Disclaimer: Don't own!
A/N: I'm not really sure how Austin Tucker went from Badass Bad Boy to Kaylie Cruz's Personal Chair. He's so useless this season so I'm making use of him. Also, I love all the Lauren/Payson stuff going on. New imaginary OT3 = The blondes and the Bad Boy.
Warning: This was quick & dirty - how I like my oneshots. Meaning: unedited.
Middle Ground
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Austin reaches over and slaps his hand against the top button of his alarm, shutting out the noise. The bed across the room is already empty, neatly made. Nicky Russo is always an early riser. Determination (and cortisone) run through him and keeps the worn and torn pieces of his body intact. He's always reaching, grabbing, pushing while Austin's always holding on, stabilizing, making it through by the skin of his teeth.
The first thing Austin sees when he opens his eyes is the framed photo of Kaylie on his bedside table. She's wearing pink and the backdrop is a garden and she has the prettiest smile. It makes him smile back. Makes him giddy. Makes him want to fight. To be there for her or, in the very least, be there with her. Austin might have had his doubts right after Worlds, but they've come a long way. Honestly, this relationship stuff is a piece of cake.
He whistles as he walks to the dining hall. There's a line that snakes along the serving station. Lauren Tanner is at the very back of it and she does not seem pleased whatsoever.
"I just want a freaking refill! Is that so much to ask for?" Lauren shouts. To no one in particular, talking aloud, maybe just to herself. People give her looks, but she doesn't acknowledge them at all.
Hands tucked behind his back, Austin leans over her shoulder, near her ear. He whispers just as a contrast to how she's practically screaming. "Not a morning person, huh?"
"Not when it feels like the whole world is out to piss me off," she replies. Crossing her arms, the blonde huffs and gives him a sideward glance. "So, how's your girlfriend?"
"Still not talking to each other, huh?"
"She has no one to blame, but herself. I don't know why she went digging into other people's business and had to call me out about something that didn't even involve her."
"You and Payson know that Kelly Parker's the one who—"
Lauren laughs her Wicked Witch of the West laugh and tilts her head back to give him a smile that's full of pity. "Nothing's ever Kaylie's fault, is it? But why am I asking you? You're puppy trained to say yes."
Lauren faces forward. Conversation over.
Austin narrows his eyes some, watches as Lauren uncrosses her arms and shakes out her hands. He's seen her do it a couple times before. He's about to tell her that maybe a refill is the last thing she needs when something in the room changes. Everything seems to slow down. Even the air tastes different. Someone shouts Lauren's name and Austin turns to see Payson shoving furniture and people aside, nearly sprinting, but she's too far away.
He faces forward when he hears this sighing sound and he watches as Lauren spills to the side, hands feeling for anything she can hold onto, her knees buckling beneath her. Before her body crashes to the ground, Austin quickly reaches out for her and lets her fall back against his chest. He cradles her in his arms, confused, stunned.
"Tanner, are you okay?" Austin asks anxiously. Obviously not, but it's natural to ask. When a sharp-tongued girl doesn't answer with the seconds, just sort of whimpers, leaning back into him, Austin gulps loudly, fucking terrified. "Lauren!"
"What happened?" Payson runs up, out of breath, immediately reaching out to steady her friend, who blinks repeatedly and gets back to her shaky feet. In a low, deadly voice, Payson asks, "Again?"
"What again?" Austin demands to know.
"Hypoglycemia," Lauren answers. Austin narrows his eyes, unconvinced. It was too quick, too automatic, like his sister when someone would ask her if she already ate. "I'm fine. If this damn line weren't so long…"
"Are you sure?" Austin asks. He turns to Payson, knowing he isn't getting shit out of Lauren. That's a given. Payson looks away at his attempted eye contact. She isn't too good at hiding her feelings. It's what's most endearing about her and also what makes her weak.
"Fine," Lauren answers.
"Why don't you go sit down and I'll get you your refill?" Payson volunteers. Lauren grumbles, but agrees, slowly walking back to their table. Cup in hand, Payson nervously fidgets in line in front of Austin.
"What was that really about, Pay?"
"Nothing, Austin. Like Lauren said, she's fine."
Though he doesn't push, Austin is far from convinced. He's curious.
…
She cries almost as much as she tries to pray. Payson catches her almost every time.
Tucked away in a corner of the TC after dark, Lauren lets the tears tumble down her cheeks and lets her lip quiver, but she doesn't let herself make a sound. She found this quiet little spot, somewhere Payson or anyone else wouldn't look to find her. Payson texts her, asking where she is and Lauren texts back to tell her she's okay, but never tells her where. This is her place and hers only.
"Why so upset?"
Well, it used to be hers and hers only. Damn it, Austin.
Lauren brings the back of her hand to her cheeks, smearing the streaks down and sniffling.
"Volleyball team or fencing?" Austin asks. "Which guy am I kicking the crap outta for you?"
Lauren fails to notice his humor, firmly keeps her back to him. "Allergies, actually," she replies.
"You want to tell me what's going on?"
"Go away, Austin." Her voice is rougher than usual, less of its usual sexy rasp and sadder. She hates observing things like that about herself. Lauren takes a second to wonder if he notices too. "If Kaylie told you to keep tabs on me—"
"I don't know if you know this or not, but Kaylie doesn't control me," Austin argues. "I haven't called her Fräulein Cruz in a while." He nervously laughs at himself.
"Just during the creepy, dominatrix role play," Lauren tacks on. She slowly leaves the teary eyes behind and gets her quick-witted rhythm back. She refuses to face Austin, but she can feel him getting closer.
He laughs gently. "You know the answer to that one."
They haven't had sex yet. Obviously.
"Forgive me if I'm not convinced," Lauren says. "If not playing ex-bestie spy for Kaylie then why do you keep trying to talk to me?"
"I don't know if you realize this or not, but you fainted in my arms—"
"Fainted in your arms? Careful, Tuck, that sounds almost romantic," Lauren says. "And didn't I tell you—"
"I've met better liars than you, Lauren Tanner. Hell, I am one."
Lauren just huffs and marches off without rebuttal. She doesn't even know why Austin cares. He surely didn't when he was trying to get Max out of her black widow web. Maybe it would've been better if he didn't catch her, if he just let her fall. White Knight Syndrome, Lauren decides. And Austin's got it bad.
…
Payson isn't weak, just weakened.
What's going on with Lauren, it's draining to deal with and think about on a day-to-day basis. What's even worse is that she doesn't have anyone besides Lauren to confide in. No parents here. No Sasha. Not even her sweet, goofy Rigo. Payson is all uptight (or, well, more than usual) and lost in herself. So, when Austin volunteers his services once again, she agrees.
"Are you sure this is supposed to be helpful, Austin?"
"Of course. And it's called guided relaxation," he explains. They're both lying parallel on her dorm room floor with yoga mats beneath them, palms up position. "I do this after every icing."
"Where'd you learn this?"
"YouTube."
"That's it!" Payson quickly sits up and Austin does the same.
"Payson, you're supposed to be concentrating on your breathing."
"Austin." The blonde looks at him very seriously and it's very Payson Keeler-brand adorable. She figures because he smiles at her like he doesn't take her seriously and is seconds away from calling her cute. "What's this about?"
He shrugs innocently. "I might have overheard you telling Lauren that she needs to relax more and I wanted to help?" Payson's expression softens like she's looking at a puppy. In a more serious tone, Austin asks, "What's really going on with her, Pay?"
Payson is ready to crack. Austin must see it. Payson feels her eyes get big and her bottom lip slightly shake. It's fear. Not of what Lauren will say if she blabs, but fear of what might happen if she stays quiet—the unknown. Then Lauren walks in through the door and looks between them.
"Don't stop because of little ol' me," Lauren says, sitting on her bed. "You two look like you're having fun."
"Guided relaxation," Payson says. She recomposes herself. Austin's expression screams shucks. He almost had her. Focusing on Lauren, Payson smiles a little. "At least he wasn't making cat sounds like last time."
Lauren smiles big. Like nothing is wrong. She's gifted like that. "Payson told me about your kinky cat fetish. Do you let Kaylie pull you around on a pink, rhinestone-encrusted leash and collar while getting in the mood?"
Payson blushes even when she should be used to Lauren saying things like that, shamelessly alluding to sex. She does it all the time. Austin would probably find that cute too, but he's too busy narrowing his eyes at Lauren.
"How do you go around, pretending everything is fine when it isn't?" he asks.
Lauren is clearly caught off-guard and her face shows it. "You lost me. What are you talking about?"
"The fainting. The crying. You really expect me to see you like that and turn a blind eye?"
Lauren glares. "You and Kaylie really are the golden couple. The similarities are uncanny. You both don't know what's your business and what isn't. Fyi, Austin, this is none of yours so get off my back!"
They shout back and forth for a while, Payson sitting between them, not even trying to stop them. She's smart enough to know there's no point. When you take two people with two intense personalities and put them in a ring, bloodshed and bruises are unavoidable. Payson sits and lets them fight it out, watching as they tug and tear just to get nowhere.
It ends with Austin on the other side of their door and the door begging slammed in his face. Payson's ready to make her opinion heard, but as if reading her mind, Lauren snaps, "Don't even think about it, Pay!" and repeatedly kicks at one of the yoga mats.
…
It surprises Austin when Lauren is the one to approach him after their argument. Not to apologize. No. Hell no would Lauren Tanner apologize to Austin Tucker. Never. It isn't without purpose, though. He's sitting on a bench on the patio and Lauren sits beside him. Austin eyes her, raises his eyebrows in question, but she stays facing forward.
"I hope you're happy," Lauren says. "After you went all Godzilla in the TC the other night, Payson is extra paranoid. We're so close to the Olympics, Austin, and the last thing any of us need is unnecessary stress."
"Unnecessary stress? Lauren, it's your health."
"I'm not here to talk about my health. I just want Payson to stop worrying. You started this. You need to fix it."
"Why is she so worried? What's going on with you?"
"I—I don't know."
"What do you mean—"
"I mean, I saw the nutritionist, she told me to eat more of those stupid Healthy Bars and I should be fine. I followed orders, but I'm still having these little dizzy spells and the numbness in my hands." It clicks. Lauren sighs. Like talking to him is a chore or an annoyance. Or maybe hiding her fear is. "Payson has it in her head that it's something more…serious."
"I'm with Payson on this one," Austin says. "You should see a real doctor. Once you know, it'll be less worrying on her part and less worrying on yours. Win-win."
"What if knowing turns out to be worse than not knowing?"
The way she looks right now, eyes boring into the nothingness, trying to see through the fog that separates her from the future, Austin remembers that sound she made the day in the dining room, the way her head rolled across his chest and how her hair faintly smelt of lilac. It's funny when you see someone as a bitch and they show you that they're human.
"Trust me," Austin says. "That isn't going to happen. Choosing to be ignorant isn't ever the better option." Without thinking about it, Austin lays his much larger hand over the back of hers, wondering if she can feel it. Her jaw tenses. That's a yes. "So you'll do it?"
Lauren doesn't give him an answer. She yanks her hand away and stands from the bench, not before flipping her hair over her shoulder, though. Austin just sits back and watches her walk away.
That night, while Austin sits in the living room, waiting for Kaylie to finish getting ready to go out, Austin pulls Payson aside and whispers some calming words to her. To show her appreciation, Lauren doesn't make as many jokes about him being completely whipped.
…
"Lover boy, you and Kaylie totally get your legs waxed together, don't you?"
Austin looks terrified. "What?"
Lauren smirks. "Uh, I've seen you in shorts, homeboy. Don't even try to deny it. Smooth as a baby's butt. Come to think of it, Max had really smooth legs too." Lauren gasps dramatically. "You two used to go together, didn't you? Back when you were roomies?"
If Austin Tucker was capable of blushing (which he totally isn't) his face would probably be as red as Nicky Russo's gets every time Austin catches his roommate checking out Kelly Parker and teases the crap out of him for it.
"Lauren, leave Austin alone." Payson lightly smacks Lauren's knee and Lauren makes a big dramatic fuss, rolling her eyes before messing with Payson's hair. Payson pulls away, scrunching her face. Austin quietly observes, smiling. They really are good together.
Lauren clicks her tongue with disapproval. "Officer Keeler on duty, head of the No Fun Task Force."
"Officer Keeler?" Austin laughs. "Got handcuffs to go with that?"
Lauren plays along. "And a safe word too."
"A safe word for what?" Payson asks. The other two just laugh at how innocent she can be sometimes. Payson looks between them, still confused, and Lauren wraps her arm around her neck, telling Payson she'll clue her in later.
"Anyways, I should probably get going." Austin stands from where he'd been, sprawled out on the floor between Payson's bed and Lauren's. "I got myself a date with Kaylie and her parents."
"Really?" Shock flashes in Payson's eyes.
Lauren reacts more with amusement. "Oh, Mr. Cruz is going to tear you limb from limb. I almost wish I could be there to watch."
Austin furrows his brows. "You think?"
"Here's a little Kaylie Cruz history fun fact," Lauren says, sitting up at the foot of Payson's bed and clearing her throat. "The last time her dad met her boyfriend Carter punched him in the face."
Payson shakes her head. "I have no idea what either of you saw in that guy."
"Not the point, Pay," Lauren points out. "I hope you're ready for this, Tuck. Meeting a girl's parents, like, officially, is a milestone. Don't be afraid to bring out the big guns."
"Big guns?"
"Suit and tie. Charm and charisma. Flowers for her mom if you want to go that extra mile."
"Lo," Payson hisses. "You're freaking him out."
"No, she's right. I did not prepare for this. Crap. I gotta go." Austin stumbles to his feet and Lauren shakes her head. He's so screwed. Before leaving their room, Austin pauses and swings back in through the doorway. "You'll tell me as soon as you know anything, right?"
"Remind me. Why do you even care again?" Lauren shoots back.
"I saved your life," Austin says dramatically. It's probably a product from being exposed to big doses of Lauren Tanner more and more these days. "A little follow-up now and again doesn't mean I'm obsessed with you. A little gratitude would be nice."
Payson turns to Lauren and sums it up real nice. "Basically, he's your bitch."
They share a round of laughs. Lauren leans into Payson as her body shakes with laughs, using the other blonde to keep her upright. Austin holds onto the doorframe as laughter rips through him. Payson shrugs her shoulders and shouts, "What? It's true!"
From her spot on the bed, Lauren gives Austin this look like you bring out this awesome side of Payson so you can stay. He nods to her in return. You too.
When Austin finally leaves to prepare for his date, Payson frowns at Lauren. "From what I overheard Kaylie telling KP, she doesn't want dinner to be some big spectacle. Kaylie wants low-key and casual, not suit, tie, and flowers."
"I know." Lauren puts on her mischievous smirk. "But a few curveballs never hurt anyone."
…
Lauren tells him it's just potassium deficiency. Austin thinks that's bullshit.
"Anyways, how was Meet the Cruzes?" Lauren asks. Everyone else is spending time with parents and here she is, sitting on a bench with Austin Tucker. It shocks her a little that he actually bought into her teasing. And that he looks surprisingly awesome in a suit.
Austin smirks. Lauren's ready to roll her eyes.
"Had them eating out of the palm of my hand," Austin says with a confident smirk. It reminds her more of that man with the gold medals, smiling from a podium in Beijing, not the other half of Kaylie's magnet, always attached, ass to lap. "Ha, I thought her dad was going to reach across the table and take my hand during the intimate sports conversation. I knocked it out of the park so to speak."
Lauren does roll her eyes.
Austin slouches a bit, loosening the knot of the tie at his throat. "It was more the after dinner part that didn't go so well."
"You can't expect to get it in with her number one fan sleeping on the other side of the room."
He chuckles. "No, something more embarrassing. I said I love you and she didn't."
Those three words stop Lauren from picking at her fingernails, entertaining fleeting thoughts of wanting a professional manicure. The blonde looks over at him and Austin wrings his fingers in his lap. He looks even less like Mr. Kobalt and more like a frightened little boy.
"A—and what did she do instead?" Lauren asks. She doesn't know why that makes her nervous.
"She hugged me?"
Lauren laughs so hard that she feels it in her abs and her cheeks. Austin tries to pretend he's annoyed, but Lauren knows for a fact that he doesn't mind hanging around her. He's the one who walked over to her just now. More and more he's starting to go out of his way to. Just another pet project of his, she assumes, a bird with broken wings that he wants to nurse back to health and watch fly away. At least she finds him entertaining.
"I thought girls like that sort of thing?" Austin blows hot air from his cheeks and rubs at the top of his head. "I don't do this, you know? Relationships. Stay with one girl for this long. I thought this is how relationships progress. Kiss a bit, make it official, go on date, say I love you—"
"Then have sex, move in, get married and live happily ever after?"
"Kaylie mentioned getting married too. I'm just saying words, not promising that."
"Okay, here's a little lesson on girls, Tuck," Lauren says. "Saying I love you is more than saying words to girls. It is a promise. Duh. Especially to Kaylie. They aren't just words. They're laced with commitment that leads in that direction so if you convince her you're headed there when that's not your intentions, that makes you an ass. And if you hurt her I'll—"
Lauren cuts herself off. She doesn't know where she was going with that. It just sort of headed in its own direction.
Austin wears a knowing smile Lauren wants to smack off him. "Admit it. You still care about Kaylie."
"Things have never been easy with Kaylie and me. No matter what we do, things always break between us," Lauren says. "Jordan is a bitch with no friends, but if Kaylie was her friend before, it isn't hard to see how that happened. At least I have Payson."
Lauren thinks of Payson and the stupid pamphlet she snagged and the stupid doctor's appointment. She knows Payson doesn't believe her and neither does Austin. She sees it in his face right now. Before he can think to ask again, Lauren curls her fingers around his hand. Not in a sexually suggestive way, but it isn't friendly either. Just, necessary. Austin doesn't say anything else, just squeezes her hand in return.
…
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
When Austin wakes up every morning, the picture of Kaylie is still the first thing he sees and it still makes him smile. However, stuck in the corner of the frame is another picture, one of him with Payson and Lauren, taken randomly at lunch. And that picture makes him smile just as hard.
…
As much as his little sister, Ava Tucker, would love to see the USATC in person, close enough to touch, Austin's family isn't exactly going to fly down to Colorado Springs just for the TC's cheesy Family Week. So they improvise. Austin walks around, holding his phone out, FaceTime with his sister, giving her the grand tour.
"Some trees…more trees…Lauren flirting with the wrestlers…" Austin pauses. "Lauren flirting with wrestlers…?"
Austin lowers his phone so Ava's staring at pavement while he looks over at Lauren. She's always playing some sort of angle when it comes to those boys. The one built like a brick wall is the easiest for her to manipulate so her interest isn't really on him. It's the other guy, the smooth-talking ringleader, Jake-something-or-other, who has her attention.
Ava's voice comes from the speaker. "I thought your girlfriend's name is Kaylie?"
"It is," Austin reassures her. He turns away and points the camera out to one of the buildings, hoping it'd distract his sister. "Lauren's just Kaylie's frrr…she's my frrr…it's complicated?"
Ava laughs, rich and slow. "I knew your 'reformed bad boy' stick was bull. I smell love triangle."
Austin turns the phone so he's face to face with his little sister and her suspicious stare. She always has a tendency to blow his life out of proportion, twist it into a soap opera. Austin shakes his head at her to tell her that she should be ashamed of herself. She isn't.
"You need to get out of the house more, V," he sings. Literally. And badly.
She sings right back, more taunting and pleasing to the ears. "As if mom and dad would let me, Aus." That Tucker smirk tugs at her lips. How does it look do damn great when he looks in a mirror, but annoys the hell out of him when Ava wears it? "One blonde. One brunette. Betty and Veronica Syndrome. You could have at least tried to be original. Aren't redheads a thing now?"
Before he can say anything, Payson runs up to him, clearly upset. He's about to warn her that they aren't alone, a Tucker fly is on the wall, but he doesn't have a chance. Payson spits up word vomit.
"I want to talk to you about it, but I know I shouldn't until I talk to Lauren first! She's infuriating, Austin! I know this is our dream and the Olympics is the only thing we've talked about since we met when we were kids, but this is her health we're talking about! How does anything else come first?"
He can feel her stress. It makes Austin stir uncomfortable and forget his sister's listening for a moment.
"Go talk to Lauren about it," Austin tells her. He lowers his phone again, looking right at the fretful blonde. "She's right over—not there anymore." Austin frowns, spotting Payson's refusal to relax. "Is it…is it that bad?"
"Potentially," Payson says tightly. "But potentially not. I don't know."
"It'll be fine." He doesn't know that. "Lauren's tough." He does know that. Austin puts on the most reassuring smile he can and lays his hand on Payson's shoulder, giving her a comforting squeeze. "Chin up, Keeler."
Payson nods, pulling on his strength and drawing on her own. Austin wraps his arm around her and Payson hugs him back. It freaks him out a little, how he got here, stuck between these blondes in this complicated friendship built on kept secrets and built to withstand exposed ones. There's no turning back now. He isn't about to turn on them.
After taking a deep breath with him, Payson says something about preparing for the exhibition and Austin wishes her luck, tells her he'll be in the audience with Kaylie's parents.
"Hmm, love square then?" comes Ava's voice. Austin remembers his sister, who got a little more than Austin planned on showing her. "You always did like blondes more than brunettes."
"Well, this was fun. I'll talk to you later, V."
"Be careful, big brother. You've always had a knack for screwing yourself over like this. They aren't just falling stars. They're teenage girls too."
…
Austin holds his breath as Lauren performs on beam during the exhibition.
She gets through it and that puts him a little more at ease. It makes him realize how much he's come to care about her. It's so much more than he ever thought he was capable of. And that scares him.
…
Kaylie tells Austin I love you in front of everyone post-exhibition.
Austin is ecstatic, hugging his tiny girlfriend in his massive arms as she repeats it over and over again. People all around them smile, ooh and aww, led by Kelly Parker, of course. Meanwhile, Lauren mockingly gags and Payson scolds her per usual. Austin catches the two of them and playfully mouths bitch. Lauren laughs to herself and grins.
…
That night, when Payson asks Lauren if she can stay with her when they're back in Boulder and her family goes back to Minnesota, Lauren is stunned. Payson is nervous and fidgets, immediately starts apologizing for imposing like that, but then Lauren darts forward and hugs her.
Lauren squeals. "It'll be like a sleepover every night!"
"Err, on second thought…"
Lauren laughs and hugs her tighter. Payson has never been more confident in a decision.
…
Austin's learning new things from being around the two blondes.
Benefits of being friends with girls:
"Hey, how are you feeling?"
"That how you choose to wear your shirt is making me feel ill. Un-tuck it," Lauren says. Not discretely or quietly either.
Austin looks down at his outfit. "What? It's neat. It's professional. Presentable. I always wear it like this. Kaylie's parents—"
"Sure, but the social side of shirt tucking, Tuck? You have it tucked in so tight it looks like it was painted on. With perfectly tailored slacks, yes, definitely, but with narrow leg jeans? Trust me. You're being embarrassing."
Austin scowls. "Remind me to never ask you how you're feeling again."
But as he walks back over to Kaylie, Austin does as Lauren said and un-tucks his shirt.
Noted for future reference.
But then there are other moments with the girls that make him wish Nicky Russo were more fun to be around.
Disadvantages of being friends with girls:
The inability to share in the things they find exciting. Austin lies on the couch, fiddling with his phone when Payson runs in with the "good news" that Rigo is finally coming back to the TC. Lauren, who'd been leafing through a magazine on the opposite couch, immediately sits up and rises to Payson's level of glee in an instant. Suddenly, Payson and Lauren are in the middle of the room and they're both talking at the same time between squeals.
Austin watches them, bewildered. He can't deny that it's cute. It almost makes him feel their excitement, just watching the two with their little pink mouths in smiles and matching heads of hair. Then he remembers what it's over—a dude—and Austin turns his attention back to his phone.
Their excited chatter goes on and on. Austin makes a mental note to go spend more time with the guys.
…
Kelly drinks milk. Like, all the time. What is she? Eight?
"Did you hear?" Kelly asks excitedly. Lauren has her fingers wrapped around a ceramic mug, warmed by the hot tea within it, while Kelly pours herself a glass of milk—apparently, her favorite. "Austin and Kaylie traded ILYs! Big, right? I mean, she didn't even say it to Carter."
Lauren laughs. "Is that what she told you? Kaylie definitely said I love you to Carter. She practically wrote it in the chalk bowl at the Rock."
Kelly's eyes widen. She shakes her head. "No, but Kaylie said—"
"Sounds like your new bestie is already fibbing, KP. I wonder what else she hasn't been completely honest about."
Lauren turns away with a satisfied smile. She knows that Kaylie probably said that because she'd rather not acknowledge trading ILYs with Carter Anderson (clearly, Lauren can relate), but Kelly doesn't need to know that. This has always been Lauren's definition of fun.
And distractions are her favorite type of fun these days.
…
"So what do you think of that Rigo guy?" Austin asks Lauren when they're sitting in the living room together while Payson is on the phone with said boy in their room. If anyone is going to give him a real, straightforward answer, it's Lauren. "If you ask me, the dude needs a haircut."
"Austin Tucker: Mind Reader," Lauren says. "You can't just roll out of bed, put on a slouchy beanie and assume that's okay." Lauren pauses, curls in her lips as if physically retraining herself. Lauren tries control? That's new. "But I've never seen a boy make Payson this happy before."
"One that you aren't attracted to whatsoever?"
"Duh. Did you miss the part about the slouchy beanies?" Lauren asks playfully. Austin laughs. "Not my type. Not near my type. Rigo's actually a nice guy." She looks away and she looks so sad. "I'm not even trying to date and my heart's still giving me problems…."
She tries to laugh it off, but Austin won't let her. He almost reaches for her hand, but doesn't. Despite his own past, he can control himself too. He almost at least lets their fingertips touch when Kaylie's bedroom door flings open and his girlfriend walks out with her hair moist, as if just getting out of the shower.
"Austin!" Kaylie looks at him confusedly. "Um, did we have plans that I forgot about?"
"Nope. Just hanging out here since my roommate and someone's roommate are having 'crossword puzzle time' in our room right now. Just like last night and the night before that and the night before that."
Lauren cringes. "Was that a weird, nerdy euphemism for sex? Because Kelly 'Creepy Town' Parker plus Nicky 'The Drug Pushing Robot' plus a weird, nerdy euphemism for sex equals me throwing up my Healthy Bar."
Lauren cringes again. Kaylie is in the room. Crap. She wasn't bulimic, but still, a tad more sensitivity would be ideal, even if things are still rocky between them.
"No," Austin says smoothly, shooting the spotlight in the other direction. "Nicky and Kelly literally do crossword puzzles together. Or he does them as she hangs around and teases him about it. Scandalous, right? I don't understand it either. Why can't they just go out for coffee and flirt like normal people?"
"I think it's cute," Kaylie argues. "Theoretically, with KP and Nicky occupied, we should be spending more couple time together."
"And that's my cue to vacate before the couple time fumes get to me." Lauren stands up and rounds the corner of the couch, going towards her room. She loudly knocks on the door before pushing it open. "Pay, I'm coming in! Hold off on the giggling and the dirty talk till after I get my iPod on this time!"
Austin smiles when he hears Payson's muffled, "Lauren, shut up!" before the door closes. That just leaves him and Kaylie. Austin immediately clasps his hands and springs to his feet. "Well, I better get going. Kelly should be back any minute, which means I can get some sleep," he says.
"Wait." Kaylie tugs on his arm and draws him back over to the couch to sit with her. "I feel like it's been ages since we spent time together."
"Ages? I just saw you at dinner. I live less than ten minutes away."
"Not what I meant, Austin," Kaylie says. "Were you here long? Why didn't you knock on my door?"
"I don't know. Lauren and I just started talking and yeah."
Kaylie gives him a look that's part confusion and part disbelief. "What do you two have to talk about?"
"Payson's new boy."
The sadness pours out of her within seconds. Those are three words she definitely doesn't want from him. Austin frowns, upset he brought out this change in her demeanor, but he doesn't know how to fix it. He promised the blondes that he isn't hanging out with them to push some Be Kaylie's Friend Again agenda and Austin's good on his word so when they talk, Kaylie rarely ever comes up.
"It sucks that I can't be apart of the conversation," Kaylie says. "It sucks even more that they act like they don't even mind."
Austin feels the urge to tell her that she sort of did this to herself, that he wanted her about befriending Kelly Parker and getting screwed over. Instead, he just wraps his arms around her and whispers that he loves her, hoping it'll put some joy back in her eyes. It doesn't, but she whispers it back anyways.
…
Payson has that dream again.
Of Lauren falling. The sound of breaking bones. A dream slipping away. A life ending.
She wakes up with a jolt and gazes across their room that's still dark in the early hours of the morning. Lauren's asleep, her chest rhythmically rising and falling, accompanied by sleep sounds. At first Payson complained about Lauren's rather loud breathing ("I don't snore, Payson! Ew!"), but now it's become a comfort.
Fully awake, Payson starts her day with a run. The TC is nice in the mornings. Calm and empty compared to the chaotic social playground it is during the day. She asked Rigo if he'd like to go running with her a couple times a week, but he just groaned at the prospects of waking up earlier than need be. The cute face he made as he declined cushioned her disappointment.
The mornings after she has that dream, hears the cracking of Lauren's skull echo in her head, Payson runs as hard and as fast as she can. She runs until her lungs burn and her body begs her to stop. She tries to outrun the fear. But it's always a fruitless attempt.
Gasping for air, Payson falls forward onto the grass, bracing herself with her palms and her knees. She heaves, feeling nauseous, seeing spots, and she wonders if this is how Lauren feels when she has one of her spells. Except, unlike Payson, Lauren has no control over it.
"Keeler, what are you trying to do to yourself?"
"A—Austin, wh—what are you doing awake?"
"Early morning shoulder work," he explains. Austin takes her arm and hoists her to her feet and he doesn't let go until they're sitting on a nearby bench. "Now, what do you think you're doing?"
"I had a nightmare last night and I just…" Her attention fades for a second, away from Austin, back to the dream, blank expression. "Austin, what if her heart just gives out? I know that's a pretty big what if but it's a possibility and I know it scares her, but you know Lauren. I don't think I've ever met someone that stubborn in my life before."
"Same here."
"As long as we've known each other, we've never been best friends, but now we are." The thought relaxes Payson at least a little. "I just don't want to lose her now that I finally realize how great she is."
"I know the feeling and I get what you're saying. I haven't quite figured out what to do about it yet, but, don't worry, we'll figure something out," Austin says. "C'mere." He hugs her, wrapping her up in his strong arms. Her head fits nicely into the crook of his neck and they sit together, watching the sky grow lighter and lighter. "You're a really great friend, Keeler."
"Yeah, so are you. To me and to Lauren."
…
When Kelly catches a glimpse of Austin and Payson in such an intimate position, holding each other as if the world is about to end, she discretely mentions what she saw to Kaylie later that day. Even if Kaylie doesn't tell her the whole truth, Kelly will always be honest with her. Because that's just what a good bestie does, right?
…
Austin's pretty confused by the whole thing, but Kaylie is livid.
"Austin, you're supposed to be my boyfriend!"
"I am your boyfriend," Austin says. With his tone, he's sure to tell her just how ridiculous he thinks she's being. "We're dating, committed, I'm yours, but you're saying that means I can't be Payson's friend?"
"Why should you get to be her friend when she won't even talk to me? Ever since you've been hanging out more and more with Payson and even Lauren, I—"
"This isn't about you, Kaylie. Not everything is. Maybe if you'd remembered that, you wouldn't have snapped at Lauren when it wasn't your place and if you had Lauren on your side, Payson would have had an easier time trusting you again, instead of totally shutting the door on that friendship," Austin nearly shouts. Shit. A little more control would have been helpful in that moment.
Kaylie blinks, hurt. "Is that what you really think? You're siding with them? With Lauren? I don't get it, Austin. After everything that happened with Max, you were against anything and everything involving Lauren. Now everyone around the TC is warning me that she's trying to 'move in on you.' What's with that?"
"Kaylie, can you honestly not see how ridiculous you're being right now? You're worrying about nothing. And guess who started all of this—Kelly Parker. Again."
"She's my friend, Austin."
"Yeah, well, Payson and Lauren are my friends."
The realization strikes him just as hard as it strikes Kaylie.
"Really?" she asks.
Austin nods firmly. "Really."
…
"I told Kaylie we're friends."
Lauren is at her spot that only Austin knows about. It's earlier than when he usually finds her thanks to the new early curfew rule. She needs a couple seconds to collect herself before going back to the dorms, where she's constantly swarmed with people and drama. Lauren gives Austin a look from over her shoulder and pretends she doesn't see his concern.
"Why would you lie to your girlfriend like that?" Lauren says playfully. Austin shuffles over and sits beside her. "I'm assuming her reaction was less than ecstatic."
"Confused mostly. Hell, I don't blame her. I don't really know how we got here," Austin says. He closes his eyes for a second and takes a deep breath. "Payson has nightmares about you, you know?"
Lauren laughs. "I'm sure there are plenty of girls back home in Boulder, gymnasts everywhere, wrestler boys, who can say the same exact thing."
"No, like, she's having nightmares about your heart giving out," he reiterates. Lauren tenses up. She shakes out her hands, flicks her wrists and it scares Austin a bit as he mentally prepares himself to catch her if needed. Instead, she hops up from the bench and starts pacing and he figures it's become somewhat of a nervous quirk.
"You should talk to Kaylie," Lauren says. She takes the conversation in a complete 180. "Yeah, she's upset that our friendships are all messed up and taking it out on you, but wouldn't you be too if all you had was Kelly Parker and your boyfriend hanging out with your ex-besties?"
"Lauren, did you not hear what I just said?"
"Curfew, Austin," Lauren says, starting to walk away. "Talk to Kaylie and focus on just you two and your relationship. Ha, not like that'll be a problem for either of you." She smiles and winks at him. "Just leave everything and everyone else out. Your relationship will definitely function a thousand times better that way."
"Tanner, you can't keep running from this forever!"
The look Lauren gives him before she disappears comes with the message: but I can try.
…
Austin apologizes for being an ass. Kaylie admits that she's jealous of his friendship with the girls.
The TC King and Queen trade forgiveness and I love you's just in time for the NGO cuts.
And all is well in the kingdom. Except, it isn't.
…
Payson and her fucking ethics.
"Lauren won't talk to me," Payson says. She paces back and forth in her bedroom while Austin sits on the corner of her bed, gazing over at Lauren's side of the room. All her things are still here, but it feels so empty without her. "I screwed up. I shouldn't have said anything. Rigo told me—"
"No, Keeler, you did the right thing," Austin assures her. Fuck that Rigo kid and his damn slouchy beanie. "What do you think would've happened if I saw the signs of Kaylie's anorexia and kept my mouth shut? Been there, done that. Doesn't work. Things are better this way. Lauren will see that eventually."
"I wouldn't be too sure."
"I'm sure."
"How?"
Austin sighs and tugs on Payson's arm. She collapses at his side and Austin wraps his arm around her, comfortingly rubbing patterns up and down her shoulder. She leans into him and Austin leans right back.
"Because Lauren loves you," Austin assures her. "We don't shut out the people who love us."
…
The machines and the wires and the fucking beeping keep her up. Then again, so do the anxiety, the fear and the fucking anger. The door of Lauren's hospital room clicks and she looks over to see Austin. Leather jacket. A look of concern. His shirt is untucked.
"Hey, Stud." Lauren is in a hospital bed, restrained by tubes and monitoring devices, forced to listen to that incessant beeping, yet still finds room for sarcasm. Austin wishes he were less impressed than he is. "Kaylie know you're here? Or is she too busy falling apart in KP's arms?"
"KP's gone."
A range of emotions plays across her face in millisecond intervals. Then it all disappears. Poof.
"Kaylie didn't tell you?" Austin asks.
"We don't talk much at all anymore, do we?" Lauren looks down at her hand, replaying the way Kaylie kissed the tips of her fingers and touched her. Austin pulls up a chair by her bedside, reaches for her hand, but Lauren moves it away.
"I'm not Kaylie. I don't need you to guard dog my hospital room and look at me—" A bitter laugh. "—Like I'm the only girl in the world."
"Kaylie loves that song."
"Exactly."
"Payson hates it."
Lauren nods. "I know."
There's a pause between them, but the beeping keeps on going.
Austin sighs. "You're right. You're not Kaylie. Far from it. But you're wrong. You need me. And you need Payson too."
He leans forward. His hand creeps towards hers and she doesn't violently jerk away this time. He doesn't take her hand, but he lets his fingertips just gently touch hers. He wonders if she can even feel him there or if the numbness is between them, severing them, what this universe demands.
"Don't choose to be numb, Lauren. Don't let your heart give out."
She doesn't say anything. She doesn't move away. They just sit for a while longer; touching, but not; friends, but not; more, but not.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
A/N: KP/Nickelly is so much fun to tease through other character's perspectives and as you can imagine I am heartbroken over KP. :( And the show's demise. Even though neither of those things are shockers. Now, Payson and Lauren are literally the only reason I'll watch. Maybe Show!Austin if he can find a pair of balls, but unlikely.
Review! What'd you think of the story? What do you think of the show? Have you fallen out of love with Austin T. too? Seriously, he makes me beyond dry. Does it make you as upset as me that we'll never get a scene where KP accidentally walks in on KayAus trying to have sex? God, that makes me so upset.
xoxo
© Ava Tucker - Romance Novel