Note: I do not own these characters, they are the property of JKR. Please enjoy!
Hermione and Ron had just gotten married at the Burrow. Harry had been drinking firewhiskey all morning before the ceremony. Here's what happened at the reception:
The reception was underway with music playing and people dancing and general merriment all around. The wedding party was at their table and waiting for a toast from Ginny. Ginny raised her glass and a butter-knife.
"To my big brother and my dearest friend, Ron, Hermione: I wish you two all the best in your marriage, may you give our mom more grandchildren to run around this place." Ginny laughed a little as everyone applauded. Harry stood up to speak next, he had been enjoying a few rounds of champagne before this glass, as well as his firewhiskey. He clumsily got up to toast, but nearly fell over in the process. Ron was giving him a warning glance before Harry raised his glass then sat down again. Hermione and Ron kissed each other and drank the toast before Harry decided to stand up again.
"To my best friends! You two have saved my life, and many others. I love you both so much!" Harry kissed Hermione full on the mouth and went back to his speech, "Ron, mate, you've been there through everything, well almost everything, and Hermione you've been super awesome. You both are super awesome. Wassail!" Harry gulped down the flute of champagne and announced, "And you're going to be an aunt and uncle, too! Congratulations!" With this statement Harry fell back into his chair and the audience gasped in shock as Ginny turned a bright shade of crimson and ran off crying. Hermione covered her mouth with what was somewhere between a gasp of horror and an outburst of laughter. She hit Harry, who was now almost passed out and ran to check on Ginny, who was crying in the quidditch pitch.
Ron ran after his new wife and little sister. "Hermione, wait!" He scoweled at Harry as he left the tent set up in their backyard.
Luna looked at Harry and slapped him across the face, "Harry, what's wrong with you? I don't mean to pry, but you don't seem like yourself." Harry looked at her for a second then put his head down and puked on his shoes. Luna shreiked and jumped away. The guests were still looking over occasionally and whispering to each other. "Harry, we're leaving. Come with me!" Luna grabbed the back of his robes and dragged him off to the bathroom to clean him up. "Seriously, Harry. I can't believe I'm the one yelling at you, for Christ sake!" She got him into the bathroom and closed the door. He sat on the floor and started crying as Luna helped him out of his jacket and puke-covered shoes. She started the faucet with hot running water.
"Luna, you are such a good friend. Maybe I should have fucked you instead. Ginny's mean..." Harry whispered and started crying more as he took off his shirt and threw it across the bathroom. "I'm so sorry I was being such an ass. Why did I do that to everyone? They're my best friends."
"Well, Harry, I don't know why you drank so much firewhiskey and I don't know why you told everyone what happened to you and Ginny, but I know that you need to get in the shower." Luna helped Harry take his pants off and get into the tub.
"Wow, you're pretty..." Harry smiled at Luna as she noticed him starting to get an erection.
"No! Harry, seriously. Get cleaned up then take a nap. You're drunk!" Luna turned the faucet to extremely cold and Harry started screaming. "There!" She then turned the hot back on and he started screaming again. "Now, if I come back in five minutes and catch you misbehaving I'll have your head on a silver platter!" Luna closed the bathroom door behind her as she left.
Luna closed the door to see Neville outside. "Hey, Luna. Everything alright in there?" Luna rolled her eyes and took Neville by the hand into an empty room that she assumed used to be Percy's.
"Harry's drunk, but I'm sure you could figure that out from the speech." Luna kissed Neville then and locked the door behind her. "But I'm ready to just be with you." Neville moaned as she laid him down on the bed and began to disrobe this man in a more positive fashion.
Meanwhile, Harry was in the bathtub rubbing soap bubbles on his face and singing random strings of words, "Laa, la, Harry Potter, gonna go to the shower, la la, drunk," until he felt the need to puke again, whence he got up and made it to the toilet and puked and then he passed out.
Hermione had calmed Ginny down enough to get her inside to give Harry a piece of her mind. They searched most of the house, except the locked door on Percy's room and the bathroom. They heard the happenings in Percy's room and decided to leave whoever was in there alone, so they tapped on the bathroom door and went in to find a drunk, passed out Harry over the toilet, ass in the air. Ginny grabbed him by his hair and slapped him across the face. "Wake the FUCK up, Harry!"
"Huh?" Harry's eyes would barely open. "Ginny, mother of my baby. I love you!" Harry grabbed onto her legs and nearly tripped her.
"I'll leave you two to settle this. Good luck, Gin." Hermione rolled her eyes and escaped back to Ron, who had gone back to the reception.
"Harry, you disgraceful little man. I could kill you right now! Are you aware that you just announced that I was pregnant to the entire Weasley family!?" Ginny slapped him again, harder this time. "You're lucky that I am having your baby, otherwise I might actually kill you right now!!"
"I'm sorry!" Harry was still naked and started crying again, "I'm so happy about our baby! I'm so sorry I said all of that! I'm sorry!" He sobbed and laid down on the bathroom floor. "Don't hate me, Ginny! I love you! I wanna love you forever!"
Ginny looked down at him with his tear-stained face, "I know, baby. I love you, too." She stroked the top of his head. "Here," she grabbed the cup by the sink and filled it with water, "drink up."
"It's minty. Why is it minty?" Harry drank it down anyway.
"It's the mouthwash cup. Just drink." Ginny helped Harry stand up and put his underwear and pants back on. "Why are you naked, Harry?"
"I had a bath. Luna made me and she was mean." Harry hugged Ginny and nearly knocked her over. "She said I smelled like broccoli and poo."
Ginny snorted a little laugh, "You don't exactly smell like that, but you do smell like puke. Rinse your mouth out. Then maybe I can kiss you again."
"Okay." Harry rinsed some mouthwash through his mouth and spat it out in the sink. "I really love you, Ginny." Harry smiled and tried to lean in for a kiss, "And your boobies are really big now," he giggled.
"Thanks? Harry, let's get you into bed. C'mon..." Ginny lead him up to her room and sat him down on the bed. "Are you going to puke anymore? Because if you do, I do, remember?"
"No, I'm good... I think." Harry laid down on the bed and took Ginny's hand in his. "You'll still marry me, right? You're not going to leave me?"
"No, Harry. I won't leave you, but right now I'm not so sure I'd marry you. We'll see, okay?" Ginny kissed his forehead and turned out the light, closing the door behind her as she left to go back out to the party. On her way down the stairs she heard Percy's door click open to see Neville and Luna coming out. "Oh, shit!" She exclaimed to Luna's shock. The two turned around to see Ginny above them on the next flight of stairs giggling. "Really, you guys? And you didn't tell me?" Luna's face turned a bright red against the blonde hair that was now a little dishieveled and knotted. "Luna," Ginny came rushing down the stairs, "you may want to brush out your hair before returning to the dance floor."
"Thank you, Ginny." She snuck into the bathroom and started combing out the sex hair. Neville blushed a little as Ginny winked at him and continued out to the reception.
Then everyone except Harry went back out to dance, and aside from snarky comments about Ginny's illegitimate child, everyone had a pretty good time, except Harry. He had a horrible hangover the next day, but Ginny loved him anyway. Neville and Luna lasted a few weeks. A few very hot weeks, but he couldn't stand the insanity and she kept getting in trouble for sneaking onto Hogwarts grounds to fuck... so... he married Hannah Abbott instead. But anyway eventually Ginny and Harry got married. Quiet party, etc, etc, as she was already preggers. MMMkay.
Ya'll know the rest... the end.
A/N: And in case you were wondering: Someone did throw me in the bathtub like that when I was drunk. She's still my best friend...