A/N: Written for Round 1 of Fire the Canon's Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition, of which I'm Captain for the Wimbourne Wasps. I'd like to note that there is a reference to Gamma Orionis' "Strawberry Kisses" in this, which started my Luna/Ginny love. Just giving her credit. I hope she doesn't mind. Also, the Exploding Snape* idea comes from Sara (Sara Darkotter). She mentioned it once during a RP and I stole it. Also, thank you to Yellow (Yellowtail555) for reading (half :P) of this over for me!
Word count: 2886
Enjoy. Any and all reviews are greatly appreciated!
Sometimes the sun shines a little too bright, so she hides herself beneath the covers in her dorm and tries to list the reasons why.
Why.
But she comes up short on reasons.
Pain and hurt are stiching a knot around her heart and she can't keep the weaving threads at bay.
Maybe it was meant to be this way.
oOo
Today was beautiful, beautiful in the way grey skies bring a certain coolness to the air, beautiful in the way breezes brushed small flowers and carried their fallen petals into dusk, beautiful in the way silence whistled a song between branches in the trees, beautiful in the ways of a coming storm.
Today Ginny took the chance to slip away from the crowded corridor, to be alone. Not to sulk, just to think.
She found a balcony, one that overlooked the grounds and stared off into the distance above the treeline. She perched herself up on the rail, back toward the sky, eyes looking down at her shoes.
"A storm is coming."
Ginny looked up.
Luna walked over to the rail, eyes staring off into the distance. Ginny turned around and the face of a storm cloud could be seen high above the trees. It was dark, disfigured, most likely little more than rain and small bursts of thunder. She turned away from it.
Luna started picking at the paint on the rail, which was chipping away. At the noise, Ginny turned to look.
Luna didn't stop picking, but looked back at Ginny. "You could fall off, you know," she said.
Ginny took a breath in, eyes relaxed and straightened her back. The breeze began to pick up as the seconds wore on. Luna continued to pick at the paint but the noise didn't bother her in the least. Soon enough, her head was in her hands and her back was hunched. She didn't care.
"Why?" Ginny said.
"Hm?" Luna stopped picking to look at her.
"Why are you picking at that?"
Luna turned away, then looked back up. "I don't know. Why are you sitting there?"
"It's better than sitting out there." Ginny jerked her head toward the open corridor. If it were her third or fourth year there would be students talking and possibly laughing and the halls would echo with the sound of many voices. But now the only thing that rung through the school were the sounds of footsteps, the orders of Professors, occasional screams of students put under spells and the voices of either Snape or the Carrows.
Ginny sighed, reached over her shoulder for something to throw but of course there was nothing there. Instead, she gritted her teeth and turned to stare out at the storm with distaste.
"It is, in a way, I suppose." Luna finally stopped picking at the rail.
"In a way?" Ginny turned and scoffed at Luna.
"Well, when you go through the corridors it's mostly silent, which is nice, but it's that way for a bad reason and we all know it. You can't really help but be reminded of that reason. And when you go out onto the grounds it's just mostly the same way, except there's hardly anybody out there and you can't really help but be reminded of what you lost. Sleeping is temporary relief, although there's always the thought of dreams, or nightmares, and when you remember that you realise there's really no such thing as an escape."
Ginny stared at Luna, perhaps a lot longer than normal.
"Thanks," Ginny finally said. She crossed her arms and leaned up against wall supporting the rail, sighing once again.
Minustes passed, a drizzle began to fall. Neither Ginny nor Luna bothered to move.
"What have we lost?" Ginny asked, voice dull and flat. She glanced sideways at Luna.
Luna glanced back at her. "Don't you still think of Harry, or Hermione, or Ron?"
"Yes," Ginny said, definite. "They're not gone." She looked off at the trees, slightly blurred in the rain. "They're out there... Somewhere."
"But they're not here," Luna said. She started to run her fingers over the ridges on the rail.
Ginny hopped down from the rail and ran a hand across the back of her neck. Her hand came away wet with rain, and there was more to come. She crossed her arms and moved away from the balcony, and a few minutes later, Luna followed her, taking one last look at the overcast sky.
"Do you miss him?" Luna asked.
"My life doesn't revolve around Harry, Luna." Ginny closed her eyes. "But of course I do."
The thunder rolled in the background, soft and low, almost soothing in a way. Ginny continued to rub her neck and her eyes remained closed. If she were in her dorm the storm might as well have been playing her a song, sending her to sleep. She daydreamed of the comfort of her bed, if only for a few seconds.
Luna blinked slowly at the clouds, which had hovered overhead and now dropped sheets of rain on the castle. They were light, breathy, almost soft. Ginny turned around and saw that Luna was smiling.
Ginny pulled her across the hall and around a corner. The rain was falling steadily now, pooling near the bottom of the balcony and then flowing off the edge.
"Are you okay?" Ginny asked her.
Luna nodded. "Mhm."
oOo
Needle and thread,
needle and thread,
stitches up another side,
before she goes to bed.
oOo
That night, the fire burned low. Tiny flames flickered and cracked, making the smallest of sounds. The face of Severus Snape shimmered in fresh black ink on several cards spread out on the floor. What at first appeared to be a mighty attempt at drawing had turned into messy outlines and poorly figured facial features. Ginny made a face of approval at her own artisic skills and nodded at herself before placing another card on the floor.
"What do you think?" she asked.
Luna, who was sitting across from her, looked at Ginny's group of cards and smiled. "They're perfect." She dipped her quill in ink, still sketching her own.
Ginny shifted her legs so she sat cross-legged. Her hands gripped her feet, and she fell back against the chair behind her. She looked into the fire, burning into mere ambers, glowing softly in the dark. By this time, the common room was mostly empty, aside from two second years sitting in the far corner, playing a quiet game of Gobstones. Ginny turned away from them when one looked up.
She pushed herself forward so she could fall against the chair again. For a moment, she remembered the evening she sat with Hermione, and her brow furrowed a bit at the hearth. Then she remembered Harry sitting in the chair behind her that same night, and the sickness that felt so familiar these days came back.
"Done."
Ginny jumped slightly, and she sharply inhaled a breath. The word shocked her system, something Luna's voice rarely did, but she quickly recovered and sat up.
Luna stared at her, and opened her mouth. "Ar-"
"I'm fine," Ginny snapped. Luna's mouth hung open, but she quickly closed it.
Ginny gathered up a bunch of cards and set them on her side, face down, and gave Luna an expectant look. Luna did the same and they began their game. Ginny flipped a card up and slapped it face up on the floor. Luna did the same. They kept at a steady pace for a while.
Ginny found herself slipping back into her thoughts, only half of her mind focused on the game and she was either flipping cards up too late or too soon. Her mind skipped to Harry, to Hermione, to Ron, to her family, to Neville, to the Carrows, to Snape, and to Harry and her family from Neville to Luna the war and Voldemort and-
"SNAP!" was the last thing that reached her ears before she was swept onto her back.
Ginny's card exploded, blew into small bits of singed paper, smoking lightly as they floated down onto the floor to burn out. She was staring up at the ceiling, until she blinked and forced herself off her back. Luna's wand was pointed at the floor, as she watched the pieces of burnt playing card fall down around them.
Ginny held a hand out and caught one. She watched it perish between her fingers and then she stood up, brushed her robes clean and sauntered off toward the staircase. Halfway up the steps and no acknowledgment from Luna, Ginny picked up her pace.
"What's wrong?" Luna finally asked.
Ginny gave no answer. Instead, she froze on the steps, clenching her jaw.
Luna got up and moved to stand at the foot of the stairs. "Something's wrong."
Ginny bit on her lower lip, eyes shut tight, then she ran up the stairs, breaking for the girls' dorms. Some feeling of wanting to cry and wanting to scream and wanting to run away and hide before it all happened carried her feet across the floor. She could feel heat swarm her face when she made it to the door. Luna's charm did nothing to stop her.
She ran, collasping near one of the beds.
oOo
Needle and thread,
needle and thread,
The pain has gone to her head.
oOo
Ginny screamed, and for a moment, her throat was on fire. The world was black, all that existed was the pain pounding through her veins and it all hurt too much and soon she was screaming bloody murder and for a moment there were ghosts playing with knifes and they all stood in front of her face, taking turns to bloody her throat everytime she screamed.
She leaned against the bed, closing her eyes. In her mind, she took a walk and found a box just laying there, as though expecting to be opened. She tore the brightly-coloured ribbon off and knew she could get through the paper, but it was harder than she thought and soon her hands were coated in blood and she realised she cut herself and it all hurt too much.
So she couldn't get the paper off and she cried out in pain.
In-
Failure.
Luna stood in the doorway, watching Ginny as she began to cry. Soon she put her wand away and fell to her knees beside her. She hugged her. "It's okay."
"No, it's not." Ginny put a hand to her face, which felt cool against her warm skin. She buried her face in her hand while the other went through her hair, messing it up.
"Hm? Of course it is." Luna hugged her tighter, letting Ginny cry. Rain fell down on Gryffindor tower in a steady but soft sort of drizzle. There was no thunder to accompany it, no wind, nothing but the sound of Luna's voice as she began to quietly hum a song into Ginny's hair, not letting go of her.
That's when Ginny stopped, turning slightly to face Luna. "What...?"
Luna smiled at her. "My mum used to hum to me sometimes, when I couldn't sleep. It always helped." She kept humming. Ginny turned away and rested her head against the side of the bed, listening to Luna's song, quiet and soft, and the rain, which was just the same. Both were soothing in a way.
"We can talk about it, if you want," Luna said after a while. It was still raining. Ginny had fallen half-asleep, but she shook herself awake.
"It really is nothing," Ginny said, brushing hair out of her face with her hand, yawning.
"You're cute when you sleep," Luna said. Ginny gave her a strange look, but Luna only smiled a small smile. "If it's still bothering you, we can talk."
Ginny turned away again, sighing heavily into the bed's messy sheets, eyes closed against it. Luna bent to whisper in her ear. "Breathing may help."
Luna nodded when Ginny gave her another strange look, but she pressed her forehead against the bed, taking in and letting out a few breaths as steadily as she could.
"It sort of cleanses you, in a way," Luna said. "Well, it feels good to breath. It always helps me." She gave Ginny another hug.
Ginny sat still for a moment, still breathing in and out, until she stopped and sat up to look Luna full in the face.
"Remember when we were little, and you did this?" Ginny asked.
"Did what?" She took a breath in. "Breath? Oh, I always do that, just not always when you're around."
Ginny shook her head. "No. This." She jerked her head at the floor, but she still didn't think she was being clear enough.
Luna opened her mouth, but left it to hang open.
"I meant, like..." She took Luna's hands and squeezed them.
Luna glanced at their hands, then looked back up at Ginny, gasping when she began to reply. Ginny quickly shook her head and said, "Comfort... Me?"
Luna's body relaxed, and she smiled. "Oh, that. Yes, I remember that. You could've just said it, you know."
Ginny sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I know."
"Why were you upset?" Luna asked softly. "I know that's how I always used to start years ago."
Ginny glanced out the window, taking in the grey skies, which had seemed to grow darker somehow over the last few minutes, and the flowing raindrops, which were now pounding the window in a way ice would rather than warm water. Everything seemed to correlate with her mood.
Luna ended up speaking for her. "The war?"
Ginny remained silent for a moment, then nodded, eyes still at the window. Luna shifted herself so she could move in front of her, blocking her view of the outside.
"It can be very worrying, I know," Luna said. It took Ginny a moment to realise that they were still holding hands, but some part of her kept her from pulling away. "It's okay to be upset, you know," Luna went on.
"I don't like being upset," Ginny said, voice quiet.
"Nobody does," Luna replied. "But it helps to be upset. Usually letting it out keeps it from building inside, and if that happens, then it can be much worse than it could've been already. Even more unpleasant."
"I know," Ginny mumbled.
Luna smiled. "You can always let yourself be alone, if it makes you most comfortable."
Ginny looked away from Luna, tuning her eyes to the wall, then to the floor.
Luna watched her. "Help isn't a bad thing, though," she said.
Ginny scoffed. "Help need only come when someone's desperate," she said.
"Well, are you desperate?" Luna asked.
"Desperate isn't a postitive term, Luna," Ginny replied, a slight snap to her voice.
"I know it isn't," Luna said. "But it's human nature to be weak sometimes. There are people who are stronger than others and might be able to handle it more, but there's no such thing as someone who can take it all. Some people like to pretend that they can, but they really can't."
Ginny looked down, squeezing her eyes closed. The room went silent for a while, other than the rain falling steadily on the window.
"I'm sure they're okay," Luna finally spoke again. Ginny looked up, and she knew who Luna was talking about.
"Do you remember that day, in the forest, back home?" Ginny asked, voice quiet. She saw Luna go into the same confused daze she had earlier and said, "With the strawberries."
Luna's faced dawned understanding. "Oh, yes. I do." She smiled. "I hadn't known you before that, which is strange, because we lived right next to each other almost. Then a few years later you came to the same spot, and I found you. You were rather sad..."
Ginny nodded. It was the summer after her second year, and when memories of the past school year had become too much she had run off into the woods alone, to cry, to be upset. And then Luna found her, and let her be, but never left her.
"That was years ago..." Ginny said, letting the words fade on her tongue.
"It was, but not too many years ago." Luna smiled, and for a second, the two girls sat in silence. Then Luna saw the look on Ginny's face and wondered. Then it struck. "Oh!" She leaned forward, pressing her lips softly against Ginny's.
For a moment, all was quiet. Everything disappeared. The war, the rain, the worries. It was just Ginny and Luna and nostalgia throwing a blanket around their shoulders. Ginny kissed her back, closing her eyes, thinking for a second that the taste of those same stawberries they'd shared lingered between their lips.
oOo
Needle and thread,
stitches her up one last side,
before she goes to bed.
oOo
Ginny lied alone in her bed that night, lonliness comsuming her thoughts into oblivian until that one memory of the past evening was all she would let herself think about.
And for a moment, she thought, maybe this patchwork heart was a blessing.