AN: This is just an idea I got from the song Things I'll Never Say by Avril Lavigne. I wanted to make it a song-fic, but once I started writing I decided not to try and mess with that. I don't think I'm particularly good at song-fics anyway.
Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom or my inspiration song Things I'll Never Say.
She was nervous, but that almost went without saying. Going back now was bittersweet, but she really wanted to do it anyway. Going back meant seeing him. But Sam didn't know how she could avoid it any longer. For five years she had been ignoring the high school reunion invitation. It was all because of him too. Sam had thought, at graduation, she would admit to him what she had been feeling since freshman year. She did it, but made a complete idiot out of herself in the process. He had just given her a look of stunned disbelief and never answered her. When she'd run away with tears in her eyes, he had tried to follow. But Sam hadn't wanted to hear him say the words she knew he was going to say: 'I'm sorry, I don't love you back.' She wouldn't hear those words come out of his mouth. As long as she didn't, she could feel like there was still a sliver of hope.
And now she stood, a beautiful woman of twenty-two years, putting the necklace Danny Fenton had given her around her neck. Yes, of course he was the one she loved. And he didn't love her back. It always works that way, doesn't it? Sam stared at her refection in the full body mirror in her hotel room. She was able to manage a grim smile at the way she looked. Sam had never thought she was pretty. And she knew she'd be messing with her hair and dress all night and that would ruin the whole thing. But Sam couldn't help when she was nervous.
Danny Fenton checked the clock on the wall of his bedroom and straightened his tie one last time.
"You look fine little brother." His older sister Jazz walked into the room as he messed with his tie. Then she laughed. "Well at least everything but your hair looks fine." Danny smiled. His hair was as messy as it had been in his high school days. Jazz gave Danny a look-over.
He wore a pair of crisp, black dress pants and a white dress shirt. He still held the red tie that he wore on his neck, fidgeting with it. Danny was getting frustrated with the tie; he couldn't get it comfortable. Danny was still taking classes to become an astronaut and therefore never had to dress up. He sighed, deciding that ties were his mortal enemies. Aside from ghosts that is, but that's a totally different story.
"Do you still have it?" Jazz asked, changing the subject. Danny nodded.
"I've kept it safe for the past year Jazz, but I'm bringing it with me this time. Something tells me this is the year…" He trailed off.
"Let's get going then ok?" Danny nodded again, his head full of thoughts of what he was going to attempt to do tonight.
Sam parked her car as near to the school as she could manage. There was no way she was going to walk very far in heels. The young woman saw a familiar van; the van Danny's parents had designed for ghost hunting, in the parking lot. Her stomach did flip-flops once again, for now she couldn't try to convince herself he might not be there. Sam got out of the car and started walking into the school with a mixture of eagerness and hesitation.
"Sam?" A disbelieving, almost hopeful, voice called from her side as she entered the gym. Sam recognized the voice of the speaker.
"Hey, Tucker." She answered, smiling at the boy. It was a genuine smile. Sam had messed the dark-skinned tech geek. Tucker hurried over to her and hugged her tightly.
"We thought you'd never come back to Amity." He said, holding her at arms length. "You're beautiful." He acknowledged with a wink. Sam smiled appreciatively. "I thought you'd never get rid of that half pony-tail or the combat boots."
"I've found that heels are just as painful." Sam told Tucker warningly. But she ran a hand through her hair thoughtfully. "I guess I was just ready for something new with my hair though."
"Like I said, you look good. Much better than me anyway." The pair laughed, but Sam had to admit that Tucker had shaped up to be pretty handsome. Gone were the glasses that had always marked him as a geek, and his hair wasn't shaved to his scalp anymore.
"You said 'we thought you'd never come back'." Sam reminded Tucker of what he'd said when he had greeted her.
"Me and Danny, of course." Tucker answered. "Do you want to see him?"
"Uhm… I'd just soon let him find me." Tucker nodded.
"I understand. I won't tell him I've seen you, but gods Sam, he's missed you. You disappeared right after graduation without as much as a phone call or letter."
"That's not true." Sam replied defiantly.
"Are you referring to the, oh I don't know, two sentence note you left in Danny's mailbox?" Sam flushed guiltily.
"I just, I just needed some time to get over what had happened at graduation."
"It took you five years to get over that?" Tucker asked, and with that he left. Sam stood defeated, halfway across the gym staring after him.
"What have you been up to?" Danny asked as Tucker rejoined him.
"Ah, um, just looking for people we know. Jazz looks great in green, you know." Tuck babbled, trying to sound casual.
"You've always been a bad liar, Tuck." Danny said, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"Why would I lie about Jazz looking nice in green?" The young man asked innocently. Danny rolled his eyes.
"Whatever, Tuck. But you know I'm going to find out what you were lying about soon enough."
"Hopefully soon enough." Tucker muttered under his breath.
He and Danny made their way over to the buffet that was laden with snacks for the reunites to enjoy. Tucker glanced around looking for Sam, and found that she was standing in a corner with a glass of wine. She swirled the wine around in the glass distractedly, taking a sip every now and then. Tucker hoped that Danny would think to ask about her soon, but at the same time he didn't want to be part of what might be a bad reunion.
"Well, well, well this is a surprise." A Latino voice called from behind Sam. "I thought you'd never come back after the rejection you faced at graduation."
Sam turned to see Paulina standing right behind her. However, it wasn't the same Paulina Sam remembered. Paulina had definitely gained some weight and had some plastic surgery. Her face looked too hard and her lips too puffy. But she still had that same, annoying accent and the same frilly, pink dress she'd worn to their freshman dance. The dress fit her in all the wrong places these days, and accented her extra weight. It took all Sam had not to burst out laughing at the sight of her.
"Paulina," Sam said nodding. She hoped that if she pretended to be uninterested in her, Paulina would go away. But that wasn't happening.
"Poor little Sam," she went on snidely. "I guess girls like you will never get what they want. The real world doesn't like to accept freaks anymore than our high school did."
Sam turned calmly to Paulina and said;
"Did you get what you wanted, Paulina? Let me guess, you did but now that you have it you've decided it's not as great as you thought it would be. You've probably been married, had a kid or two, and divorced in the past five years. You're working a cheap job and you live in a crappy house trying to support your kids because you're ex-husband is an ass and won't help. Your parents are ashamed of you and won't help either.
"All of your friends have turned on you and stabbed you in the back. Now, you have no one. Now you're wishing you were one of the high school freaks because maybe your life might have turned out for the better if you hadn't been so damn full of yourself as a teenager." Paulina stared at Sam in disbelief. Sam could tell many of her predictions were true and that she was getting to the once-called diva.
"Well, you know, you know what you are Sam Manson? You're a bitch!" Paulina stormed away from Sam, her eyes glassy. Sam shrugged to herself. Everything she had said to Paulina was the truth, after all.
Sam was getting restless and decided to move about the gym. She had changed so much in the past five years that most of the people that didn't know her well didn't recognize her. That saved Sam conversations with jocks like Dash and Kwan who would only torment her like Paulina had tried to. The jocks weren't worth Sam's time. But there was someone who did recognize her. A pretty girl with long, wavy hair wearing a sliver dress walked up to Sam, and put her hand on her shoulder.
"Long time no see, Sam."
"You have no idea how sick I am of hearing that." Sam said with amusement. "How have you been, Valerie?"
"Not bad, not bad at all. College was hell, but since I've gotten my job it's been cool. But still, damn those deadlines!" Valerie told Sam all about how she'd gone to school to become a photographer. In addition to visiting old friends, Valerie was taking pictures at the reunion for a local magazine as well as her website. Valerie ended her little spiel with;
"So what have you been up to, Sam? You're looking great, whatever it is." Sam smiled.
"That's what Tucker said." Valerie nodded. "You're not still going out with him are you?" Sam asked. She wasn't one for gossip, but love was an important part to her friends' lives and she felt she should catch up.
"Nah, not anymore. We lasted a good, fun two years but Tucker finally realized what a huge crush he had on Jazz." Sam laughed.
"Jazz?! I would have never guessed."
"No one would have." Then Valerie added, "Danny's never been out with anyone though. I mean, not really. He's gone on a few dates but I think he's saved his heart for a certain… someone." Valerie made this last word sound all suggestive. Sam felt her heart slip a few notches.
"You obviously didn't see what happened at graduation."
"Oh no, I saw it all, girl. And that's given me all the more reason to think he still likes you. Even after, you know, five years of you being MIA. Danny never told you he didn't like you back Sam, you jumped to conclusions."
"He never said he did like me back either."
"You didn't give him time." Valerie said calmly. "He's here tonight though, and I can't let you go without seeing him."
"Oh boy," Sam said, downing the last of her wine. When Valerie said she was going to do something, that something would be done.
"Hey, Tuck." Danny tapped his friend on the shoulder. Tucker turned away from his food to look at Danny.
"Yeah?" He replied.
"Who's that girl in the black dress talkin' to Valerie?" Tucker almost choked.
"Don't remember her." He forced out. The truth was he knew perfectly well it was Sam. Tuck was shocked that Danny didn't recognize her, but then again, Sam's back was turned to them.
"Valerie knows her." Danny pointed out.
"You act like that means I should know her too. C'mon Danny, I was Valerie's boyfriend for two years; I didn't have time to meet every single one of her friends."
But then, Sam turned around and Danny got a good look at her face. He knew her immediately. Her hair had changed, she'd gotten taller and filled out, but that didn't make any difference to him. Danny couldn't help but think she was more beautiful than ever. She was wearing a black dress made out of some stretchy material. It was gathered along her torso in a few different sections. It made her figure stand out very well. Sam's hair was now down to her shoulders and cut very differently. It had layers that Danny could see even from his distance. She had parted her hair to the side and allowed her bangs to sweep down and cover a lot of her forehead.
But mostly it was her eyes that were holding him in his place. She'd outlined them with a thick line of black eyeliner. She had also brushed on slivery, purple eye-shadow. The effect was to make her eyes stand out above everything else.
"Uh, dude, are you ok?" Danny suddenly realized Tucker was waving a hand in front of his face.
"Tucker, that girl… its Sam!" Danny shook his head. "No, that woman is Sam."
"It took you long enough to notice she was here."
"You knew?! You knew and you didn't fucking tell me?" Danny was, well, he was pretty much going ballistic. He had to fight the urge not to run over to her and hug her and kiss her senseless. He'd missed her that damn much. Danny hurried across the gym, pushing people aside, desperate to get to Sam. Tucker was right behind him.
"Dude, you need to calm down a bit." Tuck said, grabbing Danny's shoulder. They stopped halfway across the gym. Danny was breathing hard.
"If you run at her like this you'll scare her." Tuck advised. Danny sighed.
"I guess you're right." Sam had turned back to Valerie and started talking to her once more.
"There will be a time for you to let your emotions go wild because you've seen her again. Now is probably not the best time." Danny had stopped listening to Tucker. He'd started to walk towards Sam at a normal pace. He already knew what he was going to say. He could even almost picture what Sam's reaction would be. Danny neared the place where Sam and Valerie stood. Valerie made eye contact with Danny over Sam's shoulder.
"What are you looking at Valerie?" Sam asked, starting to turn around.
She didn't get a chance. Danny wrapped his arms around her before she even knew what was happening. She struggled for a second before Danny spoke.
"Five years is too long, Sam." He whispered in her ear. Sam shivered. She recognized his voice. She recognized his smell. She recognized everything about him as though they were still high school friends. Sam took a deep breath and turned to face Danny as he released her.
"I'm sorry. I know that's probably not good enough for you, but it'll have to be for right now. I'm ready to talk to you about it, but not here. I'll tell you all about it eventually." Sam said, addressing Danny, Valerie, and Tucker with her last sentence. Danny smiled gently and said;
"Are you wearing the necklace I gave you in our sophomore year?" That really lightened the mood. Sam just nodded, feeling somewhat shell-shocked.
The rest of the reunion passed in a blur. Sam spent most of the time just walking around the gym with Tucker, Danny, and Valerie. She had unconsciously clung to Danny's hand after he'd released her from his hug, and he'd made no attempt to make her let go. Sam remembered eating with the three and even dancing with Danny and Tucker. But she didn't really remember what they had talked about… or agreeing to go with Danny to the park. She wondered if she'd even agreed to go in the first place.
"Jazz," Danny was standing with Sam and his sister outside the school. "I'm taking Sam to the park with me."
"Oh, hello Sam, that sounds fine to me." Jazz smiled at the pair. She didn't seem surprised that Sam had come back. "I knew you would come back one day. Nobody ever gives my intuitiveness credit." Jazz rolled her eyes. "Anyway, would you like me to drive your car to our house Sam?"
"Uhm, ok?" Sam wasn't very sure what was going on, but she reached in her purse and pulled out her car keys. Jazz took them with a comforting smile.
"You're in a little bit of shock right now. It'll all be ok, I'm sure Danny will see to that." She winked at them and disappeared into the parking lot.
Danny and Sam started walking towards the Fenton-mobile.
"You've been really quiet." Danny said his hand in hers once more.
"Jazz is right Danny; I'm in a little bit of shock. I mean, I knew I'd have to see all of you guys when I made up my mind to come here. What I didn't realize was all the emotions it would stir up in me. Now I felt like a totally idiot and bitch for leaving."
"Well," Danny began, walking slower so they could continue their conversation longer. "Jazz probably understands it better than I do, but you needed to start over. Those are best words I can use to describe what I think you needed to do. You needed to get over what had happened at graduation and think about what had happened during our high school years. I guess a lot of the things you thought about… were put there by me." Sam made to protest, but Danny shook his head. "I got you evolved in the whole ghost thing and that's not something a normal teenage girl has to deal with. But on top of that you also had to deal with me in general. It drives so many girls crazy when they fall in love with their best friend, but I think I made it worse than normal for you.
"I was infatuated with Paulina for a lot of our freshman year. That must have been tough on you. Then it was Valerie. And then I was too blind to notice you liked me as much as you did. Maybe if I had I, we…" Danny broke off.
Their conversation paused as they got in the car and Danny drove them to the park. After they had parked they got out and picked a path to start walking on. Danny waited politely for Sam to pick up their conversation where he had left it. Sam took a deep breath and did just that.
"You're right about me needed to start over, but it was also a chance to recharge and figure out what I was gonna do with my life. I'm now writing for a magazine. I analyze what other people have written and try to detect the truth amidst all the lies that are supposed to comfort the general public. But I guess that's not really what I want to talk about right now.
"I never complained about helping you Danny, not even in my head. It was…fun in a messed up way. I cared about you enough not to give a damn whether my life was in danger or not every time I helped with the ghosts. Hell," Sam said suddenly, "These heels are killing me." She stopped to take her shoes off and looped the straps around her finger. Then she continued.
"The biggest thing I needed to get over was all the emotions other people had caused me to feel. Worthlessness, shame, rejection, doubts; these were all killing me inside. But I didn't feel like my problems were important enough compared to yours to worry about. Anyway, graduation… I don't really know what to say about that."
Danny had been quietly listening to Sam's confession as they walked along his hand holding hers.
"Let me talk about graduation then." Danny said. Sam nodded. "I never meant to make you feel rejected, Sam. Quite the opposite in fact. I was just so shocked that you felt the same way as me that I couldn't say anything. And, in retrospect, maybe my ego was hurt a little bit by the fact that you had the courage to tell me first."
Sam laughed.
"You've gotten a lot better at talking to me since high school." She told him. "We never talked like this in school."
"I've grow up quite a bit too." Danny replied childishly. "And besides, I've been planning on doing a lot more than talk about my feelings with you." Sam gave Danny a questioning look. She had no clue what he was talking about.
Danny let go of Sam's hand and put his hand into his pocket. Sam had seen him unconsciously patting this pocket every now and then while they were at the reunion, but she'd had too much on her mind to wonder what it was. She was about to find out. Danny pulled a small, black velvet covered box from inside his pocket. He took Sam's hand again… and knelt down on one knee. Sam dropped her heels as he took a deep breath and began talking.
"Sam, I know you might think I'm crazy for asking you to do this since we haven't seen or heard from each other in five years, but I decided about two years ago this is what I want to do. I've wanted to do it so badly it hurt to know that I wouldn't be able to on my own time. But still… Sam," He flipped the lid of the box open. "Will you marry me?"
Sam's free hand went to her heart. She bit her lip as tears started to form in her eyes. She was beaming.
"Yes, of course I will."
Danny stood up and wrapped his arms around Sam, kissing her deeply. Sam kissed him back, the tears falling down her cheek as she closed her eyes to kiss Danny. When they pulled away, Danny wiped the tears off her cheeks.
"You're still the same as I remember; only you've become the most beautiful woman I've ever met."
"Don't lie to me." Sam said, but she laughed as she said it. Danny shook his head, also smiling.
"I would never lie to you." They were silent until Sam laid her head on Danny's chest. He held her close to him.
"I love you Sam Manson."
"I love you too, Danny." She replied looking up to him. "But I'm not Sam Manson anymore, I'm Sam Fenton." Danny chuckled and his smiled grew, if it were possible, even larger.
"That's right… that's right." He nodded as if he were repeating it over in his head just to hear how perfect it sounded again and again. And, on their wedding day, everyone agreed that they were just meant to be.