Chapter One: Mysterious Melody
Note: I don't own Slayers, but me and my character Mesuinu are working on that. We have quite a busy schedule plotting the takeover of the entire anime industry of Japan and world domination, so it might take some time. Also, Mesuinu has a college she promised to burn and some people she wants to kill...so who knows how long until she gets her affairs in order. Well, I hope you poor, but loyal and faithful (you've bought The Slayers D20 Roleplaying book, right?) fans enjoy this karaoke fan fic!
A humble and elegant karaoke bar looms over a young red haired sorceresses and her very tall and blonde companion. On the outside, the Mysterious Melody seems quaint and simple. Only the dim neon signs distinguishes it from every other mundane building in the city. "This is the place our letter instructed us to go.", Lina remarks. "I hope they serve food here. I'm starving.", the dim-witted Gourry comments. "Well," Lina begins with a smirk, "if they don't, they'll regret it." "Uh-oh, looks like you're already thinking of a way to get us into trouble." Lina fumes and bashes Gourry. "WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU MEAN BY THAT!"
"I see you're still causing trouble for Gourry, aren't you?", a familiar cold voice speaks out. "What a coincidence seeing you two here, Miss Lina and Mister Gourry." Lina lets go of Gourry and turns to see their old companions, Amelia and Zelgadis. "I suppose that you two also received some shady letters directing you here.", Zelgadis comments. "Yes.", Lina replies with a nod. Zelgadis looks over the outside of the building for a moment. "It seems just like every other building. Nothing mysterious about it.", he notes. "Oh, you really should see the inside.", another, less pleasant, voice remarks. Turning their attention to the entrance, Zelgadis, Lina, and Amelia (Gourry's looking the other way) spy another one of their old "companions." "I'd say the owner is much more mysterious than the establishment.", Xellos informs, his eyes closed as usual. "No more mysterious than you.", Filia scrowls stepping into view, her mace ever-ready to beat Xellos to a bloody pulp.
"Xellos...I should have expected to run into you here.", Lina growls. "Oh, Xellos is it? It's a pleasure to meet you.", Gourry greets the Mazoku. "Well, Gourry hasn't changed much at all.", Zel mutters. "Gourry! We've already met Xellos!", the sorceress reprimands. Xellos smirks, soaking the sweet nectar of Lina's frustration with Gourry's terrible memory. "Oh? Are you sure?" "Mister Gourry, I can't believe you could forget Mister Xellos.", Amelia notes. "Quite frankly...I envy him.", Filia mutters, glaring at the Mazoku with much vehement. Xellos smiles with what could be called a happy smile if his race could feel such an emotion.
A beautiful young woman with long purple hair pulled back in a flowing low ponytail steps out from between Xellos and Filia. Wearing a sophistic attire of black trimmed with purple, her eyes are closed behind her intellectual specs. "Miss Inverse, Mister Gabriev, Mister Greywards, and Princess Amelia. It is a pleasure to finally meet you. I see that you're already acquainted with Miss Ul Copt and Priest Xellos. This will certainly make business run much more smoothly." "And who are you?", Zelgadis half demands. "Xellos, would you please introduce me?", the young lady requests, her eyes mysteriously still closed in a very Xellos-like manner. "Sore wa himitsu desu!", Xellos retorts. Lina and her companions (excluding Filia and Gourry) fall over sideways. "That's not very nice! It's rude not to give your guests a proper introduction!", Amelia proclaims leaping back up while the others slowly stand. "I'm sorry, I simply could not resist. I am Phurye, owner of the Mysterious Melody Karaoke Tavern."
"So, what the hell are we here for?", Zelgadis demands coldly. "Sore wa...", Phurye begins only to receive a glare from Xellos as he peeks open one of his evil eyes. Phurye giggles happily. "Ah, well, as part of the official opening, I wanted individuals of fame and note to perform during the first week to help attract customers. The six of you are clearly individuals of both fame and note.", Phurye informs. "You do know that Xellos isn't human...right?", Lina asks quietly. "Yes, as Miss Ul Copt made a point in pointing that fact out to me. She's not exactly human herself, now is she?", the Mysterious Melody owner replies in a loud and crisp voice. "That's not something you should be proclaiming to the world!", Filia scolds. "Yes, mother.", Phurye replies smiling. "Isn't she adorable? It almost gives me a toothache.", Xellos taunts. "Oh, I'm sorry, I'll try to be a lot more cheerful and happy and WONDERFULLY sweet next time, okay?", Phurye taunts back with threats of overflowing positive emotions. Xellos slinks back and away.
"This was a waste of my time.", Zelgadis remarks and starts to leave. "Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I suppose there isn't much here to keep a busy adventurer such as yourself busy. Oh, Xellos, you've been here for a few days, did you happen to visit the Arcane Archive in town?" "Oh I haven't popped in there yet, but according to my sources it's the fourth largest Arcane Archive on the continent. It's actually the largest building in town. It's quite intriguing that you would decide to open a karaoke and bar in the same city as such a large adventurer attraction.", Xellos informs. Zelgadis stops in his tracks, listening to their conversation. "As always, you know your subjects, Xellos, but it's so popular that it costs a lot of money just to go inside if you're not a member.", Lina adds. "I don't suppose you'll be paying us.", Zelgadis inquires. "Oh of course I will. I simply cannot let such fine individuals as yourself perform publicly without the appropriate reinbursement. Free room and board for the week as well as a payment of 100 gold per song performed. Meals are included."
Lina's eyes immediately light up at the thought of both free food and being paid, although the thought that she'd be singing, makes her a bit reluctant. "I might consider it, but can you tell me how much it costs to visit the Arcane Archive.", Zelgadis inquires. "I really don't know, although I'm rather fond of arcane lore, being a member, I've never had to pay to visit. I could loan you my membership card if you'd like.", Phurye comments nonchalantly. "You have yourself a performer then.", Zel informs. "Uh, Mister Zelgadis...I'm a member too.", Amelia informs softly. "You probably should have said that sooner, but then we wouldn't get to hear Zel-wely sing.", Lina teases placing a hand on the young Seiryuunian princess's shoulder. Zel blushes suddenly wondering what he had just gotten himself into.
"Ah, please, come inside. How rude of me to make my guests stand around. Please, sit down and I'll prepare you something to eat.", Phurye offers. "Well everyone, what are we waiting for?", Lina proclaims making a quick entry, Gourry close behind. Zelgadis and Amelia look at each other and Filia briefly and head inside. As with most buildings, the Mysterious Melody appears to be much larger inside than what it would appear from the outside. Dark lights dimly light the establishment that clearly has a goth influence along with the magical and mysterious tastes of a gypsie caravan. The stage rests prominently in the center back near the spiraling staircase that leads to the rooms upstairs. To the far right from the entrance is the bar with the door to the entrance covered in a layer of lavander satin cloth with layers of jeweled beads in front of it.
"Try not to make too much of a mess like Miss Ul Copt and Xellos, please.", Phurye comments simply and sweetly. "I've already appologized.", Filia retorts sticking up her nose. Seeing an opening, Xellos manifests behind her and tickles her aggressively. Filia bursts out laughing swinging her mace around in a desperate attempt to fend Xellos off of her. "I see your problem.", Zelgadis notes. Gourry, following their cue, begins to approach Lina in an attempt to tickle her. "Don't you EVEN dare, Gourry!", Lina warns with vehement fury. Amelia giggles as she watches how adorable Xellos and Filia look. "They make such a cute couple!", the young defender of justice accidently remarks outloud. Filia's mace drops violently to the ground and Xellos immediately stops tickling the young gold. They both join in unison at staring furiously at Amelia. "JUST WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT, AMELIA?", Filia grinds her teeth. Xellos steps back knowing that Filia will do the dirty work for him. "I need alcohol...lots of alcohol.", Phurye mutters. "If I had to put up with them, I'd have to start drinking too.", Zelgadis sympathizes. "Oh, I don't need it for myself. I just need enough to get them to pass out.", Phurye explains. Zelgadis sweatdrops.
Filia slowly approaches Amelia as she stumbles back to get away. "I...I really didn't mean it like that, Miss Filia. Please, there's no need to get violent." "Oh, REALLY?" "Uh, Filia, maybe you should calm down.", Lina suggests, only to receive a burning glare from Filia. "Can't we all just get along?", Gourry remarks. Filia turns her 'righteous' glare at him. Phurye suddenly stands atop her bar firmly. "Now how did that chant go? Blacker than the blackest pitch?" Everyone freezes in place. "Oh my, it appears that our host knows the Gigaslave. How pleasant.", Xellos remarks. Filia backs off in shock. "Ah, yes, blacker than the blackest pitch and deeper than the deepest night. Try our Giga Punch, it'll knock out your lights!" The Slayers gang immediately falls over on their sides, shocked by the complete irrelevance of their host's chant. "Did I say something funny? I take it that my advertisement for the house special isn't very good?", Phurye inquires innocently. "Oh, it's not that at all.", Lina informs. "It's just that it sounded like you were saying something else.", Amelia explains. "Well, let me fix up a couple of shots for Miss Ul Copt and Xellos. Since you two aren't human, I'm a bit confident that it won't kill you." Xellos raises an eyebrow curiously. "You serve drinks that can kill!", Amelia protests. "Oh, no, it's just that the Giga Punch tends to knock drinkers unconscience." "You'll need something stronger than that to use on Xellos.", Filia remarks. "Of course, if they don't wake up, they never will.", Phurye finishes, causing the room to fall into a deep and morbid silence.
"Well brew me up a dozen!", Xellos proclaims. "I KNEW you'd say that.", Phurye smiles deviously. "How? Wasn't it a 'secret'?", Zelgadis speaks sarcastically. "Now that...", Xellos begins only to be interupted by the mysterious hostess. "Ah, come now Xellos, you're not very good at keeping secrets at all.", Phurye teases. Xellos cocks an eyebrow curiously at the karaoke owner. "Oh?", Xellos remarks. "Of course, you always make it quite obvious when you're keeping a secret. You really aren't very good of an actor." Lina and her friends edge quickly and quietly away from Xellos and Phurye. "Well then, what secrets am I keeping now?", Xellos eggs on. "Sore wa himitsu...WA KA RI MA SE N.", Phurye responds. (trans: "That is a secret...I DO NOT KNOW." Cute how she says wakarimasen, ne?) Everyone, yes even Xellos, falls over.
The hostess giggles happily, clearly the winner of her little joust with Xellos. "I love doing that.", she comments quietly to herself. "Hey Lina, why are we here again?", Gourry questions. "I'll answer that! You're here to wear scantly clad clothing and to sing Brittney Spear's songs.", Phurye teases. "I have to wear a dress again! No way I'm doing that! Free food or not!", Gourry protests. "Ah come one Gourry, what's wrong with a little self-humiliation in exhange for free rent and food?", Lina teases. "Hey, don't think I've forgotten that YOU also have to go up on that stage and sing too.", Gourry retorts. Lina's face turns tomatoe red, although it's hard to tell whether she's really embarressed or really angry. "He's absolutely right, Miss Inverse. If anyone of you want to be reimbursed, you'll have to perform the requested services. No singing, no money, no food, no room, and no membership card to the Arcane Archive for Mister Greywards.", Phurye reminds.
"Fine, all I have to do is sing one song, right?", Lina inquires. "Well, at least two. I'd like everyone to sing one solo and one duet. I might allow for two solos, but absolutely not two duets. Since I'm paying for your performances, I've taken the liberty of selecting which songs you will sing. No need to be self-conscious of how well you do, I expect most of our patrons to get pretty drunk pretty fast.", Phurye explains. "Well, let's get this over with.", Zelgadis mutters. "Glad to hear that. Actually, now that you bring it up, you and Mister Gabriev will be performing the first selection tonight.", Phurye remarks. Lina snickers, thankful that she doesn't have to sing first. "WHAT! ARE YOU NUTS! ME AND GOURRY SINGING FIRST! ARE YOU INSANE!", Zel exclaims, his head huge with rebellion. "Insane? Well of course I already knew that. I know it's kind of inappropriate for the song, but I had trouble deciding which one of you should sing Clay Aiken's song, 'Invisible.' So I made a compromise. I've already programmed a Gourry-proof prompter so you won't sing each other's part.", Phurye informs. "Oh just great.", Zel mumbles.
"Speaking of which, your rooms each have small karaoke machines and the songs you will be performing. You're more than welcome to perform more songs than what I've chosen." "Uh...Phurye, right, do we have to wear any 'special' outfits for our performances?", Lina inquires. "Naturally I've taken the liberty of selecting appropriate outfits to go with each song, but then that's completely optional, Miss Inverse. However, I suppose that I could pay an extra 200 gold if you wear the costumes.", Phurye replies with conniving innocence. "Eh...heh." "I can't wait to see Mister Gourry and Zelgadis perform tonight!", Amelia comments happily. "Speaking on the matter of duets, you didn't arrange any for me, did you?", Xellos inquires. "Don't be silly, I've arranged at least one duet for everyone, including you. However, PRIEST XELLOS...I will make AB SO LU TE LY sure that YOU PER FORM YOUR DU ET.", Phurye threatens. "She's kind of scary, isn't she Miss Lina?", Amelia remarks softly. "Not nearly as scary as Lina though.", Gourry remarks absent-mindedly. Lina immediately bashes Gourry for his careless insult. "Well...uh...how about that lunch I promised? I'll just be in the kitchen...away from the ensuing and perpetual chaos.", Phurye remarks and darts into the security of the kitchen.