Author: Jen
Author's Note: Back to Joey and Rachel. I would love any reviews or feeedback!
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own anything or any of the characters
A/N: Joey mistakenly smashes a hole in the wall dividing his and Rachel's bedrooms. This accidental peephole may bring the two closer than ever.
I come home from work one night and the second I walk through the door I see Joey quickly stand up straight, guilty holding a beam of wood behind his back.
Unfortunately, a week ago he decided to start building himself a new dresser since his has been falling apart - no surprise since his dresser is the same one he had in his parents' house. I give him a look as I carefully place my stuff down on the kitchen island.
"You know that beam is taller than you right," I say since he clearly thinks he's hiding this piece of wood behind his back.
He looks behind himself and then back at me with a flustered expression.
"Ha, of course," he nervously spills and lays the wood on the floor.
"What's going on?" I inquire suspiciously.
He starts to rub the back of his neck while avoiding eye contact.
"Joey," I speak in an accusing tone. I walk over to him which makes him even more unsettled.
"Okay, look I know you're gonna be mad, but it was an accident I swear. And I'll get it fixed right away!" he frets.
"Get what fixed? What did you do?" I scold him with nervous aggravation growing.
"Okay, I was moving this beam and I ... well I didn't realize how close I was to the... wall, so..." he barely explains.
I catch on and run into his room. My eyes widen and my mouth drops in anger and shock. There is a hole punched into the wall dividing our bedrooms. It's maybe the size of two fists.
"Joey! I can't believe you!" I yell in frustration. I kneel down to look through the hole and see my bed on the other side.
I rest my head against the wall, annoyed with the situation.
"I'm gonna fix it. Honestly, don't worry it'll be fixed in no time," he tries to assure me.
I get up to face him again.
"You are sure you know how to fix this?" I test him.
"Yes, I just need to make another trip to the hardware store and it will be good as new," he tells me.
"It better be," I warn him and I point my finger in his face, which he actually backs away from as if threatened by my tiny finger. I feel empowered by his reaction and walk away with my head tall. I walk into my room and stare at the dumb hole staring back at me. I head across the hall to Monica's to cool off and hopefully get some home cooked food.
The next night, I get home and walk into my room to see the same hole exactly as it was. I storm into Joey's room, but he's not there. I angrily make myself a plate of food for dinner as Joey finally comes home.
I cross my arms the second he walks through the door. I cough, a fake annoyed cough to get his attention.
"I know I know, I got all the stuff," he quickly defends and holds up cans from the hardware store.
"What took you so long to go to the store?" I complain.
"I was trying to match the paint! I still don't think I got it though," he explains.
"Joey who cares about the damn paint, just fix the hole!"
His eyes widen, surprised.
"Okay, I will," he says.
When I finish my dinner, I decide to read a book in my room. I really don't feel like hanging out with Joey since I'm still pissed at him. I'm in my room trying to catch up on some reading. I'm reading a new romance novel. I've been getting into them lately, probably because I'm so single right now. I start to get aggravated when I realize Joey still isn't working on the wall, but I do realize it's late and I would prefer he doesn't keep me up all night, so I don't say anything.
After a while, I hear the muted sound of the tv turn off in the living room and I hear Joey's bedroom door open and close as well. I look up at the stupid hole in the wall as I hear him walk through his room. Lying on my bed makes me pretty much eye level with the hole. I try to go back to reading, but Joey is suddenly making too much noise, shuffling through his drawers, what is he even doing? Finally, he quiets down and I go back to reading until a loud thump startles me and I stare up at the hole with renewed aggravation. That is, until Joey walks right in front of the hole. I'm about to yell at him to keep it down until his body turns and suddenly I realize what I'm seeing. Joey is naked, the lower half of his body lines up perfectly with my view through the hole and I'm staring at his penis. Oh god, that's his penis! My eyes widen as I stay frozen in place. He bends down, picking up underwear or whatever clothes I assume he just took off. In another second he takes a step somewhere else and this newly appointed peephole into his room goes back to showing the empty foot of his bed.
I stay still as a rock, my hands haven't even moved from the page I was flipping in my book. Well, I just saw my friend's penis. Alright, it's fine. Things happen, it's not like I was trying to see it. I didn't make that damn hole in the wall. Okay, nothing to freak out about. I mean I saw Joey's dick - so what? It didn't look too bad - so what? Everyone is a little curious about their friends and other people's bodies. It's not like I went out of my way to look, it was an accident. I look down at my book and try to focus on the small typed words. I keep picturing it.
"Ew, stop," I say out loud to myself and slam my book closed. I get up and press my fingertips to my temples trying to erase the image from my mind. Why do I keep seeing it? Alright, I'm probably just horny, because I haven't had sex in a few weeks - I'm leaving. I walk out of my room and across the hall, straight to Monica's.
I know I was supposed to get my mind off Joey's anatomy, but of course I have to tell her, she's my best friend.
"Well, now we've both seen it," Monica responds lightheartedly after I tell her my strange news.
Monica told me the story a long time ago of how Joey stripped naked the first time they met because he thought she was inviting him in for sex. Typical Joey, I think and I laugh remembering the story, even though I'm really annoyed with him right now.
"Yeah, I guess Phoebe's gotta get on board," I cringe at my awkward joke, but Monica smiles.
"You don't think she has?" Monica challenges my joke.
My eyebrows lift instantly.
"You think she has?"
Monica tilts her head from side to side as if weighting the possibility.
"I mean I just figured she has, they are so oddly close," she says.
"But we're all close," I argue with her theory.
"Yeah, but it's Joey and Phoebe. I mean they do stuff all the time we don't know about. They have dinner once a month, we just found out about that. I wouldn't put it past them to say she's probably already seen it for some weird reason," she explains.
I never considered this, but out of everyone in the group Phoebe and Joey are the most plausible pair to think seeing each other naked is the most normal thing.
"I guess they are both immensely comfortable with their bodies," I point out as I'm still thinking it over.
Monica just nods with a chuckle.
"Well, anyway I really came here to get my mind off it. Do you think I have to tell him?" I suddenly ask.
"Tell him what?" Monica asks.
"What I saw," I clarify.
"No! He will never let you live it down. Besides, he should have gotten the hole fixed by now. It's his fault for being lazy," Monica justifies.
I nod in agreement.
"Alright, I better get to bed," she states.
"Me too," I say.
I hug her to thank her for always staying up with me. I head back to my apartment to get some sleep. Tomorrow is finally Friday. I'm excited for the weekend to be here.
The next night, I come home from work ready to relax for a few days until I see the stupid hole still in my bedroom wall. Now, in getting furious with Joey. What is taking him so long, he has all day to fix this!
I hear him walk through the front door and I march over to him.
"What are you doing? Why isn't the damn wall fixed!" I screech in a high pitched tone.
"I know, I'm sorry," he says hurriedly.
"What the hell were you doing all day?"
"I had an audition and then I had to go back to the store cause I realized I bought the wrong plaster," he tells me.
I let out a tired breath.
"Joey, I'm serious I need you to fix it now," I demand.
He hesitates before answering, with another guilty expression.
"Okay, but I actually have a date tonight..." he says softly.
"Joey," I stare at him in disbelief.
"Come on, please Rach. I promise that I will fix it tomorrow, I swear - really," he pleads.
I breathe out a frustrated sigh.
"Please, just one more night... she's really hot," he whines with a pouting face.
I grunt and roll my eyes.
"Fiiinnnnee," I give in, annoyed.
"Thank you," he celebrates and hugs me, squeezing me around my crossed arms since I refuse to hug him back.
"But I'm getting in bed tomorrow night to a closed and perfect wall," I declare.
"Definitely," he confirms.
It's nearly midnight and I can't sleep. Joey is on his date and I'm alone in the apartment. I don't know why I can't sleep, maybe it's from being so frustrated with Joey the past few days or maybe I'm a bit sad and jealous that Joey has a date tonight and I don't. I honestly should have called Phoebe to go out and try to meet some guys, but I just wasn't in the mood. I wanted to relax and now I'm sitting in bed, tired and bored.
I decide to read my book. I start reading and it's really starting to get juicy. The main characters are finally getting together and I'm completely enveloped in the book until I hear the front door unlocking.
I figure it's only Joey coming home from his date, but then I hear a women giggling and Joey shushing her. I hear them both stumble towards Joey's room. He's usually really good with not bringing girls back here especially when I could be home. But I know I can't say anything, so I try to focus on my book.
Unfortunately, because of the damn hole he never fixed, I can hear them perfectly. Every sound is traveling right through the stupid opening in the wall. I hear them kissing and the sheets on the bed shuffling. I feel so uncomfortable, but also even more envious because all these sounds are so familiar and I want someone to fall onto the bed with, kissing me. I want a date and a man and sex. Geez, I must be horny. Okay, stop paying attention to them, focus on your book and drown them out.
I continue reading my book and I think I'm falling right back into the text. The man is kissing the woman for the first time, it's sweet and romantic. They are taking a cab back to her place. They are in the bedroom and he's kissing her neck. She starts moaning and I can hear the character moaning. Wow I'm so involved in this fictional world it's like I really hear - oh shit. I'm not hearing the character moan in my mind, I'm actually hearing Joey's date moaning on the other side of the wall.
"You got to be kidding me," I breathe aloud and jump out of my bed. I run across the hall.
The next morning I drag my feet back across the hall. I walk into the apartment.
Joey sees me in my pajamas, holding my pillow.
"Where'd you go?" he asks confused.
"I slept on Monica's and Chandler's couch last night," I grumble at him as I start walking to my room. I stop right next to him when he presses further.
"Why?"
"Why? You want to know why?" I lean into him, staring right at him. He leans back in his seat to try to create more space between us.
"How about because I now have a sound hole in my wall to listen to every second of you and your date last night," I breathe angrily in his face.
"Oh, sorry," he breathes shyly.
I shake my head and throw my hand up to say, what can we do. I continue walking to my room.
"I wouldn't have brought her back here, but her apartment was just painted," he calls after me.
"Okay," I mumble, not turning back around.
I throw my pillow back on my bed and turn around to find Joey at my doorframe.
"I really am sorry. I'm fixing the wall today and I won't bring any other girls here," he keeps apologizing, making me feel bad now.
I sigh.
"No, it's fine you're allowed to bring your dates here. It was only loud because of the hole, just fix it please," I speak gently.
"I am, it'll be done by the afternoon," he tells me and I nod.
He goes to start on the wall and I take a nap for a few hours. I wake up and sit up in my bed. The hole is finally filled. My side isn't painted but I can smell fresh paint and I assume Joey is painting his side since I was sleeping.
I walk into his room and see him putting on another coat of paint.
"Thank you," I say softly and sit on the edge of his bed as he puts the brush down and starts closing the jar of paint.
"See, I told you it would be done, are you happy Rachel again?" he asks.
I smile at that.
"Yes I'm happy. Happy there will be no more sex noises, no more penises, no more stupid hole," I breathe, relieved.
He stops, looking up at me.
"Penises? You saw ... you saw us last night too?"
I freeze, oh shit.
"No, no I didn't mean that-" I start, getting insanely flustered. Joey gets up from the floor.
"Really no, I didn't see anything I was just saying-that I could have-"
"I didn't know you were into... watching," Joey grins wickedly.
I stand up from his bed, humiliated from his assumption.
"No! I'm not, I am not into that, I wasn't watching or looking at all! Ew, no!" I spill out hurriedly.
"Hey, I'm not judging. I mean I maybe would have liked a heads up-" he starts. My face is beating so red it's nearly burning.
"Joey stop! I don't want to watch anyone, I didn't see anything last night. I was trying to say... I could have saw something... like a penis," I try to cover up my mistake.
He doesn't seem to believe my lame attempt.
"Okay, but if you ever want to-" he begins to suggest something, but I can't even bare to hear what he might be suggesting.
"No, no to whatever you're about to say!" I shout over him.
He keeps smiling at me.
"I didn't watch you guys, really that's gross," I continue to attempt to save my reputation.
"Then, when else would you have seen a penis through this wall?" he challenges and I'm so desperate for him not to believe I like watching people have sex that I just blurt out the truth.
"A few days ago!"
He freezes with his eyebrows raised.
Now, my stomach is knotting a jungle inside of me and I can feel myself sweating from how nervous and embarrassed I am.
"You saw...me?" he tries to clarify, still amused with this whole situation.
"It was an accident, I guess you were changing. I mean you walked in front of it and I looked up for a second, I didn't mean to see anything okay," I start rambling.
I wipe my forehead and look back at him, he's just smiling at me. Of course, he's loving this. I should have known him finding out would be the worst thing.
"You know if you wanted to keep the hole-" he begins and I stop him yet again.
"No. Joey stop, really, it's not funny," I warn him, but this time he's not frightened by my threats.
"Alright, I'll stop, but can you just tell me one thing?" he asks and I roll my eyes knowing I'm going to hate whatever he's about to ask.
"What?" I force out.
"Did you like what you saw?" he grins.
Of course he would ask that. The truth is, it was ... nice. I was maybe, mildly impressed if I took away the embarrassment and shock I was feeling. But I realize if I answer honestly, Joey will get the biggest ego and really never let me live it down.
So, instead I smirk back at him and then shrug my shoulders.
"Eh, it was okay," I respond plainly.
His face drops.
I walk out of his room and he quickly follows me. I can't help, but smile widely.
"Wait, what do you mean okay? What was bad?" he presses. I bite back my smile and turn around to face him again.
"I don't know, I'm not going to describe it," I argue.
"You wanna see it again," he offers.
"Joey, no" I stop him as fast as I can. "Don't be gross."
"I'm not being gross, just tell me what was so bad," he tries again. Now, I'm wondering if this is any better than if I had just boosted his ego.
"I never said anything was bad. I just said it was okay. You don't need to make this a big deal," I tell him.
He looks disappointed and I can't believe he's taking this so seriously.
"Joey, it was fine. It was good okay, you're all good down there," I say awkwardly.
He doesn't seem to believe me and shakes his head.
"Fine, whatever," he mumbles and walks back into his room. Now, I feel bad, but what am I going to do, shower him with compliments about his dick? He probably wouldn't believe me at this point anyway. I decide to just get changed and go down to the coffee shop.