Zutara Month Fic: December 15th (Caught)

A/N: For Ana, who awakened my Zutara passion like no other 3

Katara had been lucky with the pregnancy. Their last tryst had coincided well with the last time Aang had been home, so when she started loosening her tunics it was easy enough to prepare Aang for his first bout of fatherhood. He'd smiled so big for so long after she told him that she actually thought his face might stick like that. Toph had said it'd be a good look. Despite all the jokes though, she couldn't be as joyful as her friends and husband because every time she'd felt her stomach she couldn't help but wonder who's child would really be born- the Avatar's or the Fire Lord's.

They were always very discreet in their meetings, never staying together for more than a night, and leaving large gaps in between. It wasn't as though she didn't love Aang, he was her most trusted friend and the war had brought them closer than ever, but she too often found herself treating him as she would her brother not her lover. Zuko offered something more, something different, and she'd tried to push away this knowledge from the first time they'd connected in the tunnels of Ba Sing Se, but to no avail. Eventually her emotions had gotten the better of her and the words came tumbling out, bitter and shameful, only to be silenced by kiss that led to many more that night. All inhibitions melted in that moment and she realized that at the very least, she loved Zuko just as much as Aang, though perhaps in a different capacity. They'd agreed that ignoring their affections would only allow them to lead half-lives, and so began their meetings, blissful nights of stolen moments and never could be's.

Now, as she stood in their meeting spot holding a small bundle swaddled in fur, she wondered if it had been worth the risk.

"Shh shh," she said, rocking the baby back and forth each time it started to whimper. She was used to the biting cold but a newborn like the one she held had no place away from the warmth of a home.

Katara looked down into the girl's eyes and smiled wistfully; instead of the misty grey of Aang's or the clear blue of her own the child had bright golden eyes that looked like two tiny suns staring up at her. Fire Nation eyes, her mind told her, and she felt her stomach twist. She'd hoped that the baby would be born with at least some resemblance to her, or in an ideal world Aang, and she'd gotten her wish in a warped sort of way. At that moment, her brother sat in their home nursing a small, dark skinned baby, another girl, with eyes beautiful sea blue eyes and a wail that probably had Sokka pulling out his wolftail by now.

Katara hadn't told anyone when she went into labor but her grandmother, old and frail as she was, knew something was amiss and had come to help during the delivery. First came the one that took after her, and the sound of her cries had definitely spooked some penguin seals in the area. Then came this one, far more quiet but just as energetic as her sister. Katara had known from the moment she saw the child's eyes that she had only one option, but the reality of it hadn't hit her until she stood in the ice cavern, waiting for the Fire Lord to arrive.

"Katara?" A familiar voice said. Katara's mouth went dry as she turned to face the father of the child she held.

"Zuko…."

"I came as fast as I could, what-" Zuko's words were cut off as the baby made another, slightly louder, noise of discomfort.

"She's already been fed," Katara said, cutting to the quick, "But she'll be hungry again in a few hours. There's enough milk in the bag to get you back to the Fire Nation,"

Zuko just stared at her, frozen in disbelief.

"I don't understand…" he trailed, looking from her to the infant.

"It isn't complicated," she snapped, "She's your's. Look at her eyes,"

The Fire Lord walked over, almost shakily, peering down at the child.

"...How?"

"I don't know," she said shaking her head, "She has a sister, and she looks like me but her…." She looked down to the pale, golden eyed baby. "If they'd even been brown I could have kept her, could have explained it away, but gold eyes don't just show up in the Southern Water Tribe…..." She cleared her throat and blinked away the tears that had been pooling.

"Which is why she has to go with you," Katara said firmly, pushing the baby into Zuko's unwilling arms.

"What?! No, I can't-" Zuko stuttered as he tried to cradle the baby. "I don't have a wife, or a girlfriend, Katara I'm the Fire Lord."

"And I'm the Avatar's wife," She said, her tone level, "And if word got out that the Avatar's daughter looks more like the head of the Fire Nation than him, things will go very badly- for both of us."

Zuko held her gaze for a long moment, then looked down at the child in his arms.

"What's her name?" He asked, and Katara furrowed her brow.

"I...I hadn't thought of one…."

More accurately she'd avoided naming the baby, knowing it would make this moment all that much harder if she became more attached.

"What about Izumi?" Zuko said, now completely enamored with the tiny, cooing bundle.

Katara swallowed thickly, and opened her mouth to speak, but the words caught in her throat when she heard another voice speak from the mouth of the cavern.

"I like it," Aang said, stepping further into the space.

Katara's heart was in her throat. She glanced frantically from Zuko to the now visible Aang, and it seemed to drop several degrees.

"It fits." Aang's expression was unreadable, which as far as Katara was concerned wa far scarier than if he'd shown some emotion.

"How….how much did you hear?" She asked, hoping maybe just maybe…..

"Enough." His responses were cutting her to the core.

"Aang I never meant…..I didn't want to hurt you."

Aang's laugh echoed throughout the cavern and somehow the reverb made it sound even more hollow.

"Never meant to hurt me?" he asked, his tone finally coloring with anger, "What do you think I am now Katara? Fine?!"

"Aang-" Zuko began, but the Avatar held his hand up.

"Don't. Please. I'm barely keeping myself out of the Avatar state as is." Aang breathed deeply and turned to face Katara again.

"Do you love me?" He asked, his voice low and measured.

"Of course," she said, without hesistation.

"Do you love Zuko?" Katara hesitated, but Aang pushed forward. "Answer the question Katara."

"Yes."

Aang nodded and Katara thought it was done but then he spoke again.

"Are you in love with me?"

She thought her heart would break right there. She bit her lip and snuck a glance at Zuko, who stood quietly, rocking the baby back and forth.

"Aang I-"

"Please Katara," He implored, "Just tell me."

Katara swallowed thickly and the silence stretched for what seemed like eons.

"...No."

It was as if the weight of a polar bear dog had been lifted off her. She'd been living with that for so long, since the war ended, and to finally say it out loud was more freeing than she could have imagined.

"But you are in love with him."

Katara sighed. It was redundant to answer but it was what he needed to hear.

"Yes."

They all stood, Aang looking at Katara, Katara looking between him and Zuko and Zuko devoting most of his attention to Izumi. It occurred to her that he might actually make a decent father.

"The monks taught us forgiveness is always the response to injury," Aang said, taking slow, deliberate breaths, "And I'm sure someday I'll be able to live up to that. But I don't think that's possible right now. I don't….think I can be around you right now. Either of you."

"Let Katara come with me," Zuko said, finally breaking his silence and earning him incredulous looks from the other two, "What? Look, I grew up without a mother, I won't…..I don't want that to happen to anyone else. Not if I can help it."

The two men looked to her and she toyed with the idea. She could go, maybe take the other one with her, people would believe they were both Zuko's quicker than they'd believe they were Aang's. But the scandal it would cause, the Avatar's wife running off with the Fire Lord, the world had changed since Zuko had come to power but not that much.

"No," she said, the strength coming back to her voice, "I can't. I grew up without a mom too, and I don't want….Izumi, living through that either but running away is not the solution."

"Then I'll go," Aang said, a hard edge to his words that hadn't been there before. "There's plenty for me to do away from here, in the colonies, especially now that Republic City's officially their own territory."

Katara nodded. It made sense logically. And right then, anything but logic and reason would have been disastrous.

"So it's settled." She said with a finality that brought back that polar bear dog weight in her chest. She glanced at Zuko and decided she'd allow herself one pleasure before all was said and done. "Could I hold her again?" She held her arms out as Zuko passed the child over.

She couldn't say how long she stood like that, swaying back and forth, murmuring softly to the daughter who she'd never get to call her own. She knew Aang had left not long after in a swish of orange and tan robes and a part of her almost went after him- she'd meant what she'd said when she said she hadn't wanted to hurt him. Eventually Zuko had come and gently pried the infant from her. He'd walked her back home and her Grandmother had ushered her in quickly, careful to keep the Fire Lord and child out of view of those inside.

Aang stayed in the colonies for weeks on end, avoiding the heartache that seemed to loom over him whenever he went home. By the time Katara had given him a second child he'd become almost like his old, carefree self, but not quite.

"I love you," she'd say, just before he left each time, and each time he would look at her, sometimes with hope, sometimes spite, but most often with a kind of wistfulness and longing for what had been lost.

"I know," would be his reply.