AN: Just a little idea that came to mind :)
I'm also going to take the opportunity to tell those of you who's waiting for an update for Diving Deep - it's coming soon :)
It's no surprise to him when she comes back inside after twenty minutes outside with Swarek, along with her red rimmed eyes and dry tear streaked cheeks and the fact that Swarek's not coming back confirms what he knew would happen. He's been working with them all day and it doesn't require a rocket science's brain to figure out that something isn't right with them. And he suspects it has a lot more with just the loss of a dear friend.
Nick understands Swarek; he really does, because he was that guy. He's done what Swarek has five years earlier, broke the heart of the girl who loved him because something didn't feel right. Something that could easily turned into nothing if they'd been honest from the start. Nick also knows Swarek will worry about her, girlfriend or not, his feelings aren't going to change – Nick knows that.
When the lingering smell of her wears off his clothes, his sheets and when her stuff will no longer be tossed around his place he's going to miss her. As he thinks back, Nick tightens his hold around Gail's waist and pulls her closer.
Nick knows why Swarek is doing this, he also knows that he will regret he'd hurt her, but more than that; he will regret that he let her go. As selfish as it is, it's the truth. And the truth hurts, that's why it's easier to deny it.
He doesn't say anything when she comes to say goodbye, Traci and Gail doesn't notice the hurt on her face and he doesn't blame them either. But he sees it. Because he's seen that kind of hurt before, the hurt expression on Gail's face when he left her.
Nick hates himself for what he did to Gail, what she became because of him, because he broke her heart. So right in that second he decides he's going to Swarek a favor before it's too late. He knows it's not going to be easy for them – he knows better than anyone. He also knows better than anyone that it's worth it. Worth every step down the confusing and bumpy road.
Two days later he's paired with Andy, he doesn't say anything about it, but he sees the lost stare in her eyes. Sees the dark circles under them. He feels her heart race when Swarek approaches them slowly, like he's afraid she'll run before he gets out what he wants to ask. Nick steps back to give them some space, but stays within ears reach.
"The keys. To the truck. It's my only other set so I should probably get those back." He hears Swarek say and Nick rolls his eyes at him, because Nick did the same, Nick was that guy all those years ago.
"Yeah, yeah of course." Andy says next, and Nick has to give it to her, she doesn't sound surprised or hurt by it. But the eye sees something else and when Andy brushes past him to retrieve the keys from her locker he sees that Swarek saw it too.
Swarek can't even meet her eyes when she drops the key down in his palm.
After shift Nick's standing in the locker room when Swarek steps inside, ignores him and Chris who's a couple of lockers down from him.
"I know you and detective Barber were friend and I know this thing with you and Andy is gotta be tough, but whatever you're going through – you need to deal with it."
That's the first low blow Nick thinks, he knows Swarek deserves it, but he also knows it's not going to help. Swarek ignores him, gets changed and leaves; Chris looks briefly over to Nick and shrugs his shoulders.
The second low blow comes at the Penny one hour later, Swarek sitting next to Jerry's seat, sipping to his scotch when Luke comes to stand next to him. Nick is seated a couple of stools further down and he hears what Luke tells Swarek.
"You're an idiot. And if you don't figure that out soon you're going to lose Andy for good. Take it from me."
Nick knows that Swarek also knows he deserves it but like Nick knows; the truth hurts and it's easier to deny it. So Swarek snorts at him, throws back his scotch in one gulp and leaves.
When Gail is lying sleepily in his cheap sheets, curled up against him, he kisses her forehead and slips out of bed. Gail props herself up on one elbow and watches him with curiosity as he digs out a book from a box on a shelf in his bedroom.
"God, you still have that?" She asks when she recognizes the book.
Nick turns his head, smiles and nods to her.
"That's one of the most douchey thing you've ever done to me, giving me that book."
"I know." Nick says.
"It doesn't work you know." Nick smiles at that. He's grateful of that.
"I know." He repeats.
"Swarek is going to kill you." Gail states as she watches him place the book on his duffel bag and comes walking back to bed.
"I'm not afraid of Swarek."
"Are you afraid of anything?" Gail mocks.
Nick takes a shuddering breath and tucks a blonde lock behind Gail's ear.
"Yeah, I was scared to death to lose you. Us. This."
Gail curls her hand around his neck and pulls him down to her lips.
"Me too." She murmurs before she presses her lips softly to his.
In parade the day after Nick gives the book to Andy, he makes sure the cover of the book is turned towards Swarek and he makes sure Swarek is paying attention to them.
'Good Riddance: How to Ditch that Loser and Keep Smiling'
Andy looks confused down at the book, but doesn't say anything. Nick sees the clenching in Swarek's jaw and smiles to himself.
The morning after when Nick is seated in the driver's seat of Gail's car, her fingers interlaces with his over the gear stick, parked outside of Andy's building. Gail smiles a knowing smile over at Nick when Andy comes out, duffel bag slung over her shoulder and a box in her hands. She fumbles to get the door open and when she finally does she sits in the middle of the backseat with the box on her lap, staring down at its contains.
Nick sees in the rear view mirror that she takes out a black t-shirt and shoves it down in her duffel bag with a sad face. Nick smiles softly even if Andy doesn't see it and brushes his thump over the back of Gail's hand as they drive towards the station.
Before Andy goes to change she walks directly into the bull pen, right up to Swarek seated at his desk with Oliver. Swarek looks curiously at her when he first notice her, but when he notes the box in her hands and her path directed at him he winces. Nick knows his thoughts exactly 'I had that one coming'. Nick thought that himself when he got his box back, although it had to be said that a lot of his stuff wasn't to any good use any longer since Gail had poured liquor over his stuff, lighten a match and let it drop down only to burn most of the stuff.
Nick's standing with Gail making coffee when they see Andy leave her desk and heads towards the locker rooms, but what really steals his attention is the way Swarek is watching her and then her desk. Then he sees what Swarek is seeing, the book, bookmarked on a page. As discrete as possible they watch as Sam walks over and open the book to the marked page, they see the hurt expression on his face – the same hurt he'd seen on Andy the past days.
When Sam's seated at his desk, and Andy comes back from the locker rooms Nick walks over to her; picks up the book and opens it on the bookmarked page.
"Return his stuff – don't keep anything."
Again Nick smiles at her, Andy pretends she has no idea what his stare means, but Nick knows she does.
A week after that Traci corners him in the exercise room of the station, Nick barely overhears the conversation from where he's standing outside the slightly open door.
"I know what you're doing Sam, but just so you know, if Jerry were here he would have called you an ass. So on Jerry's behalf; you're an ass." Nick hears Traci say, he doesn't know Traci well but he admires her strength through all this. He doesn't hear Swarek say anything back.
"Take it from me, live every day as it is your last 'cause you'll never know-" Her sobs cuts the rest of her words, and when Nick looks inside the slightly open door he sees Swarek's arms wrapped around Traci, hands rubbing up and down in an attempt to soothe her.
"Live every day, Sam. With Andy or not, I hope you don't choose the latter, but just please- "Another sob stops her and she doesn't say anything more, neither does she need to.
After shift that day Sam goes to the cemetery, but he doesn't step outside of his truck, he can't do it alone. So he beats the time with thinking, thinks about his life and what he wants. And the only thing he's sure of is that he wants her.
With Traci's words replaying in his mind he puts the truck in drive and speeds the familiar road to Andy's apartment. He looks up at her windows and sees that it's dark, but he can't wait anymore so he runs the steps two at the time and pounds on her door.
It doesn't take long for the door to open and the sight that meets him, her in his t-shirt; it causes him to let out a breath he knows she's still holding.
The annoyed expression in her face softens after eying him for a few seconds.
"You ok?" She asks and Sam shakes his head.
She doesn't hesitate to open the door for him to step inside, closes the door behind them and leans her back against it as she watches him stand still inside.
"I made a mistake," he says and turns to face her, a pleading look on his face.
Andy shakes her head slightly. "Sam…"
"I know I said you won't get rid of me without a fight and you won't Andy."
She doesn't say anything, doesn't even look at him, so he lets out a sigh.
"I know it's only words to you right now…I'm going to show you Andy, but I need your help. I can't do it alone."
Her eyes snap up to his, wide and with tears.
"We have a lot more to work on than just Jerry," she reminds him and he's fast to nod.
"Yes, there's no rush, Andy." He sees the hesitation as soon as the words leave his lips so he's hurries to explain. "There's no rush as long as I'm with you. I want to fight through the hard times with you."
She shrugs her shoulders, and he fears he's too late, but then a small smile comes to sight. "So how do we start?"
Sam swallows hard and takes a step towards her. "I need to visit Jerry, but I can't do it alone." He says in almost a whisper.
"Do you want me to come with you or do you need me to?"
"Both." He answers immediately after her question.
She takes his hand in hers and gives it a squeeze.
"Okay."
Nick is seated with Gail and the rest of the rookies at the Penny after shift when he sees Swarek and Andy walk in. Together. He lets out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, he looks over at Gail when he feels her squeeze his thigh under the table and meets her with a smile.
Nick knows the road isn't easy, but it's worth it.
Thanks for reading and don't be shy to leave your thoughts :)