Disclaimer: Own nothing. No one does. We're all thieves.
Warnings and Notes: T for language. With gayness, kidnapping, futureness, and whatever. Movie Avengers with bits of Ultimate Spiderman thrown in. Also, Tony and Steve become parents. But it's with the use of a surrogate, not mpreg.
Pairings: Tony and Steve. Thor and Loki. Probably others. But those are the main two.

Avengers: One of the Hunted
Chapter 1: Prologue: Waiting for Disaster

Tony paced back and forth in the waiting room. It had been blocked off for the six of them, to keep them out of the public eye. But mostly, it was because Tony kept yelling and disturbing everyone. "Why are we doing this?" He snapped loudly, turning towards Steve. "Who authorized this?"

Steve was leaning against a support pillar near the center of the room. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets and he was smiling. "Tony, calm down."

"Seriously!" Tony threw up his arms. "This is fucked up!"

Steve pushed away from the pillar and pulled out his hands. "Tony, this was your idea."

"Yeah but…" Tony turned and ran a hand through his hair. He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Who would give me a kid? Who would trust me with a kid?"

Steve's smile only widened. "It's a bit late for doubts."

Tony threw up his arms as he spun around. "Why did we use me? This kid's going to be fucked up. Why aren't you bio-dad?"

"Tony, calm down."

"This is stupid. This is ridiculous. I'm going to kill it!"

Steve laughed and shook his head. It was fun watching the mechanic panic. Again. His tendencies to be overdramatic never ceased to surprise the Captain.

"This isn't funny!" Tony glared at him. "I'm going to kill it!

"You're going to be fine." Steve stepped closer and grabbed Tony's hands in his. "We're going to do fine. We, remember. This is my kid too."

Tony smiled slowly. "You're going to be a great dad."

Steve smiled. "So are you."

The happiness in Tony's eyes lasted for a whole minute. Then he wrenched his hands away and spun around. "No, I'm not. I'm going to blow it up in some accident in my workshop or something!"

Steve grew serious for a second. He grabbed Tony's hand and pulled him closer. "Tony, the baby is not allowed in your workshop when you blow things up. You are not allowed in your workshop when you blow things up. "

The rest of the group had remained silent so far. Natasha and Clint were sitting beside each other on the couch and across from them, Thor and Bruce sat on another. They all pretended to read various bad magazines. Clint, though, tossed his magazine on the table and leaned back. "You really should stop blowing things up altogether, dude." He said, looking over at Tony.

Tony glared at Clint. Then he slowly turned his glare towards Steve. "We should be in there."

"You got us kicked out."

Tony threw up his arms. "It was taking too long!"

Steve was trying really hard not to laugh. "You can't… schedule or… speed up a birth. It's a natural process. You have to be patient."

Clint shook his head. "Tony and patient in the same sentence?"

Natasha slapped Clint in the back of the head. "Stop talking."

Clint glared at her. "Well if they don't want me talking, then they should leave. We were waiting here first."

"Shut up." She slapped him again.

"It doesn't even have a name yet." Tony whined loudly. "Already we're horrible parents."

Steve rolled his eyes. "You said you wanted to meet it first before we picked out a name. You said that was common courtesy."

"Well… it's rude to keep calling it… it."

Steve shrugged. "Well, I like the old fashioned not knowing until its born thing."

"Ah ha!" Tony shouted in triumph and pointed an accusing finger at Steve. "Finally! Something's that's your fault! This is all your fault!"

"Tony, come here." Steve held out his arms and Tony automatically melted into him. Steve held him tightly against him. "Take a deep breath, okay? We talked about this. We talked about all of this. In great detail and great length. You're going to be a great dad. We both will. We'll make mistakes, I'm sure. Every parent does. And it'll all be new and scary. But it'll be fine, okay?"

Tony sniffled a bit and held onto Steve tighter than was necessary. Then he let him go and pushed him away. He straightened up and brushed off his suit. For a moment, Tony looked like his confident, cocky self. Then he deflated again. "Why are we doing this?"

The whole room let out a collective groan and Tony glared at each one of them. "You all suck. I hate you all. Get out of here."

"You can't kick us out." Clint said with a smile. "It's a hospital."

Tony continued to glare at him. "It's my hospital."

"Sir, I don't mean to interrupt your tirade."

"Shut up, Jarvis." Tony snapped.

"My apologies." The AI said evenly. "Let me know when you are finished and I will offer my congratulations."

Tony spun around. "What?"

"You and Captain Rogers are now parents."

"What?" His eyes widened. "It happened? It's here?"

Steve grabbed Tony's hand. "Come on."

Tony let Steve pulled him along. "What is it?"

"Do not answer, Jarvis. Please." Steve said firmly as he turned to address the team. "Give us a few minutes and we'll call you in."

"Just go." Natasha urged with a smile.

Thor leaned back and tossed his magazine away. "Don't keep the wee one waiting."

Steve nodded and pulled Tony through the doors. "Jarvis, how's Miss Wind?"

"She is exhausted but appears to be recovering nicely." Jarvis answered.

"Has she… seen the baby?"

"No. She is respecting sir's request."

"Request?" Tony scoffed as they entered the maternity wing. "I paid her to fuck off once the baby popped out."

"Tony!" Steve snapped.

"Oh whatever." Tony waved him off. "We were renting her womb."

"Tony." Steve shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Sir, Miss Potts sends her congratulations." Jarvis said. "She's leaving the office now and will be on her way shortly."

Tony nodded. "Send up through when she gets here."

"Mr. Stark, Mr. Rogers." They turned to the nurse who addressed them. She smiled warmly at them. "Put these gowns on and wash your hands." Tony rolled his eyes and was about to protest when she shook her head. "You aren't setting foot in that room until you do. I don't care whose name is on that building. Last thing you need is to pass some bacterial infection to your newborn baby."

"Baby." Tony repeated slowly. He spun around and gripped the front of Steve's shirt, hard. "We have a baby!"

"Yes. Now…" Steve pried him off and steered him towards the sink. He turned the faucet on and pushed Tony gently. "Sorry." He said, turning to address the nurse with a smile. "It just hit him that this is really happening. Over and over again. Over the past few hours. I promise, he's really more prepared for all this."

"How come you aren't more nervous?" Tony snapped as Steve helped him into the hospital gown.

Steve laughed softly and smiled. "Honey, you're nervous enough for the both of us."

Tony glared. "I hate you."

Steve shook his head. "No you don't."

"No I don't." Tony whined. "Let's get this over with." He grabbed Steve's hand and pulled him towards the door. "We're clean. Move."

Steve offered the nurse a smile. "He means thank you so much for all your concern and for being so great at your job. Can we need the baby now, please?"

The nurse eyed Tony for a moment. Then she smiled and nodded and opened the door. Another nurse stood inside the large hospital room. She was bent over a small crib in the center of the room. She looked over at them and smiled. "I'll leave the three of your alone. If you need any help, someone will be right out there. I'll get a bottle ready for you."

Steve nodded. "Thank you." He stepped forward and looked down at the wrinkly pink thing. It was wrapped up tightly in a yellow blanket. Gently and slowly, Steve bent down over the bed. He tucked his hands under the baby and lifted it up. It opened its eyes and its tiny mouth and let out a squeak. It surprised him and Steve fumbled for a moment.

Tony shot forward and stabilized Steve's grip. He guided the man's hands. "Here, like this. Against your chest. Watch the head."

Steve smiled at Tony. "Thanks."

"Yeah, you'll be fine. I'll go get her bottle now."

Tony steered Steve towards the rocking chair. "Sit." Steve did as was told, careful not to jostle the baby too much. Tony pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Take lots of pictures." He commanded and tossed it into the air.

When Tony first made the flying phones and installed basic AI's into them, Steve had laughed. It was basically a pet phone and was a foolish toy no one needed. But now, as Steve sat in the chair and Tony leaned over him, smiling, Steve was glad to have the phone flitting about, clicking pictures.

Tony straightened up suddenly. "Wait… did she just say…" She glanced back at the door."

"Her." Steve said, smiling. "We have a little girl."

"A daughter." Tony sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Shit. I have to get a shotgun."

Steve laughed loudly. "I think we have a few years before we have to worry about that."

"Oh no." Tony said, shaking his head. "Look at her. She's going to be gorgeous."

Steve rolled his eyes and shook his head. He looked down at her and smiled. "She does have your eyes."

Tony nodded slowly. "She's got your chin."

Steve shook his head. "That's not possible."

Tony shrugged and leaned down closer. He wrapped his arms around Steve's neck and leaned against his back. "Next time, you're batting."

Steve smiled. "Tony, let's make sure we can keep this one alive before planning the next."

Tony gasped. "You doubt my fathering skills?"

"Like 10 minutes ago you were whining about…"

A knock at the door interrupted his thought. Clint poked his head in. "Sorry to interrupt but…"

"You guys can come in." Steve offered and Tony let out a groan.

"No." Clint shook his head as he opened the door farther. "Well… not that we don't want to. But we're going to have to put welcoming the new team member party on hold. We're being called in."

Tony let go and straightened up. Steve stood up slowly and stepped towards the crib. He let out a sigh as he set the baby down gently. "One day." He said with a sigh.

"If we could, we would just leave you." Clint said with reluctance. "But Fury says this is big. He's calling in other teams too."

Tony moved to stand next to Steve. He crossed his arms and glared at Clint, like the whole situation was the archer's fault. "Then he won't miss us."

"Tony." Steve threw his arm around the mechanic's shoulders and squeezed. Regret showed on his face. "If Fury's that concerned, we all need to go. She'll be fine. She's in a hospital. We'll rush back as soon as we can."

Tony glanced down at the tiny, wiggling baby. He let out a sigh. "First lesson, baby girl… daddies have to go to work."

Steve smiled and pulled Tony along. "Come on. It'll be fun."

"Fun? Tony rolled his eyes. "Since when do you call Fury's shit fun?"

Clint smiled. "So a little girl, huh?"

Tony glared at him. "Yes. Move." Clint stepped aside as Tony pushed through the door. "Jarvis, where's Pepper?"

"She arrived a few minutes ago, sir." He answered. "She was stopped on the first floor."

"Stopped? Damnit. Get her up here. Tell her we have to leave. Hey! You!" He pointed to the nurse who was fetching them a bottle. "We have to leave. A friend of ours is on her way up. Pepper Potts."

"Virginia Potts." Steve added.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Until we get back, she's the only one allowed in there, alright?"

Steve flashed her a quick smile before she could respond. "Other than the wonderful doctors and nurses who work in this fine hospital, of course."

Tony rolled his eyes.

Steve tugged on him again. "Tony, it's a hospital. She can't get hurt in a hospital."

"And hey!" Clint snapped his fingers. "If she does, she's in a hospital."

"Clint, you aren't helping." Steve snapped.

"Dude, she's like tiny." Clint continued on, following them down the hall. "She can't talk or walk or hold her head up. She's less than an hour old. What can she honestly get into?"

"Stop talking, Clint. We need to go." Steve stopped as they entered the empty waiting room. "Where is everyone?"

Clint shrugged. "They already left. As soon as we got the call. I got left behind to get you guys."

Tony glared at the archer and looked like he wanted to strangle the man. "Why didn't you say that? We could have already left!"

"A couple minutes really make that much difference?"

"Clint, I highly recommend you shut up." Steve said, grabbing Tony's hand. "Jarvis, you got us a ride?"

"On the roof, Captain Rogers."

Steve slowed a bit. "That would be…"

"This way." Clint said, turning. He led them around the corner and to the service elevator.

"How do you know the way around my hospital?" Tony asked as they stepped inside.

Clint shrugged. "I was bored waiting for the little princess to make her appearance."

"You can't rush a birth." Tony said with a smile. "It's a natural process."

Clint smiled and crossed his arms. "So does the little princess have a name?"

"No." Tony snapped.

"Come on dude." Clint whined. We've all been dying to know."

"Actually, she doesn't." Steve said. "Tony wanted to wait until she was born."

"Well that's stupid."

Tony glared at him. "Who fucking asked you?"

"Rebecca?" Steve said suddenly.

Tony glanced over at him and shrugged. "Ashley?"

Steve shook his head. "Jennifer?"

"No. Amanda?"

Steve tilted his head, thinking. "Bailey?"

"Astrid?"

"Oh god no!" Clint said.

"You don't get a say." Tony snapped.

Steve smiled. "Patricia?"

Tony stuck out his tongue. "April?"

Steve opened his mouth and closed it. Then he laughed. "You really stuck on A names, aren't you, Anthony?"

"Oh… uh… no…"

-X-X-X-

Author's Notes: The idea for this came while I was at work. And it sort of took over my brain. Hope you enjoy it as much as me. If not... I don't care. Haha.