by A.J. Mitchell
Disclaimer: I, in no way shape or form have any claim over the characters from BtVS. Joss owns 'em, end of story.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Buffy/Xander
Timeline: 6 months, or so after "Chosen".
Spoilers: Pretty much anything over the course of the show.
Summary: A blackout, two friends and secrets shared under the cover of darkness.
Author's Notes: (1) My muse just doesn't seem to want to really get into the second part of "Destinies", yet she seems to be attracted to doing a stand-alone while we wait. (2) Thoughts in Italics. (3) Slightly AU. Sunnydale didn't get destroyed during the battle with The First. It got damaged real good due to a huge earthquake that did result from said battle, oh and the school got totaled again. Spike still died though. :) (4) I know it's short, but I think it's sweet and I like it.
The house seems so big and empty without Dawn here, Buffy thought as she leaned against the door frame gazing into her sister's vacant room. She could remember a time, not too long ago in fact, when the house had been teeming with people and it was all she could do not to kill any of them for being constantly underfoot. But now, what she wouldn't give for even just one of them to keep her company. Giles and Faith and the majority of the remaining SITs had left after just a couple of weeks. Giles was almost frantic about trying to rebuild the Council so they could offer assistance to girls world-wide who now found themselves with the powers of the Slayer. Faith decided to go with him. She never really felt at home in Sunnydale and besides she kind of liked the idea of being the figure-head for Slayer-kind. That suited Buffy just fine. One thing she didn't need was a bunch of girls looking to her for guidance again. She had had enough of that for one lifetime. Willow and Kennedy left after a month for greener pastures. Willow was helping Giles track all of the new girls, but as that could be done from just about anywhere, she and Kennedy decided that a chance of scenery was in order. So as a going away present Xander gave them his car which they loaded up with everything they owned and drove off into the sunset, as it were. Buffy recalled that the last post card she had received from the duo had been postmarked Bangor, Maine. That left Buffy and Dawn to themselves; sometimes *by* themselves it seemed too. Dawn went back to high school, one in the next town over since good old Sunnydale High had once again been destroyed in the name of saving the world. Buffy was able to go back to college as well, thanks to a generous gift from Giles upon his departure. It seemed that Giles was still a silent partner in the Magic Box and when Anya died that left him the sole owner. Before he left the former librarian sold the shop, lock stock and barrel and gave the proceeds to Buffy and Dawn to help them start their new lives. It was quite a tidy sum and they were able to meet all their expenses and still have some left over in savings. Both Summers girls had part-time jobs and were making their own spending money and things, financially, were better than they had been in a long time.
Buffy sighed and turned back into the hallway. She knew that Dawn was all right, a quick call to her cell phone had confirmed that, but she still felt out of sorts. She didn't like being alone. But at least it was just for the weekend while Dawn had her sleep over at a friend's house. Buffy was amazed at just how many people came back to town after it was all over. About three quarters of the people who had once been inhabitants returned and even some new faces. But some decided that they could do without the weirdness that seemed inherent with Sunnydale and stayed wherever they had newly settled. The Rosenbergs didn't come back... neither did the Harrises. It had taken time, but the town had rebuilt itself and things were on track again. Except for the occasional blackout, Buffy grumbled. The candle flickered as she made her way down the stairs again and she felt the hot wax drip onto her skin. The pain only lasted for a second and then the cool feeling of the wax on her hand was all that was left. She kind of liked that. She smiled to herself, but then frowned as she looked out the front window at the rows upon rows of dark houses and dark streets with only the occasional passing car to break the blackness with its headlights. Buffy sighed again and sat down on the couch. Time seemed to lose all meaning as she sat there contemplating nothing much in particular and she didn't know if a minute had gone by, or an hour before she heard the knocking on her front door.
The small blonde got up and opened the door cautiously; knowing that a blackout would be the perfect excuse for Sunnydale's undead population to try going door to door for a meal. The door opened to reveal a shape standing in the shadows on the porch and Buffy smiled. She'd be able to recognize that stance with the little slouch to it for the rest of her days. The flashlight in his hand clicked off as Xander stepped forward and into the house. Nothing was said as Buffy closed the door and went back into the living room to take up her previous position on the couch. "I just came to make sure that you and Dawn were alright." Xander explained as he sat down next to her. Buffy tried to hide the smile that crossed her face as he spoke. She shook her head,
"Xander, you know that Dawn had her sleep over at Jennie's tonight." He just nodded and they continued to sit there enjoying the comfortable silence that only two people who had been together for as long as they had could share. "Sorry I don't have anything to offer you, but with the power out and everything." Buffy shrugged. Xander grinned and opened his coat.
"I thought that might be the case, so I came prepared." He reached into his inside pocket and removed a Thermos. This time Buffy didn't bother to hide her smile as he unscrewed the cap and handed the container to her. She took a long whiff and sighed happily. She took a long sip and hummed contentedly as she let the liquid warm her body.
"Mmmm. Hot chocolate. How did you know that was just what I wanted?" she asked playfully.
"Maybe all the time I've spent in this place has made me psychic." Xander grinned. Buffy reached out and squeezed his hand.
"Or, maybe you just know me so well." At that, silence fell between them again. Buffy took another sip and then offered the Thermos to Xander. He took it back and then took a sip of his own, placing his lips where hers had been only moments before. For reasons she didn't want to admit yet that action sent a shiver down her spine. The silence stretched on and Buffy was starting to feel uncomfortable with it so she switched gears. "How was work today, Xan?" Xander leaned back into the cushions on the couch and closed his eyes as he spoke.
"Well pretty much the same old, same old. Cut some wood, poured some cement, hauled around bricks. We're almost done fixing up the old bank on First Street, oh and I had a meeting at the end of the day. Turns out that the city wants to try their luck at rebuilding good old Sunnydale High again and they wanted to put someone with experience in charge of the job. So as of Monday you're looking at the new head foreman of Sunnydale High School, Phase 3." Buffy could hear the pride in his voice as he spoke and she was so happy for him. She could remember a time when all he would do was talk down about himself after one unsuccessful fast food job after another. Living in abject squalor in his parents' basement with little or no hope of ever getting out. She sighed to herself. She should have been there for him then, but she was too caught up in her own life. That always seemed to be the case when someone needed her. She had tried her best over the last six months to be a better friend and a better sister. She felt the need to show Xander just how proud she was of him so, smiling, she leaned over and gave him a warm hug. She could smell his aftershave and feel the warmth of him as he put his arm around her shoulders in reciprocation and she couldn't think of a single reason to move from where she was so she decided to linger there curling up her legs and laying her head on his chest.
Xander's eyes fluttered momentarily as he felt Buffy cuddle up to him, but they soon closed again as he relaxed and enjoyed the feeling of having her so close. This was not something new for them, or even something all that unusual. Over the last few weeks they had started sharing little touches and embraces. Nothing major, just a little touch on the wrist to get the other's attention, or a soft brush of fingers along the shoulders. It was just another level to their friendship. It was a new type of intimacy, but nothing out of the ordinary. It was nothing that two friends who had known each other as long as they had wouldn't do. They stood closer to each other when they were in the same room. Hugs became gradually longer and glances were shared across crowded rooms. Nothing out of the ordinary there; just regular things that friends did. Best friends, that's all. That is what he kept telling himself.
"I liked the first one better," Buffy said seemingly out of nowhere and it took Xander a moment to realize that she was talking about the high school. "I liked our school better than the one they made the second time." Xander just nodded and made an affirmative noise.
"Have you heard from Willow lately? Or Giles?" he asked. Buffy shook her head and buried her face in his sweater. He stroked her hair gently, understanding how much it really hurt her that they all didn't keep in better touch.
"I haven't heard from either of them in over a month." Her words were muffled by his body, but he understood her. Then she raised her head and he could see the beginnings of unshed tears in her eyes. He wanted to wipe them away, but before he got the chance she spoke again. "Why do you stay?"
She didn't know why she asked the question. To tell the truth she was frightened about what his answer might be. She knew, of course, what the answer she was hoping for was, but what if she was wrong? What if he didn't stay because…- No! She wouldn't think about that. She got up and turned around keeping her back to him. She suddenly felt very small and afraid. For his part Xander was feeling very much like a fish out of water. This was new ground they were treading on now and he wasn't sure how to proceed. He wanted to let Buffy take the lead, but since it looked like she wasn't going to be saying anything more for a while he said the first thing that came to mind.
"Well... I… um..." Buffy turned back and looked at him while he hemmed and hawed.
"Willow's gone. Giles is gone. We don't have nearly the vampire problem we used to and I haven't even seen a demon in over a month. So..." Here she paused and looked into his eyes trying to read something of his thoughts, but finding little. She licked her lips and asked again, "Why do you stay?" Xander's heart was pounding hard in his chest and he felt like he couldn't breathe. This was all too sudden; all too new. He stood up, but made no move toward her. Instead he just shifted his gaze to a clock sitting on the mantle. He needed to make a decision, but he wasn't ready yet. He needed to stall for time. "Well," he started, "I have a good job and after the earthquake and everything experienced construction workers were in demand. And I have a great apartment and I didn't want to give that up. Y'know because it could be... really hard to find a place... that nice again..." He knew that his arguments were weak and getting weaker by the moment, but he didn't want to admit why he had stayed behind. He had almost been ready to leave back then. After he'd buried Anya he went home and started to pack a bag. He picked up a photograph and was about to put it in when he looked at it and stopped. It was a picture of him and Willow and Buffy from their sophomore year. He didn't know how long he had started at that picture, but by the time he looked up night had fallen. He went over to his dresser and looked at all the pictures there. Pictures of his friends, his family. There was Giles, and Oz, Cordelia, Joyce, Dawn, Tara and even one with Jesse. Willow was featured in nearly half of them and Buffy in nearly all. He reached his hand out to touch one picture in particular, but drew it back when he heard a knock on his front door. It had been Buffy carrying a pizza, a bottle of wine and a stack of videos. She sensed that on this night he needed someone to be with him; to comfort him. So they spent the night together, talking, watching movies, laughing and crying. They fell asleep together on the couch. When they woke the next morning Buffy suggested that they go over to her house, get Dawn and go out for breakfast. Xander had agreed on the idea and ran back into his room for only a moment and they were off. He had tossed the bag into his closet and never looked at it again since that morning. He knew why he stayed and he was pretty sure that Buffy did too.
His shoulders slumped in defeat and he turned away from her too. Buffy was waiting for an answer and although he wasn't sure that she was entitled to it he had no choice but to give it to her. He could never deny her anything. He could get mad at her, have knock down drag out fights and question her at every turn, but he could never refuse her what she asked him for. And tonight would be no exception. With his back still to hers he sighed and closed his eyes. "I stay because I want to stay, Buffy." he said calmly. "Because everything I need is here and I don't want anything else, so there's no reason to leave. Because the most important people in my life are here and I couldn't bear to leave them. That's why I stay." After he finished he was greeted with silence and he wasn't sure how she had taken his answer until her felt her wrap her arms around him from behind. She pressed her face into his back and snuggled close tightening her grip as she held him close. Xander turned around and returned the embrace, resting his chin on the top of her head. Sometimes she seemed so small to him and he would have been surprised to learn, also to herself. But here, now in his arms she felt warm and safe and being small wasn't so bad after all.
Buffy had been speechless when she heard his answer. It was from the heart, like everything he did. Hearing him say those things touched a place deep inside her and she had to fight to keep the tears from coming. It was all so sweet and so simple. But she knew that he had skirted the issue and given her the safe, general answers, because that's what they were no matter how sweetly he put them. She wasn't so proud to think that there was only one reason why he stayed, or even that it was the most important reason for his remaining behind, but to her it was an important reason and she wanted to hear it; needed to hear it. He sensed this from her as she raised her head to look up at him. Blue-green eyes met brown and a feeling so powerful passed between them that it had no name. In the back of his mind Xander Harris was still a sixteen-year-old high school sophomore with a fragile ego and an even more fragile heart, but he had grown up and it was the man he was now that decided what he did and how he behaved. Even so he had to summon up all his courage before he could speak again. He gazed down at the small, blonde woman in his arms and his eyes said more than he ever could with words, but still he had to say something. He leaned down so his mouth was at her ear and he whispered so softly that unless she was listening hard she would have missed it. She whispered back into his ear and their hold on each other grew just a little bit tighter. They leaned back and just stared into each others eyes, finally acknowledging what they saw there.
Willow was gone. Giles was gone. Faith and Kennedy were gone. Anya and Joyce lay buried with care to be remembered forever. Spike was gone, as was Riley and Angel grew farther away with each passing year. Dawn was over at a sleepover that weekend. They were together. Buffy and Xander. The lights flickered back to life as the power was returned to a grateful Sunnydale. Xander walked over and flicked the switch off. It was just them; in the darkness. Buffy joined him and they resumed their previous positions. Holding each other and swaying back and forth to a tuneless, timeless melody that only they could hear. And somewhere along the way a kiss was shared. A soft, soulful kiss that spoke of many others to come. And that is the beginning.
Once Upon A Time...
THE END