2011 HD BigBang 'The Play's The Thing!' Intro

Author: tigersilver

Pairings and Main Characters: Harry/Draco; Ron/Hermione; Dean/Seamus, Lucius/Narcissa, Luna/Neville/Rolf Scamander, Lavender (unrequited)/Neville

Summary: Harry Potter is not happy with the life he's landed in. He's trained to be an Auror, was invited to be one, but now he's considered too valuable—and too powerful—to be allowed out in the field. He faces a life of paperwork and filing, migraine headaches and the petty miseries of being a desk jockey. Draco Malfoy has just returned to his native England from Romania, where for a few years he worked his tail off at the Dragon Preserve. Now he requires a paying position and Malfoys are still somewhat persona non grata. Fortunately he has good friends, and among them are three lively Witches: the daft, wifty yet strangely prescient Luna Lovegood, the scheming, fun-loving and irrepressible young Ginevra Weasley and the amazingly brainy and well-organized Hermione Granger. The three Witches have together cooked up a real cauldron-boiler of an idea: forming a troupe of Players, as yet Nameless, for the purpose of presenting theatricals to the Wizarding folk, to entertain and to distract. For the play's the thing, as the Bard once said, and the world is in need of some enjoyment.

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 82,000

Warnings: Auror/Actor Harry, Actor/Ex-Dragon-Tamer Draco.

Genre: Humor, Romance, Smut, Fluff

Canon: Alternate Universe (Magical), EWE

Betas/Beloved Advisors: lonerofthepack, blueboyfey, demicus, altri_uccelli, phoenixacid, groolover.

Notes: This is essentially a play reflected in a play, reflected in a Mirror. Specifically, although the action progresses forward in a linear though episodic manner, both the prologue and epilogue pieces are set outside the main action. The main action occurs a few (two to four) years after the final battle at Hogwarts, in a chronological span. It is implied that the people who are deceased per canon remain deceased, but this is magical, this world. Stranger things have happened. Set in London, at the Ministry, Auror DepartmentHeadquarters, Harry's office; also at Malfoy Manor, in various rooms; at Harry's flat and at the Leaky Tavern in Diagon, and finally at the refurbished Odeon PlayHouse, Edinburgh. There are thus five sets. A number of scenes also take place before the closed curtains of the stage. Er…mentally. You, Reader, function as the archetypal Audience. Applause is always welcome. This is: A romantic comedy in four acts. With elements of farce. And pathos. And…(Merlin help us) crack.

Original inspiration & prompt was provided by vaysh11, ages ago, who wished to see a fic based on DanRad's vid 'This is Real'. After failing horribly at writing decent RP ficcage, the author finagled a way to attempt to incorporate the hilarity and energy of this video ('Broom burn!' 'Please! Put your pants back on!'), the utter drama of it, and in such a way as to protect the sacrosanct privacy of the actual actors, who've portrayed our beloved characters for a very long time. The author's many nods of respect are often sly and amused; this makes them no less sincere. Finally, please join the crew in a rousing acapella rendition of Archibald MacLeish's Ars Poetica at the final curtain, in honour of all plays, playwrights, actors and their fellows, who provide us pure pleasure and a beautiful escape from our woes. All errors remaining are solely the author's, by the by. Forgive.

Scene Setters:
Harry Potter Is Real
AS YOU LIKE IT (Shakespeare)
THE DOLLHOUSE (Henrik Ibsen)
RHINOCEROS (Ionesco) & Pantomime/Commedia dell' arte/The Grey Mare & Twelfth Night
THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST (Oscar Wilde)

Cast (in no particular order):
Harry Potter … Hero, Auror, Lead Actor (Puck, and assorted roles), Lover
Draco Malfoy … Acting Coach, Ex-Dragon Tamer, Bon Vivant, Man-About-Town, Scion, Lead Actor ('Oberon' and assorted roles), Lover, 'Angel'
Lucius Malfoy … Father, Ex-Convict, Ex-Death Eater, Sometime Curmudgeon, Husband, Host, Adoptive Uncle, Director, 'Angel'
Narcissa Malfoy … Matriarch, Mother, Hostess, Trousers-Wearing-Society-Matron, Ex-Unexpected Heroine, 'Angel', Fan of Gilderoy Lockhart
Hermione Granger-Weasley … Second Witch, Stage Manager, Business Manager, Booking Manager, Hormonal Mum-to-be, Wife, Friend, Fan of Gilderoy Lockhart
Luna Lovegood … First Witch, The Quibbler Staff-at-large, Actress, Available, Object of Desire, Free Elemental, Friend
Neville Longbottom … Hero, Crew, Props Purveyor, Object of Desire, Friend
Pansy Parkinson … Spoilt Princess, Fourth Witch (Adjunct), Society Gal, Co-Stage Manager, Gofer, PR Consultant, 'Angel', Friend, Fan of Gilderoy Lockhart
Ginny Weasley … Third Witch, Ex-Girlfriend, Girl-About-Town, Good Mate, Fan of Gilderoy Lockhart
Blaise Zabini … Actor, Crew, Friend, Businessman, 'Angel', Gossip, Sidekick
Greg Goyle … Actor, Crew, Friend, Sidekick, Proud Father, Businessman
Greg Goyle's Wife … Foreign, Proud Mother of One, Seamstress, 'Angel', Fan of Gilderoy Lockhart
Molly Weasley … Matriarch, Mother of the Horde of Weasleys, Beloved Wife, Fan of Gilderoy Lockhart
Arthur Weasley … Patriarch, Ministry Employee, Friend, Father & Father-Figure, Not a Fan of Gilderoy Lockhart
George Weasley … Adoptive Brother, Proprietor of WWW, Friend, Sometime Actor, Crew, Set Design and Incidental Magics, Special Effects, Uncle
Ron Weasley … Auror, Nervous Husband, Lover, Friend, Father-to-be, Sidekick, Crew
Seamus Finnigan-Thomas … Auror, Husband, Lover, Friend, Crew, Sometime Actor, Fan of Gilderoy Lockhart
Dean Finnigan-Thomas … Auror, Husband, Lover, Artist, Scenery Painter, Sometime Actor, Friend
Millicent Bulstrode … Props, Costumes, Gofer, Special Effects, Incidental Crew & Cast, Fan of Gilderoy Lockhart
Lavender Brown … Head Costumes, Crew & Incidental Cast, Unrequited Lover, Nice Girl, Fan of Gilderoy Lockhart
Rolf Scamander … Actor, Waiter, Unrequited Lover, Incidental Crew-cum-Theatre Consultant, Not a Fan of Gilderoy Lockhart
Kingsley Shacklebolt … Audience, Friend, 'Angel', Fan of Gilderoy Lockhart
Gilderoy Lockhart … played by himself, Fan of Himself, Sometime Guest Director, Deposed
Nameless Muggle Interviewer … Fan of Harry Potter
Assorted Aurors
Assorted Stage Crew, The Nameless Troupe
Assorted Diners, Extras and Milling Masses
The Mirror of Erised … Object of Dubious Magic, this mirror reflects a curious array of possibilities
Lucius's Chair … Object of Semi-Sentient Furniture, it has the personality of a large sight-hound and is quite loyal
The Manor … Ginormous Object of Sentient Domesticity, this house is actually a functional home and, like many a real home, it harbours its secrets.