A/N: Here's (finally) my piece for "Insecurity". Expect mucho shipping to spawn from this episode, mostly Roy/Wally and Roy/Artemis 'cause I ship it so hard…
Disclaimer: Still don't own.
Sidenote: This is a bit like "I am Misplaced" in the fact that it focuses on the results of one episode and that it is centralized around one character. May make a nasty habit of these…
I am Insecure
She'd never been afraid of much, really. Artemis feared coyotes, commitment, and the future among other things. But she considered herself a brave person, one to never back down from a challenge and to face fear head-on, diving into the danger without another thought.
She'd gone after Cheshire and Sportsmaster on her own because she was trying to create a better future, one where she didn't have to worry about all the secrets spilling out or her past becoming common knowledge. She was terrified of that future, and if she could put an arrow through it now, one problem would be solved, a certain future indefinitely annihilated.
Artemis wasn't afraid to try and change the future to cope with the fear, but she was afraid of losing family in the process. She wouldn't kill Jade, and she wouldn't kill her father; the serious issues spiked from that alone.
Now that her fears were confirmed by the mission to find her father and sister, he had a whole new terror to deal with when she closed her eyes, when she sat in a dark room, whenever she was alone.
She was insecure.
There had always been a few loose pieces in the puzzle that made up her life. Nothing had ever truly been stable in her world between her mother being in prison and her father always out on assignment, killing for money, assassinating to feed his two beautiful daughters. The loose pieces were jarred when he'd left and her mother had filled the role of a parental unit. They were jarred again when it was Jade who pulled off the Cheshire cat's mask. She was shaken upon discovering that Roy knew something of her dirty little secret. And nearly dying with Robin and losing her second family, Artemis knew she was frayed, the fabric of her life ripping away at the seams.
She'd become insecure. She was falling apart, her confidence shattering like glass. Artemis was damaged goods now, dangerous if not properly cared for. She was broken, disintegrating.
This was all so much, to be internally falling apart while still wearing a brave face and putting on her best smile every morning. In reality, her mind was unraveling faster than she could put herself back together. Artemis could barely take much more before running into her family in the field again.
Roy was back, and the archer quota suddenly seemed relevant once more; Artemis felt unnecessary, unwanted. She was just there now, a phantom limb. Roy destroyed any shred of confidence she had left.
Her sister kissed him and all Hell broke loose in her head. Was Jade the little bird whispering secrets in his ear? Did she feed him information on her baby sister? Or was she merely Roy's toy? Or was it all just another game of cat and mouse... Alice chasing the rabbit, never knowing where he was going, merely following upon instinct.
The world continued to crumble.
Roy traced her. Roy followed the leads, commanded well. Roy was doing just fine heading this damned mission. And he knew how to make her feel weaker with every passing second, taking the shot that she couldn't make, grinding her relationship with Wally to mere dust. Roy made her look stupid and weak. Roy destroyed her.
But when it came down to it, Wally was the one who delivered the final blow. He didn't know whether to trust her anymore. After he'd defended her from Red Arrow's accusations, she'd lied to him anyways. Or at least withheld the truth. Too much of the truth.
Wally trusted her, and she failed him.
So when he came in and sat down in the other chair, hunched forward, jade eyes on the floor, elbows on his knees, and asked, "What is it that you're afraid of?", Artemis could barely manage a response.
"Myself."
Because I am insecure.
A/N: Review?
~Sky