"You still miss him don't you?" Lupin asked taking a seat next to the distraught Sirius black.
Sirius looked up at his old friend and remembered a happier time. Lupin looked thin and ragged he was getting worse and worse each time he came.
Lupin raised his eyebrows waiting for an answer that never came. Sirius looked back at the pensive by his feet. He took out his wand and started to prod the silvery memories that floated lazily across the surfaces.
"Don't you?" Sirius asked prodding a random memory. James laughing face drifted to the top and Lupin watched it sink back.
"Always" he whispered, thinking of his treasured time in Hogwarts.
"I wish we could go back and….."Sirius trailed off "if I knew we would have had such a small time together I definitely wouldn't have wasted my time with lessons"
Lupin laughed softly. It had been a while since he last laughed his throat felt coarse and his mouth hurt. It had been a tough day underground and he wished they could go back too. Back to his friends, back to his youth, back to that unrivalled feeling of protection the castle provided, and away from this life.
He missed the old life as much as his friend but he knew there were no way back, no way to undo the past and no way to fix what had been broken. He glance again at Sirius, Sirius had been broken trapped for a crime he did not commit, hated by the world he tried to protect and abandoned by a brother he would die for. Sirius could never be fixed, and Lupin could never find a way to lessen his heart break no matter how much he tried. He saw Sirius around harry, he saw the way Sirius looked at him as if it were James, as if it could all go back to the way it was before.
"There's no way to relive the past" Lupin warned his friend "we must stay strong for the future...for Harry."
Sirius looked at Lupin his eyes still dead and haunted but Lupin could see past it into his soul he could see the pain and sorrow Sirius carried with him….would always carry with him.
"For Harry" he repeated his grey eyes locked with Lupin brown ones. Lupin was fixed he couldn't look away. Sirius stood up and hugged Lupin, his arms felt strange and limp wrapped around Lupin's fragile frame.
Sirius was broken... they both were.