Read at your own risk. I am not responsible for any tearing out of hair when you hear the song "Old MacDonald Had A Farm" after reading.
Celegorm wondered briefly why he wasn't at Mando's Halls, but then decided that he should be happy. After all, Dior would likely be most unkind to him when he reached the Halls.
Then a girl appeared.
"HELLO! I STOPPED YOU FROM GOING TO MANDOS'S HALLS AND SAVED YOU FROM SECOND DEATH BY DIOR! SAY THANK YOU! IT IS ONLY POLITE!"
Celegorm went O_O. "Um... Thank you?" He reached for his sword, but it wasn't there.
The girl rolled her eyes. "Ugh, you're acting JUST LIKE Finwe. He stared and went for his sword, too, when he first met me. But don't worry, I'm harmless! I just want to sing you a song."
Celegorm's face was still stuck in the O_O position, but he was able to speak.
"Um, no thanks, there's really no need..."
The girl burst into song nevertheless. And boy, was it a terrible tune. Add on her terrible screeching sound of a voice, and this is what Celegorm heard:
"OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM, E-I-E-I-O
AND ON HIS FARM HE HAD DIOR, E-I-E-I-O
WITH AN ELF ELF HERE AND AN ELF ELF THERE, HERE AN ELF, THERE AN ELF, EVERYWHERE AN ELF ELF
OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM, E-I-E-I-O
ALONG CAME THE FEANORIANS, E-I-E-I-O
AND IN THEIR HANDS THEY HAD BIG SWORDS, E-I-E-I-O
WITH A KINSLAYING HERE AND A KINSLAYING THERE, HERE A KINSLAY, THERE A KINSLAY, EVERYWHERE A KINSLAY,
OLD MACDONALD HAD A DEAD DIOR, E-I-E-I-O!"
Celegorm covered his ears. Or at least he tried to. But the girl went on anyway.
"AND HERE'S THE REGULAR VERSION!
OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM, E-I-E-I-O
AND ON HIS FARM HE HAD A-"
"Stop tormenting the poor soul, for Tulkas the old sheepbrain's sake! Let him come to my Halls!"
Mandos grabbed Celegorm and disappeared.
BlueRaspberryJollyRancher glanced behind her.
"You got that on tape, I hope?"
Pippin took a bite out of his mushroom, beheaded a random orc, and grinned. "Yep. Wait until the folks on Facebook see this thing!"
BlueRaspberryJollyRancher shook a finger at Pip. "NO! When I posted the Finwe one, everyone thought it was a prank, and ignored it. IT ONLY GOT 23 LIKES! We'll try Twitter this time."
Pippin ate the rest of his mushroom and posted the video on Twitter.
OLDMACDONALDOLDMACDONALDOLDMACDONALD
Amrod bounced up and down on Celegorm's bed. "HEY TYELKORMO, I learned a new song! It goes like this:
OLD MACDONALD HAD A FAR-"
"NOOOO! I NEVER WANT TO HEAR THAT SONG AGAIN IN MY WHOLE LIFE!"
"You're already dead", Amrod pointed out.
Celegorm's face turned red with anger (hmm, perhaps he should be the one called Carnistir!), and he fainted.
Review? I hope you haven't gone insane.