I wanted to die.

Why not? Everyone was born only to die, right?

Dying is normal, it's natural, it's nothing.

It's just death. After all, nobody can escape death.

I've watched my friends died in front of me, too many deaths that I've stopped caring.

And before them, my mom's already gone before I even got to know her, and then aunt Reiko.

Especially Reiko.

She was the reason my friends died, because she won't stay dead.

But alas, I've already take care of that...eight years ago.

After I took care of her, the next people to go are my grandparents.

And my dad...never came back from India.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Kouichi-kun."

"Looks like his old war wound finally came back to bite him. Your grandfather's a great man..."

"Your grandma's been grieving day and night for him. Stopped eating anything, not getting enough rest. Her health's getting worse and worse..."

"Breaking news; a horrendous airliner crash occurred just sixteen miles from New Delhi. Recent investigations showed that the crash was caused by an engine malfunction from the strong weather. Up until now, the search and rescue operation reported no survivor from the crash site..."

"...A renowed college professor, Yousuke Sakakibara, was amongst the victims of the plane crash..."

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Kouichi-kun."

"...so sorry..."

Loss, loss, loss.

My life is all about losses.

So why continue living?

If I live only to lose, then I'd rather lose my own life than suffering anymore from this.

My grandfather's old six shooter, the one he used way back into World War 2, rested firmly in my hand.

I used to listen to him telling me stories about that gun; it's been given to him by his western friends before the war started. During the war, that gun saved his life and his comrades more than once. He felt in debt to that gun so much he gave it a nickname 'Lifesaver'.

Heh, how ironic.

A gun is still a gun. It's a weapon.

Weapons are used to take lives, not saving it.

But in this 'peaceful' world, ridden of wars, what good could a weapon do?

Taken away its purpose, its meaning, what point is there to continue to exist?

This pistol, once a treasure my grandpa loved so much, is no longer needed in this world...just like me...me who was robbed off everything I hold dear. I'm nothing more than an empty shell of myself, waiting to be shattered by time and life.

I slowly put the pistol at the side of my head, and close my eyes.

Just three counts, then it'll be all over.

I can go join my friends, my family, everyone.

Finally freed from the curse that burdened me for a long time.

One...

Two...

Thr...

"Daddy?"

A young, innocent female voice spoke.

I slowly opened my eyes.

Izumi Sakakibara, my four-years-old daughter, is staring at me with an innocent, naive look.

"Izumi? Why are you still awake?" I asked, before quickly hiding my pistol behind my back.

"I can't sleep, daddy." She innocently replied. "What about you, dad? What are you doing?"

"I..."

I struggled, looking into reddish-brown eyes of hers.

Damn it, she looked so much like her.

Izumi...

I walked to the shelf on my left, before putting the pistol there, and turning to face my daughter.

"Are you okay, daddy? Did I make you unhappy?" She asked, her voice sounded worried.

I didn't reply right away, because I don't know how to say this all to her.

She's...damn it, what am I doing?

"Listen, Izumi-chan, why don't you go to sleep now? You have a school day tomorrow. Come on, I'll sing you a lullaby." I patted her head.

"Really, dad?!" She asked excitingly.

"Yep! Anything for my lovely darling!"

"YAY! You're the best, daddy!" She jumped up and down, cheering. Damn it, she's so energetic.

After that, I walked her back to her bedroom, before sending her to sleep.

"Good night, my angel..." I kissed her forehead as she drifted to sleep peacefully.

Heh, that sight of her always managed to melt my heart every time.

That...that warm feeling...that feeling that I never have a chance to experience...

But...

But...

It still doesn't matter.

I loved her, I loved her so much, but even love cannot overcome death.

I walked back to the living room once again, preparing to finish what I've set out to do.

But I found one person waiting for me in the darkness...

"I thought you told me that you'll never try to do something like this again, Sakakibara-kun."

The black-haired woman in front of me spoke.

"Mei?"

Mei Misaki, now my lovely wife, crossed her arms.

"Look, Kouichi, I understand how you feel, but to take away your own life won't make anything better."

"How could you understand what I feel?" I said miserably.

"Because I've been through the same thing with you!" She snapped. "Do you think I don't feel anything when I watched my friends, our friends, died?!"

"Your friends? They tried to kill you, for god's sake!" I argued.

"Look, Mei, I can't stand this anymore! I love you, I love our daughter, but this is all too much for me...I..."

That's it, I started to break down.

"If only...if only I was faster...if only I could realize it sooner...if only...if only..."

This is all just a waste of time...why won't she let me get done with it already?

"...I...don't wanna feel this pain anymore...just...want...end it already..."

Tears flowed down my face, my legs gave out, and I crumbled onto the floor.

"I'm sorry, Mei...it's...I...I missed them so much...I want to see them again..."

Suddenly, Mei did something I never saw it coming.

She helped me up, cleaned away my tears, then slapped me in the face.

"...wha?..."

I stared at her. That black hair of hers' covering her face, but I can see something on it.

Trails of tears.

"...I...I missed them too, goddamnnit!" She shouted. "I'm as much as to blame for their deaths as well!"

And then she hugged me.

"If I only care to tell them about the true Extra one...all of this wouldn't happened. I...Izumi...wouldn't die..."

I could only stand there, confused.

Mei Misaki, the last person I'll expect to show emotions like this, cried.

I mean, I know she has feelings as well, but she barely expressed them, even after we're married.

"I...wanted to die so many times..." She began. "I wanted to die even before I came to Yomi North...even before I met you."

She tighten her grip around me.

"I've been ignored by everyone, treated as nonexistent even by my own mother. To them, I'm only as alive as a doll..."

"...but...but then I met you...and you..."

She started sobbing harder now, struggling to say out words.

"...you saved me. You brought me back from the brink of despair. You...you showed me that not everyone has given up on me...that...that life is not all dark and cruel as I saw it to be...you're the reason that I wanted to stay alive..."

Mei looked up, looking directly at my face. That red eye of hers, along with that artificial green one, stared fixed on me.

"Don't..please, don't tell me that it's all a lie, don't give up now...please...please stay with me..."

Her voice is low, almost like a whisper. She's asking, no, begging me to stay with her.

"At least if not for me...then for our daughter. Think of little Izumi...what is she going to do without you, Kouichi?"

I...

What do I really wanted?

I wanted to see my friends, my loved ones.

They were all taken away from me.

But...

But what about Mei? What about my daughter?

They are my loved ones, too.

Am I really...really going to trade them for others?

Damn it, why don't I just kill all of us and go join them together?

Fuck this world, fuck everything.

But...oh hell...

What am I thinking?

What have I become?

I...damn it...I'm so stupid.

I finally reach my arm out, and embraced her.

"...We both are as alive as the dead, aren't we?" I began.

Mei didn't say anything, but I don't mind.

There's no point trying to continue this line of thought anymore.

I wanted to live, not just alive.

But to continue living like this will do nothing good, both to me and my family.

Me and Mei were both robbed away of everything, the only thing we still have left is each other.

We can't afford to lose that also.

"...Heh...you win, Mei..." I said. "I'm gonna live, no matter what lies ahead of me, no matter how much pain I have to bear until the day I die, I won't give up on you...never again..."

That alone was enough for Mei to finally smile at long last.

A bright, heartwarming smile, a rare smile coming from a woman like her.

But there it is, on her face. It's a proof that my efforts to protect her wasn't in vain.

Even if I didn't save my friends, at least I did save her.

"Hold me, Kouichi..." She said. "Hold me in your arms...never let me go..."

I tighten my grip around her, almost lifting her little figure off the ground.

We comforted each other that night, reminding both of us that we're still alive.

It's the only thing we can do, but it's enough.

We're not dead, so why the hell should we act like the dead?

I have to move on, for Mei, for my little Izumi, and for everyone that survives the calamity.

I need to continue living...in honor of those who was ripped off that chance.

We could only live once, but if we do it right, once is enough.

And I'm gonna make it worth it, to worth everything that I've sacrificed.

And if I find myself down on the ground like this again? All I have to do is tell myself these words:

There'll be another time, there'll be Another.

Editor's Note: So...the first one-shot Kouichi x Mei. Believe it or not, I was planning this to be a Drabble, but it dragged on and on and I decided to screw it and wrote a long one-shot instead.

Three more chapters will be followed. All of these are tie-ins to my other Another fic, Another Beginning. Technically, this chapter is a prequel to it, and the next chapters will be follow-ups or spin-offs. I'm trying to experiment differing pairings with Hurt/Comfort/Romance plots, with this chapter being Kouichi x Mei. The next will be Kouichi x Izumi, Mei x Yomiyama (SURPRISE!) and Izumi x Yomiyama (Yeah, I've gone crazy...)

Well, it might not be the greatest fic, but well, I got the idea from my thoughts about life after I watched an anime called Angel Beats!, and I'd like to share this to all those suicidal people out there:

"But well, suicide never make anything better (except you're bitten by zombies or something), it ripped away the chance to live the rest of your life and find new happiness. It WILL be painful, it'll take a lot of courage to go through life with the guilt and regret in your heart, but at least it's better than to let life take the best of you and crush you to the ground. It's similar to that pistol of Kouichi's. Pistol is a weapon, a weapon can be use for a lot of things, good or bad, depends on how we use it. Using it to kill yourself isn't one of the 'good' things if you ask me. If you wanted to use a gun, don't point it at yourself, point it at the obstacles that lie before you, and blast 'em all to hell, showing Life itself who's in control of your own fate, never surrender, and when you finally achieved what you've always longed to do or wished to be, you'll find that even a weapon that's used to kill people like that gun can bring you happiness you wanted all along."

So, never give up! You're not the only one who has to fight through life and won't be the last. As long as you don't lose your faith in living, everything will work out fine!