Hey everyone! Just for the record, this one shot is just supposed to be humorous. Or, my attempt at humor, I should say. I'll try and mention every popular pairing to appease everyone, but sorry if I miss one you like!

Also, this is kind of in an alternate universe...? They're around the age they are in Shippuden but Sasuke is back in the village.

Also, this is in Naruto's point of view!

Anyway,

Love Games

I have had something on my mind lately. It's been itching at me every time the whole gang gets together. The topic just dawned on me. On television, in the movies, the books, even Kakashi-sensei's Make-Out Tactics stories - that book is chop full of it. Every time in a series when there's a group of people, romance always tags along with it. Always hearing and seeing and reading about love has really made me think about the couples in our own little gang.

I don't want to start muttering to myself again, but it's been months since all of Konoha 12 - now 13, with the edition of Sai - has been able to sit down and have a get-together. But tonight we've all managed to flock into Konoha at the same time, each of us returning from training sessions or full-blown missions. So here I am sitting at the end of a table with all of my closest friends together, mingling and laughing and eating and enjoying each other's company. It's really getting me thinking.

For example, my relationship - or lack thereof...? - with Sakura. She's sitting to the left of me, laughing with Ino who hasn't taken her eyes of Sasuke since he's come back into the village. He's sitting quietly to my right, staring down at his plate as if he has a vendetta against it. He probably does. He has a vendetta against almost everything. Anyway, back to Sakura. I have no clue where I stand with her. She acts like she hates me, says she loves Sasuke, but every now and then stares at me blushing or hugs me, acting like she's all in love with me. I know I'm in love with her, but I just don't always know if she loves me back.

And then there's Shikamaru. He's sitting between Ino and Temari, which is ironic because he seems to be bouncing between the two every other day anyway. It's pretty apparent Temari likes Shikamaru. I mean, she travels three days from her own home village to Konoha just to hang out with him, but I can't tell if he likes her or Ino more. My theory is this: Choji likes Ino and Shikamaru knows that, so he backs off. But then again there's the fact that Ino loves Sasuke so it's a lost cause anyhow...or is it? Temari's always smiling and sparring with Shikamaru, but Ino's more caring and loveable. And she lives closer to Shikamaru than Temari does. Almost right down the street, actually.

And then there's Team Gai and Team Kurenai. It's pretty apparent Neji and Tenten have something going on. They're always "training" alone together and let me tell you, no one in this village but those two train more than I do. I'd be suspicious.

I felt the sting of two fingers pinching my inner thigh and I threw my head back and grunted in pain, probably sounding like an idiot. I immediately shot a glare towards Sasuke, who was trying to conceal his devilish smirk.

"What was that for?" I muttered through gritted teeth.

He let out the smallest of shrugs. "You were glaring over at Neji and Tenten. It looked odd."

Ugh. Sasuke. He's almost as complicated to decipher as Hinata. I don't know about her. She's pretty. And a good fighter. She says she's in love with me but I don't know how I feel about that. Maybe she just got caught up in the moment when she said it. After all, she was in the middle of a battle with Pain. Maybe she had an adrenaline rush?

Hinata looked over at me with wide eyes and blushing cheeks. I looked back towards Sasuke so she wouldn't get the wrong idea. I hope I haven't given her the wrong idea before. I feel my cheeks getting flushed.

But then what about the other love? The awkward love that includes people pulling a gay hook-up? People still talk about that time me and Sasuke kissed. That's disturbing. It was in the Academy people! Can we move on?

...Wait. If so many girls throw themselves at Sasuke, why doesn't he even look twice at them? Why is Sai staring at Sasuke? ...Why is Sasuke staring back? Oh wait, he's just rolling his eyes. Typical Sasuke. Well, at least Sai and him weren't actually having a moment. Now that would be weird. It's better than Sai and Shino though- actually no, that's so sick it might work. But if they get married I really hope I'm not the best man. Wait- who would be the bride and who'd be the groom? ...Sai would be the bride. ...Hell, I hope I'm not invited.

Sasuke looked over at me and I must have been gazing at him for a while because he shot me a glare. "Quit staring at me," he ordered. As if he can control me.

"Make me," I retorted, sticking my tongue out at him.

"You're a child," he responded coolly. I stuck it out further.

Well, whatever the couples are, whatever odd shenanigans and romantic rendezvous' my friends get into with people and with each other, I hope they're all happy.

"The only one I care about is me and her," I sighed dreamily, picturing the beautiful pink-haired Sakura falling into my arms. "I'd sure love to lay one on her." Kiba coughed awkwardly. My eyes shot open and greeted twelve pairs of eyes staring at me as if I had two heads.

"What?" I asked casually. "I was thinking about Madara."

"You were just thinking about "laying one" on Madara..?" Ino clarified. I slapped my forehead. Out of all the names I know, why did my mind choose that name?

I looked around at the puzzled eyes surrounding me, chuckling nervously. I sheepishly scratched the back of my head and stood up, slowly backing out of the room.

It wasn't until I was outside of the restaurant until I finished my thought process.

"Lee and Itachi. Now that's a weird one."