Author's Note: This story is a sequel to my fic My Lilyflower. If you haven't read that, you might want to start with that before you read this one. If you have read My Lilyflower, great! I hope you enjoy this one.
I've always wondered why it is that happy people rarely write in diaries, whereas miserable people write in them all the time. I think that I never really understood, because I'd never really been happy before. Not properly. Not like I am now.
I know, I know, that sounds like the soppiest thing you've ever heard. Believe me, I think it sounds soppy, and I wrote it. But if there's one thing I've learnt in the last month, it's that however hard you try you can't actually deny how you feel about something. Or someone.
And this last month, well. It's really been... something. Something different, something new. James has been...
I can't even finish sentences of which James is a part. And not for the old reasons. It used to be that James filled me with derision, then confusion. Now, well, now thinking of James fills me with a sense of contentment. A feeling of safety and security.
Ye gads, that's far too much sop. Even for me, even now.
Let's get back to my first thought; why people write in diaries.
I've got mine back out again, after all. And I was wondering why. I think it might be exam stress. The NEWTs are in less than a month, after all. And I still haven't started revising.
Remus has been revising. Everytime I see him, he's got a pile of books under his arm. Barely got time to say hello to me. Then there's Peter, who has been reading the first page of 'Basic Transfiguration' for the last three weeks. OK, so maybe it's not very effective revision, but at least he's trying. I've even seen Sirius with a book or two in his bag, though he'd die before letting anyone think that he actually cared about his exams.
I've got a pile of books from the library, almost as tall as me. And I know that I should be revising from them. That's why I've got them, after all.
Even worse, I keep avoiding the issue with James. I know that more than anything he wants me to be happy, and I know that he knows that I have no chance of achieving that until I feel happy about my exams. So he keeps asking me how I'm getting on with my revision. In a way, it's sweet that he understands me so well, and that he cares. On the other hand, it's making me nothing but nervous.
Maybe I should do some revision now. It's probably best.
Or I could take a nap. Mmm. I am sleepy...