A/N: So first of all, excuse any grammatical mistake or spelling error, but I'm not English, I'm actually from Switzerland (and speaking French) Well, I don't really know what it's about, it's some sort of alternative 'What is and what should never be'. I hope you'll like it! And please, I really need some review for this one, because it's my first fic and it's not in my language (and I want to know what you thought of course ^^)

I'm nervous, but here it is!

You're not working? Why? Because. Because it hurt to think. Because you might find the answers. And it scares you so bad, to know what's going on. It's fine this way, isn't it? Of course it is. But it just a lie. You don't like lies, do you? No. They hurt. So you think, you search a way out of this mess. And it hurts. So bad. Everything hurt, because you know that you have the choice. You can make the ultime choice and you don't like that at all, because it's not only you that it's about. There's them too. They're happy. They're safe. That's what you wanted since the beginning, isn't it? And there it is. But it's a lie. And lies just make it better for a while.

What are you supposed to do? Leave this fake world? Let them be happy for once? They deserve it. Of course they do, more than anyone. But it's not right.

You don't want to make this choice alone. You want them to be aware of what's going on, want to hear their opinion. Why should you decide how it's going to be? You should not. You don't have the right to. So you don't work. You just stay here, thinking, even if it hurts. Because it's the only thing you can do.

You could go make some research, like in every other jobs. Make research and find how to counter that. There's a way. Of course there is one. There is always one. Find the way. It's what you usually do. You find the safest way out of the messy things you get in. Yeah, you could do that. It will be ethical. Because even if you're not entirely aware of what is happening, you know it's evil. And you fight the evil, right? Right?

Or you could stay here. With them. Live a real life, have friends, a wife, maybe even kids. You have said once that it was what you really wanted. A family. Teach your son how to play baseball, basket of football. Teach him what is good and what is bad. Watch him grow up. Have grandchildren and go fishing with them. Here you can have it. And you'll be happy. The others too. They will have families as well. Mother, girlfriend, brother. They will have it all. It will be great.

But it's just a lie. All of it, god dammit!

So what can you do? You don't have a clue. You just don't know. Maybe the others will. But you can't tell them. Can you? No. But, maybe they have doubts. Maybe they are just like you. Yeah, they're good at the job, good enough to realise that it's not real. Maybe.

It's midnight. You're still thinking. You have a headache, but you don't really care. You don't really feel it. You are too deep in thoughts. No. No, now it's ok. You have finally made your choice. And you hate you for that. Whatever you're about to do, you will hate you for your life forward. It sucks. Come on, you have to do this.

The gun is in your hand, its black steel shining, ready. It was the only way, right? No, stop thinking. It's done, don't take your word back. Stick to the plan. The choice. It's made. It's over. There'll be no come back. You hope beyond hope that it's the way. Because if you're wrong... No. Stop. Stop. Don't think. Act, just act.

Okay.