Disclaimer: Sigh, fine, if I must. Not mine. Belong to MGM, um, not sure who else but needless to say, not mine – if they were I'd be bringing Doggett and Reyes from the X-Files into the Pegasus Galaxy hehehehe.

Rating: T (formally PGish)

Spoilers: Conversion (s2ep8)

Author: Traci

Summary: Post-ep for Conversion. In all the apologies John has to make there is one that has affected him the most. Will he be able to face Elizabeth?

Author Notes: Yeah, yeah, all the Shep/Weir fans felt a little let down that we didn't get that scene in this ep. That's why fans invented fan fiction hehehehe.

Never Alone

A warm breeze blew gently across the isolated balcony. The lone figure sighed and leaned down over the railing in the moonlit night and only gave a slight acknowledgement when the nearby doors opened.

"Hey."

"Hey." Elizabeth Weir straightened up and looked over at the man who moved to her side. "Are you supposed to be out of the infirmary yet?"

"I couldn't stand it there anymore," he replied. John Sheppard took a deep breath but avoided eye contact with the brunette. "Did Caldwell leave yet?"

"He leaves tomorrow." She leaned sideways against the railing.

John smirked. "I heard you gave him a pretty hard time."

Shrugging, she smiled, "He deserved it."

Finally, John's hazel eyes found hers. "You know if I didn't… if things… He would have been the one to take my position."

"I know," she softly replied, swallowing hard. "But I knew it wouldn't come to that." As a slightly awkward silence fell between them, she reached out and touched his arm. "My bedside manners may suck but, how are you doing, John?"

"I'd be better if I didn't have to keep apologizing to everyone for things I'm slowly remembering doing over the last few weeks." He turned to face her. "And I owe the biggest apology to you."

"Me? What for?"

He held her gaze while nervously reaching up to touch her neck, to caress the barely visible marks where his once mutated hand had so viciously wrapped itself. He marveled at how she did not move. She did not flinch. No signs of fear crossed her eyes. "I am so sorry, Elizabeth," he whispered so softly she had to strain her ears to hear him.

Elizabeth brought her own hand up to her neck and covered his. "I'm fine, John. You have nothing to apologize for."

Bringing his other hand up to caress her cheek, he shook his head. "I could have killed you. I felt myself wanting to kill you simply because you wouldn't do what I asked." He felt the tears begin to fill his eyes yet he did not care. The kiss with Teyla only created an awkwardness that was easy to write off. He knew it meant nothing and he knew she knew it meant nothing. She could easily have fought him off if he had become dangerous. Elizabeth did not have such an advantage. And he hadn't just kissed Elizabeth. He had wrapped his hand around her neck, slammed her hard against a wall and had wanted to kill her. "You stuck by me," he choked out. "No matter what I said or what I did, you were the only one who didn't back away. Who didn't avoid me and…" He felt the first of the tears slide down his cheek followed by the soft touch of Elizabeth's fingers wiping it away.

"John…" She stopped when she felt the hand around her neck slide around to behind her neck and pull her close. Her arms wrapped around him when she felt him tighten his arms around her. No words she could say would comfort him nearly as much as this simple gesture of trust and intimacy.

They both lost track of time as she held him while his tears subsided. Both knew it was a moment that would never be brought up again between them but it was a moment that answered many unasked questions. It was a moment that assured both of them no matter what happened they would always have each other.

Epilogue:

Three Months Later...

"Ow, John, that really hurt!" Elizabeth panted in an effort to catch her breath while John held her arm.

"I didn't say this was going to be easy. I asked you if you were sure you wanted to do this and you agreed wholeheartedly as I recall." He grinned and pushed aside a lock of sweat-soaked hair from her face.

"And I don't regret any of it." She reached over for a drink of water. "I just didn't think we'd be doing this every single day. I'm not that young anymore you know."

He chuckled and pulled her close to him. "So, you think you can take me again?"

In one swift movement, she brought her leg around and knocked him to the floor where she pinned him to the mat with the long wooden stick Teyla had lent her. "I'd say that would be a yes," she smirked. "I would also say your personal self-defense classes are paying off after all." She stood up and offered her hand to him.

Once face to face with her, he shook his head. "I can beat just about every man on Atlantis so why is it that the only two people I can't beat are women?"

"Well, either you are too much of a gentleman to really fight us like you do the guys or…" She smiled and took a long sip of water before continuing. "Or… we are just smarter than you."

His eyes narrowed but danced with amusement. "I think I'll take option one." He sat beside her on the bench and accepted the bottle she handed him – the one she had just drank out of. Since his recovery from the Wraith virus, they had become much closer. They thought nothing of how much more intimate their actions had become with each other, though not yet on a romantic level.

"John?"

"Hmm?"

Elizabeth had brought one knee up and was resting her chin on it while looking at him. "Thank you for teaching me how to fight. I hope I never have to use it but… well, it will be nice not to feel completely useless should we be attacked or anything again."

"I'm sorry I didn't push teaching you before."

"I wouldn't have accepted your offer before," she replied.

"Touché." He stood up and gathered his things. "Oh, I, um, took the last of your Advil yesterday so we have to stop by Beckett's to get some more."

She laughed as she, too, stood up. "So, I'm not the only old one around, huh?"

"I never said you were old."

"You never said I wasn't either."

"I'm not going to win this, am I?"

Shaking her head and grinning, Elizabeth grabbed her gym bag and walked past him. "Nope. This is one fight I will always win."

John stared after her as she walked away hoping that a verbal fight would be the only fight she would ever have to face. Quickly, he ran to catch up with her, suddenly realizing she wouldn't be the only one needing pain killers that day.