His Pain, His Pray, and His Hope.
Genre: Poetry and Angst
Rating: T
Warning: AU, OOC, Kaito POV, beware of my shitty English, Kaito torture, some little dark thing._. and child abuse.
Author's first try to make a poem-fic. Don't like? Don't read!
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Based/Inspired of 'Insanity' fic by Shimizu Hikaru... :D
*I apologized if this poem wasn't disconnecting with the original story~. v^^*
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Disclaimer:
Detective Conan © Aoyama Gosho
His Pain, His Pray, and His Hope © Shadow Kiddo a.k.a MSN1412
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I've never imagined if my life will shatter like this.
My parents had died, and killed with that man in black who was kidnapped me.
And … brought me to their lab, and being me as their lab rat.
But … why should I? Why should those children among me?
Am I special? Or, am I a disaster for them?
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First, I feel hopeless. My life is almost scattering because of this.
But I've remembered Shin-chan … I've remembered my Nii-nii.
He still alive, he still alive and living out there….
I don't know that I must happy, or I must sad.
But for now, I must separate with him, until I can't reach his hand again….
Until I can't grab Nii-nii's hand again….
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We separated with different universes,
like an unbreakable mirror which had separated us….
He still lived at the peaceful Heaven, home…. But, I've already lived at Hell.
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I was trying to escape from this Hell, once.
But, I couldn't…. They've got me, to make me their lab rat.
At first, I was so scared. Those cold eyes … it fears me and it still haunted me.
My tears are dropped … one by one.
I want to scream … but I can't. My lip seems like don't want let me to scream.
Why Kami-sama? Why you don't let me to scream?
It's so hurt. I want to release this PAIN!
And why do you let me … living at this nightmare?
This Hell place with those mysterious men and women in black among me….
Those mysterious and also bad men in black … like the Devils….
Like a terror for me, for my little heart….
I want to escape from this nightmare! I want to escape from this hell place! I want to escape from this pain!
Kami-sama … onegai …
Please … MAKE ME FLEE FROM HERE…! FROM THIS PAINFUL NIGHTMARE!
So I can meet my Nii-nii again…. So I can have a beautiful life again.
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But, it's too late. I can't escape from them.
They play me like a toy. They make me … like I am NOTHING for them!
Nothing … with this painful heart, and with this painful body!
Why, Kami-sama... WHY?
Doushite…? Doushite…? Doushite…?
Why they want to kill me, as their lab rat…?
Onegai, Kami-sama … onegai….
Onegai….
Flee me away from this nightmare. I beg you, because I'm tired of crying just for hoping….
And also … because I'm going to die….
I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die.
BUT I DON'T WANT TO DIE LIKE THIS!
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It was dark, I couldn't see anything. I can smirk, even it hurts.
But … I can't move. Why I can't move?
Oh…. I remembered,
I was tortured with those devils. With those freaking creatures!
Perhaps Kami-sama doesn't love me again. Perhaps Kami-sama doesn't want me to live again,
And I died tortured … in front of those Devils, as the lab rat.
Do you hate me? Do you really hate me so much?
Do you want to let me … living torture at this dirty-crash world?
But … I didn't do anything BAD for you!
Nor for my Kaa-san and Tou-san, and also for my Nii-nii!
I didn't….
I didn't….
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I am hoping … someone who will help me, someone who will revive me … from this nightmare.
Yes, an Angel. Tenshi desu….
An Angel will help and protect me every single bad happens….
And release me from this painful nightmare that I don't want to FEEL IT ANYMORE!
I lean down my head, and thinking yet hoping….
Kami-sama…. Does the Angel really exist? Will the Angel protect me?
If it really does ... will it be can revive me … with all of this pain?
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If the tomorrow comes, will I be able to smile again?
Smile like usual. Smile like a bright sunshine that will shine the world.
Even it is forced … will I?
And if the clouds can free up to the sky, will I can free like the clouds?
… Escape and free from this entire Nightmare?
Will I…?
Will I…?
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But, it's hopeless. I only can wish it. That's all….
I'm just hoping … hoping from this little-hurt heart.
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Even I only can wish it, but…
I hope … I hope that day will come. Even I must wait,
for a hundred years or until I die….
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If tomorrow comes, will I be able to smile? Will I be able to smile like I did on that day?
I wish, I keep wishing….
(Taishou A by anNina)
JAPANESE VOCABULARIES:
Kami-sama: the Lord/God
Onegai: Please
Kaa-san: Mother | Tou-san: Father
Nii-nii *reveals of Nii-san*: Brother *for the elder*
Doushite: Why
Demo: But
Tenshi: an Angel :D
because I love writing fics with some Japanese vocabularies~ v^^
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yep, THIS IS RE-PUBLISHED :) I moved it from my main account :) *and ... A/N below wasn't changed after all XD*
after I read the Insanity fic over and over again, and inspired of some OST song from Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni series *and the song above was from 'Kai' series :)*, I was trying to write it as my status at GTalk. But, Shimizu-san worried for me cause of my status which she's read._. *gomen-nee, Shimizu-san. I've already made you worried about that status v^^ *bows** and ... tried to write it again while I had chatted with my friends at Y!M._. *oh great, what's wrong with me-.-a*
and Kaito's called to Shinichi, I'd like to call 'Nii-nii'._. even 'Shin-chan' was suitable too._. it cause I've inspired with Satoko from Higurashi series, who's always called her brother 'Nii-nii'. :)
first try I made this poem-fic ... donnate?._.a *and ofc, I would apologized if I have a limited vocabularies and bad grammar v^^ (like my friend Tomato said, nobody's perfect, ne? :D)*
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at last, sankyuu for reading this poem-fic :D last word, review?
Jaa matta-nee~
Shadow Kiddo is sign out...