Chapter One
It occured to me, a lot later than it should have, that I have to sleep now... now that the beast is out of me, I am like the rest of them. I must sleep. I'm normal.
I should have realized this earlier; everyone's asleep already... and who would I ask, anyway? My sister will scoff at me, if she's even here. My brother, though most likely softer than my sister... I'd still rather not ask him. Baki? The Council? Ha. I'm Kazekage... and while that should mean that I have access to everything I need in this village, I doubt that telling any of the "higher ups" will end well. I need to prove that I am not weak, especially now after this... ordeal. The people look to me, especially the younger ones, to see if I will still be a capable leader. While I am now like they are, I doubt the older nin will so easily forget what used to live within me. They'll look for a weak spot in me, to prove that I am ineffective, and so I must have none.
Who to ask, then? Who would take my... yes, they are fears... seriously? This is the worst kind of timing. We must prepare for the Chuunin exams. Repairs need to be finished. And these Akatsuki... we must find out more about them, and with the other villages, come up with a plan to destroy them. All this on top of proving my worth to the elders on the Council. All this on top of coping. Do they realize how empty I feel, and yet at the same time, how full? Full of potential to be what I choose to be... I am a clean slate now. What will I be, then? I don't know that I'll even have time to think about myself, what with all of these preparations and people to appease. Will I be able to function now without sleep? It would be useful, but I'm inclined to think no. How will I sleep now anyway? My sleep was always voluntary, to let... him... gain power. I need to be hypnotized into this sleep, so I'll stop worrying about it. Wait... at the festival. The girl from the festival who could hypnotize anyone with her chakra. I must go see her; she will understand. I don't care if I wake her; I'm Kazekage, and I need her help.
I remember walking these streets, always alone, usually at night. What else was I to do? At night, everyone sleeps, and I could be at peace. Thinking of it in terms of my past is still strange. I haven't yet convinced myself I don't have to do it anymore. I know these streets like the back of my hand, for how many times I've walked them at night like this. Only, what is this thing nagging on my mind? I feel like something is slowing me down. There's nobody here, though. Everyone's asleep. Everyone but me.
There's the fairground. They denied the quarters I offered them, so she must be sleeping here somewhere. All right, quietly now... there's where the young ones play their games and win masks and crackers... What was that? Calm, heart. An animal grunted; it's nothing to fear. Look, there it is - one of the oxen, falling back asleep. The animals who do tricks must be asleep nearby as well. Yes, that explains it. Of course it does. Ah, what's this now? A light? I'll go to it; it might be her.