "Hitting it right in noggin. Bullseye! And it went splat!" she grabbed her toast and threw it back down on her plate, causing grape jelly and sprinkles to go flying "Yucky all over the ground."
"Hey, careful!" Grunkle Stan protested "Your getting sprinkles on my old person food!"
Dipper chuckled a little nervously and as he wiped a glob of jelly from his cheek "Well, that explains what happened to the yard. Sorry, I missed it." he gave his cereal a stir and took a bite. In all honesty, the last thing he remembered was heading up to the roof to blow off some steam after the Grunkles finished telling their story then a shadow hovering over him. The next thing he knew he was waking up to Waddles in doctor's scrubs and an unnervingly gentle Stan hovering over him. He took a bite of his cereal and glanced between Mabel and Stan "So what are we doing today?"
Stan pointed his fork at him "You aren't doing anything, kid. You still need your rest. Plus the Shack still needs to be rebuilt. I swear its like Wendy and Soos didn't fix anything."
Mabel blinked at up him "They didn't."
"What!?" Stan exclaimed shooting to his feet "Then what am I paying those kids for?!"
"You don't pay them at all." Dipper reminded him
"Oh yeah." Stan sat back down "Well, I'm exhausted. What do you kids say we just laze around the shack today, huh?"
Mabel grinned, eyes wide with excitement "Lazy Wednesday is a go!" she crowed, punching the air.
"But its Tuesday." Dipper pointed
"Lazy Tuesday is a go!" she gasped in excitement "I can finally find out how many ways you can eat a bag of Cheese Boodles. This day is going to be epic!" she declared and jump out of her seat, racing into the kitchen.
"She does understand what 'lazy' means right?" Stan deadpanned, staring after his niece.
Dipper shot him a grin "Its a mystery." he laughed, earning an amused eye roll from his Grunkle.
All things considered, it was just another day in Gravity Falls.