Setting: The deck of a ship cut in half by a cannon ball. A big gigantic hurricane is in place. After a nice shot of the outside whilst the credits roll, we are shown to the inside, outside the captain's cabin. The Robinson family is trying to break in for some reason.
Mother: It's wet!
Ernst: Yes. It is. I'm the smart one. Therefore I know that it is wet because we are in the middle of a hurricane and the waves keep washing over the sides of the ship.
Fritz: Shut up.
Father: Yeah.
Francis: Yeah.
Mother: Yeah.
Ernst: No one loves me…
Fritz: Wow. When Thai/Indonesian pirates bomb a ship and drive it through a hurricane, they really bomb a ship and drive it through a hurricane!
Father: That's why we keep you around! For great innovations like that! Good show, old chap!
Ernst: How come when I come up with a brilliant scientific explanation everyone tells me to shut up, but when Fritz says something totally obvious and stupid he's everyone's favorite?
Father: Shut up, you stupid jerk!
Everyone Else: Yeah!
Francis: Wait, Father, how come you have a British accent but no one else does? And how come, if we're from Switzerland, do we all have different accents?
Mother: Shut your mouth! Do you want Walt Disney to come down here and smack the sacrilege from your head?
(Tinkerbell, the character that I in no way own, pops up, waving her wand threateningly.)
Tinkerbell: Yeah, little punk! Bring it!
Francis: Um…never mind. Please don't hurt me…Um…I believe in fairies?
Tinkerbell: That's more like it, punk! (Disappears in a flash of fairy dust)
Mother: Good. Now let's flash forward to tomorrow.
Flash forward to the next day
Mother: It's still wet!
Ernst: Well, I'm rather stumped as to why, because we've sort of been lying in the sun all morning and it's the Indian Ocean, so it's pretty dang warm.
Father: Don't make me beat you, boy!
Fritz: Me too.
Francis: (disappears) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Everyone: OH MY GOD! (Runs to see what happened.)
Francis: I found the aminals! DOGGIE! (Indeed, Francis has found the ship's animals.)
Everyone: We came over for this?
Fritz: Hey! We're near shore.
Father: How ever did I get a son as smart as this? We all love you, Fritz!
(Everyone hugs Fritz. Except Ernst)
Ernst: We should build a raft to get to shore. It's only over there, through the rapids, rocks, and abnormally high waves.
Father: It'd never work.
(Everyone sits in silence and wet for a while.)
Fritz: Let's build a raft!
Father: Genius! This boy's a genius!
(They build a perfectly sea worthy raft, apparently having enough wood, tools, saws, nails, and rope. And they do so in only two-three hours.)
Mother: I don't want to jump from the ship to the raft.
Father: Go on. Water can't hurt you!
Ernst: I'll catch you, Mother!
Mother: I don't like you. Fritz, you're the strong one, you can catch me.
Father: I'd catch you, Mother.
Mother: You're the stupid jerk who wanted to move to New Guinea in the first place. Besides. You never even call me by my first name. No. I like Fritz best.
Fritz: I'll go after you, Mother. I have to stay behind for some reason.
Mother: Oh well. (She swings on a rope and manages to fall in the foot of space between ship and raft.) I'M VERY WET!
Father: You never shut up, do you…
Fritz: I'll help you, Mother! (He does so.)
Francis: DOGGIE! DOGGIES COME! (The ship's dogs, whom he has befriended in the past two hours, want to come too)
Father: The dogs are not coming. We'll sink.
(They cast off) (The dogs follow, doggie paddling against the rapids.)
Mother: Let them in or they'll die!
Father: Okay. (The dogs are let on.) (The raft reaches land.)
Ernst: Yay! We're on land! Let's build shelter!
Mother: Shut your blasphemous mouth! Pray. (The family prays)