Chapter 1 if Xenophilius/BACKPACK (AKA "Where is the Keystone?")
Note:Xenophilius is on some drugs during this incase you couldn't tell.
Xenophilius was walking through his house one day when he stumbled on Luna's BACKPACK! The BACKPACK was bright yellow with hot pink unicorns on it. Mr. Lovegood was instantly attracted. "Hello my friend of BACKPACK-y goodness!" "Xenophilius I have a mission for you." "Umm….Ok" "If you take the red pill you join the ranks of the yellow BACKPACKs with pink unicorns on them. If you take the blue pill everything goes to normal. BACKPACKs will never talk to you again, or make you attracted to them again." Oh no! Xenophilius thought the BACKPACKs may not attract me again! "I'll take the red pill please!" He stated. The BACKPACK smiled and a pink unicorn handed him the red pill. He went to the kitchen to get a glass of water…BUT WAIT! I have magic!...and then he pulled one from thin air with his wand. He then took the pilil. Suddenly bright yellow BACKPACKS with hot pink unicorns on them appeared EVERYWHERE! "Congratulations Xenophilius! You have now joined the ranks of the yellow BACKPACKS with pink unicorns on them!" One of the BACKPACKS thoug wasn't so friendly. "Does Lord Voldemort know you raid his wardrobe?" "You can find out the answer to that question next Saturday, Mr. BACKPACK. Luna's BACKPACK shot back. Later, Mr. Lovegood would find out that that BACKPACK'S name was Neo. The Neo BACKPACK was excited that he was finally no the "new meat." Xenophilius was not worried about Neo because Luna's BACKPACK would save him. "What is your name, O BACKPACK of my daughter?" "I am John Bender!" AND THE BACKPACK LAUGHED. Just then a soft voice called from outside the room. "Daddy? Are you in there?" "Yes sweetie, I was just getting your BACKPACK from the closet." Mr. Lovegood came out of the closet holding 'Bender' the BACKPACK while all the other BACKPACKS disappeared through an opening in the wall. Luna calmly said, "Thanks Daddy, I've been looking for this."