Because everyone except Allen knows that everyone wants him.
Somehow I get a weird feeling from a lot of people lately, and I'm not sure why.
For instance, Lenalee keeps getting kind of teary and aggressive near me. She actually beat me with a coffee tray the other day, then shook me by the shoulders, yelling "Stop taking so many reckless chances! I don't want you to get hurt!" Then she ran away sobbing, but not before she cried all over my shirt. I really don't understand girls.
Lavi is …well, he's always been a little weird, but for the last few months there's been something a little different about the way he drapes himself over me, licking my neck and sliding his hands underneath my clothes. Recently he's been crawling into bed with me and sort of wrapping around me. I don't mind that much, though, because it gets pretty cold around here in winter and I worry about that asthma he seems to be developing. It sounds pretty bad— every time he snuggles up to me he starts panting like nobody's business.
He's been giving me funny looks, too.
As for Kanda, I don't even know where to start. He's been giving me funny looks as well, but he always does that. No, it's the stuff like him watching me dress, grabbing me in the hallway and biting my neck, and bleeding profusely from the nose when I walk into the room and then screaming things like "No! I don't have any kind of emotional attachment of any kind to him! In fact, I despise him! Oh God!" while mopping up the blood that kinda puts me on edge.
I wonder if there's something any of them want to tell me?
I mean, what is it about me? It's not like they're all in love with me or something, right?
A/N: Excuse me, the maniacal laughter hasn't quite worked itself out of my system yet.
If you are one of my real-life friends, you are probably resigned to my rants over DGM fanfiction and all its darling little idiosyncratic ways. Look at it this way, at least it wasn't an exercise in stereotypes. That comes later.
If you are not one of my real-life friends… you may have come across one of my rants over DGM fanfiction and all its darling little idiosyncratic ways anyway, and quietly tiptoed away before it could bite you. This was a wise course of action. Apparently it didn't get you far enough, though.