Disclaimer: I don't own SPN. This is based of a book I read called "Who's The Alchemist" and a comic from the 90's.
Sam walked in the motel with dinner. He set it down and flopped onto the broken down bed. Dean was watching him with an unsettling look in his green eyes. He looked really, really, smug about something.
Sam looked at Dean uncertaintly. "A new hunt?
Dean smirked and picked up some papers next to him. He shuffled through them and before Sam could get a good look at them, he set them down and leaned back on his chair.
"There's no need to be so worried Sammy, it's a pretty easy hunt." Dean said with a dangerous smile.
Sam stared doubtfully and wondered if he should check Dean with some holy water. The look Dean was giving him made him feel like he was a monster Dean just caught.
"So, I just got some info that a girl was found in her room dead. Say's they found her with a gun in her hand and was shot in the head-" Dean started but was cut off by Sam.
"Ok, so why is this our kinda gig? Sound pretty normal to me." Sam said impatiently.
Dean cast him an annoyed glare. "Well if you would let me finish, it says she shot herself in her head, three times. I don't know about you but that sounds like our kinda gig."
Sam sighed and nodded. "Ok, when and where are we going?"
Dean grinned and that unsettling look returned to his eyes. "Ok, we're all gonna-"
"Wait, what? What do you mean all of us? It's gonna be you and me like always right?" Sam said in confusion.
Dean cast him a side glance and continued," Nah, some others are gonna be working on this case with us."
"Well who? Bobby? Joe?" Sam asked.
"Nah none of them," Dean dismissed. "They- well they got some interesting nicknames they go by, so keep up, ok Sammy?"
Sam nodded and wondered what the hell's going on. Dean hates working with others, so why now? Maybe he really should get that holy water…
"Ok, let's hear them." Sam finally said.
Dean smirked, again, and said, "Ok, I'll start with the easy names. Who is the hunter, What is the researcher, I Don't Know is the medic-"
Sam stared and wondered what the hell Dean was talking about. "Wait, wait, say it again."
Dean sighed and rolled his eyes, yet he still was smirking, "Who's the hunter, What's the researcher, I Don't Know is the medic-"
"I thought you knew there names Dean!" Sam shouted, slightly frustrated.
Dean raised a brow and said smoothly," I do. And i'm trying to tell you, but you keep interrupting me."
"You aren't telling me anything, Dean!" Sam shouted getting mad. What the hell was Dean trying to pull?
"Ugh, I'll say it again," Dean muttered, though he didn't sound mad at all.
"Who's the hunter, What is the researcher I Don't Kn-" Is as far as Dean got.
"What the hell are you talking about Dean!"
Dean flashed him grin that showed teeth and Sam had to hold himself back from punching Dean. "Fine, start at the hunter. Who is the hunter?"
"Yep"
Sam growled and clenched his hand, "I mean, tell me the hunter's name."
"Who."
"The hunter's!"
"Who."
"The guy who's gonna help us hunt!"
"Who."
"The hunter!"
Dean sighed and sat back in his chair. "Ya know Sam, I figured with you going to Stanford and all, you'd be able to get this faster. How can you get the job done if you can't even grasp this?"
Sam took a deep breath and once again stopped himself from punching Dean. "Dean, I'll ask you one more time, what is the hunter's name."
Dean frowned and shook his head. "No, What is the researcher."
Sam growled out, "Dean! Are you even listening!? I'm not asking who's the researcher!"
"No, Who is the hunter."
"One at a time Dean!" Sam growled running his hand through his long hair. "Quit messing with me! If we got a case, then we need to work, not play games!"
"Geez, calm down Sam. I'm not playing any games, I'm trying to tell you the people working the case with us but you keep stopping me." He stopped and flashed Sam another grin, "I guess I understand your if your puny brain can't get this-"
"You're just being too unclear. Just tell me the damn name of the hunter already!"
"Who."
"I just told you, who's the damn hunter!"
"Yep, and he's a pretty good hunter too."
"Who is?"
"Yep."
"But what's his name?"
"No, What's the researcher."
Sam sprang up from the bed and yelled,"I'm not asking about the damn researcher, i'm asking who!?"
"Who is the hunter."
"I don't know!"
Dean shook his head, "No, he is the Medic, but we're not talking about that dumbass right now."
Sam groaned and sat back down. What the hell was Dean working at? Sam's face was red and tensed in anger and confusion. And Dean was red from trying to hold in his laughter. The man's shoulder were shaking in effort to keep it in. Sam took another deep breath.
"When did we even get to the medic, Dean?"
"Well duh, when you said his name." Dean said with a roll of his eyes.
'Obviously,' Sam thought, snorting and rolling his eyes.
"Whose name?"
"No, Who is the hunter."
"I-what? What the hell Dean!?"
"What is the researcher Sam. Geez, you forget that already."
"But who-"
"Who's the hunter."
"I don't know!"
"Ugh, keep up Sammy! He's the medic."
And they were somehow back to the freaking medic. Sam, unlike what Dean said, wasn't an idiot. He knew somehow Dean was screwing with him. Sam just needing to figure out how. Sam sat there trying to think of something.
"Wait, are there any girls? With you, girls are somehow always involved."
"Yep. She's pretty hot too."
Sam grinned, "Great! Tell me her name!"
"Why."
Sam's grinned dropped and felt a little offended," Well geez Dean, you don't gotta be such a jerk about it. I was just asking!"
"Yeah, and I was telling you it bitch."
"Ok, then who's the girl?"
"No, Who is the hunter."
He cuffed Dean in the back of his head and was slightly satisfied till Dean just gave him an amused grin in response.
"Just stick with the girl, Dean!"
"Ok, no need to hit me Sammy."
"What's the name of the girl?."
"What is the name of the researcher."
"Really! Back to the researcher again! I never even brought up who-"
"Who is the hunter."
"I DON'T KNOW!"
"No, that's the-"
"MEDIC! I KNOW! Stay off of the medic, Dean!"
Dean chuckled, "Well, that kinda hard since you keep bringing him up, Sammy."
"Just tell me the name of the girl you jerk!"
"Why."
"BECAUSE!"
Dean's eyes lit up. "Ah, so you've already met the preach?"
Another slap to the back of the head is what Dean got responded with.
'Ok Sam,' Sam thought. 'Dean's just messing with your head. Calm down and think.'
"Ok," Sam grounded out, "Is there someone in charge of the hunt?"
"Yep!" Dean said gleefully, which scared the crap out of Sam.
"So the person's name is…?"
"Tomorrow."
Sam's eye brow twitched, "You can't tell me today?"
Dean's shoulders started shaking in silent laughter again. "I'm telling you today Sammy. I'm telling you right now. You sure you don't need that medic Sammy?"
"Then tell me their name!"
"Tomorrow."
"At what time?"
"What do you mean?"
"What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's the leader-"
"Who isn't the leader. He's the-"
Sam jumped up and threw a punch that Dean narrowly missed. "I WILL PUNCH YOU IF YOU SAY WHO'S THE HUNTER!"
Dean just sat there staring at Sam with a smirk. His eyes were sparkling with mischief, and his shoulders were shaking in what Sam bet was anything but fear.
"In that case, we'll need that medic sooner than we thought."
Sam was about to punch him again but thought of something. He really hoped he was right otherwise he'd be making a fool of himself.
"Ok, let's say, hypothetically of course, me and those people you know got together and got the hunt over with. We can't wait till tomorrow to do the hunt, so me and the hunter go right ahead and deal with the hunt. And since I'm a better hunter than most hunters, I'll have to watch his back, and if he does something stupid, I'll go to the leader of the hunt to lecture who?"
"Wow, that's the first thing you've said right since you got back."
"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I JUST SAID!"
Dean chuckled again. "Well that doesn't surprise me considering you can't even learn a couple people's names."
"Shut up jerk!" Sam sank back onto the bed tiredly. He was so done with this conversation.
"So I tell the leader to lecture who?"
"Naturally!"
Sam sat up. "Naturally?" He said doubtfully.
"Naturally." Dean repeated with a grin.
Sam beamed at this. Now he was getting Dean's stupid mind game. The people didn't have names that were not easily found! He would just have to find out the names from what Dean was going on about.
"So," Sam said slowly and carefully, "I gotta tell the leader to lecture Naturally?"
"No!" Dean shouted, his enthusiasm gone. "You would tell the leader to lecture the other hunter."
"So Naturally gets lectured?"
"No, Who gets lectured."
"Naturally!"
"Now your getting it!"
"But that's what I said before!"
Dean sighed and said, "You're making this way to hard on yourself Sammy…"
How was Sam making this hard? If Dean would just tell him the names, they could get on with the hunt! Was there some kinda code? Was there something Dean had said more than once?
Who is the hunter. He kept on saying that. Who's the hunter… Who's the hunter… Who's th- wait... That wasn't a freaking question! It was a STATEMENT! And that means…
Oh, that jerk has a sick sense of humor!
"So," Sam grounded out," Who gets lectured by the leader?"
"Naturally." Dean said easily with a knowing smirk. He knew Sam had figured it out.
Sam could see Dean was seconds away from laughing. And Sam was seconds away from attacking Dean.
"So Tomorrow's gonna lecture Who and Who's gonna- NO! You know what! I don't care! I DON'T FREAKING CARE!"
"Come again Sammy?"
"I SAID I DON'T CARE!"
"Ah! He is the second in command!" Dean said innocently.
Sam yelled in frustration and tried to hit Dean. Dean of course jumped up, dodging Sam's swing, and ran for cover behind his bed. Once Dean was out of his chair, Sam took the papers and read them. All he saw was a new release of Busty Asian Beauties and some kind of script from one of the James Bond movies. Sam felt absolutely livid. He swore he was gonna kill Dean.
"THIS IS JUST PORN AND SOME STUPID MISSION YOU JACKASS!"
Dean just grinned and laid down on his bed. "Well of course Sammy. I make it my daily mission to read porn, and piss you off."
When Dean and Sam came to talk to Bobby the next day, Dean only said "It was worth it" when Bobby asked about Dean's black eye.
Hey! So that was my first Supernatural story, I hope you liked it! If you did, please leave a comment, I'd love to hear your opinion!