This was another mailing list challenge: Write a story with nothing but dialogue. Not to give away the kicker, but I enjoy cheap toys and cheap ploys to get a laugh.
Speak Up!
"You're not a very interesting dinner companion, Sarah."
"..."
"You haven't said a single word to me since I brought you out of that oubliette."
"..."
"Haven't your parents taught you any manners? You're dining with a *King*. Show a little decency."
"..."
"At least look at me when I talk to you."
"..."
"Look at me!"
"..."
"Well, then. I suppose you don't want any of this delicious roast, then. Hmmm?"
"..."
"I'm trying very hard to control my temper, Sarah. Your unresponsiveness is getting on my nerves. Here, have some fried vegetables."
"..."
"Damn you! I've *killed* for being less insulted that I am now!"
"..."
"I ought you throw you back into that oubliette! Wouldn't it be interesting to see how long you could live without food or water?"
"..."
"I'm threatening your life. At least pretend to be afraid!"
"..."
"Do you *really* have a death wish, my dear girl?"
"..."
"FINE. Do as you will, then. Don't forget to send me a postcard from the afterlife."
"..."
"You know, Sarah, I think that maybe I should try to find some real dinner companions."
"..."
"Sarah, you're a lovely rubber chicken, but your conversational skills leave much to be desired."
Speak Up!
"You're not a very interesting dinner companion, Sarah."
"..."
"You haven't said a single word to me since I brought you out of that oubliette."
"..."
"Haven't your parents taught you any manners? You're dining with a *King*. Show a little decency."
"..."
"At least look at me when I talk to you."
"..."
"Look at me!"
"..."
"Well, then. I suppose you don't want any of this delicious roast, then. Hmmm?"
"..."
"I'm trying very hard to control my temper, Sarah. Your unresponsiveness is getting on my nerves. Here, have some fried vegetables."
"..."
"Damn you! I've *killed* for being less insulted that I am now!"
"..."
"I ought you throw you back into that oubliette! Wouldn't it be interesting to see how long you could live without food or water?"
"..."
"I'm threatening your life. At least pretend to be afraid!"
"..."
"Do you *really* have a death wish, my dear girl?"
"..."
"FINE. Do as you will, then. Don't forget to send me a postcard from the afterlife."
"..."
"You know, Sarah, I think that maybe I should try to find some real dinner companions."
"..."
"Sarah, you're a lovely rubber chicken, but your conversational skills leave much to be desired."