Title:
The Day The World Said, "Screw YOU!!!!"
Authors:
Shinigami and Nodachi
Rating:
Probably a PG-13, but it might be pi too
Genre:
HUH???
Summary:
Don't know, just writing this on the spur of the moment
Spoilers:
Wouldn't doubt it Credits: UMMM.......... We'll figure it out sometime after
the computer screens stop spinning
Liono and the others had been in limbo for almost
twenty years since the death of the '80s, and now they were back. As they
prepared the shuttle for reentry, they heard a very audible hissing noise.
"Panthor, Cheetara, this is
neither the time nor place to be doing that, HO!!!" Liono
cried out over the screams of the Thunderkittens.
"Ummmm, is
a spider-like creature gestating into one's mouth so that they can later die a
horrible, disgusting death a good thing?" asked Snarf.
"Not
to my knowledge," Liono answered.
"Snarf, then get me a vacuum cleaner and a scalpal!"
"Snarf, this is neither the time nor place for masturbation,
HO! Besides, we're almost to Earth, HO! And there seems to be a large crowd
gathering."
"Then, !snarf!, at least let me cut out
the alien... and did you just call me a ho?"
"And
what exactly is it the time and place for?" Tigra
asked.
"Its
time to kiss my ass you pussy-footed show stealing bastard, HO! So get into your
seat and restraints before we hit the atmosphere with the force of being thrust
into the almighty, HO! breasts of Britney Spears,
HO!"
"Oh,
that's it, I'm sick and tired of listening to a whiny,
effeminate little feline Santa Claus that can't take the fact that no one likes
him except his butt buddy Snarf."
"That
hurts, !snarf!, I'm
completely, 100%, 20 days and six weeks straight, !snarf!.
Are you coming to bed Liono, I hear they added a
vibrator....oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh..... snarf!!!" "We've got too
much to do, so go away, you're traumatizing the Thunderkittens...I'll
be there in 20 minutes."
"Actually,"
they pipe up as one(due to the fact that both the
authors are so high that remembering their own names is a chore best put off
until tuesday.... so, they shall speak as one being,
one giant, evil being, with a glowing eye, and a ten foot mustache, and.... ok,
ranting be done, we're not high, we're just stupid...) "we've been
traumatized ever since you left Jerry Falwell on the
ship with us. What the hell were you thinking anyway, dumbass?"
"Because, Ed is Ed," answered the weird kid that had joined them a
couple days earlier. "Would someone kick that... thing, out, HO!" "And who's bright idea was it to bring the
dog onboard, too?" asked Cheetara as she began
to reattach the leg that Ein had been chewing on.
"Hey, do you remember that angry little man with hair that made up about a
foot of his height?" Tigra asked.
"Do
you mean the one that destroyed the entire planet that we met him on, HO!"
"Yeah,
numbnuts, that one," he answered.
"You
know, you should never have pissed off that pointy haired angry little man with
the tail," Cheetara said.
"How
was I supposed to know that spraying cyanide gas in his face wouldn't kill him?
HO!" "Anyway, HE NEARLY KILLED US, RAPED CHEETARA, WHO HAD POINTY
HAIRED LITTLE THUNDER... SOMETHINGS RUNNING AROUND, AND WHY THE HELL DO YOU
KEEP SHOUTING 'HO'!!!!!!!???"
"They
have tails," Panthor sobbed as Snarf started shoving his tail down his mouth, "what's
up with that? We're supposed to be cats, and we don't have tails..."
"Yeah,
what IS up with that, and again, WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP SHOUTING
'HO'!!!!!!!???"
"Its because I've been lobotomized, HO!"
"You're
okay with this?"
"Why
shouldn't I be? HO!"
"The
communication between the two hemispheres of your brain have
been cut off, and you're not the least bit worried about it???"
"HO!
The com-whosit between the two
hemi-dingis of my what?"
"We'll
talk later."
WARNING,
COMMUNICATIONS BLACK OUT IMMINENT FOR THE NEXT 2 MINUTES, I REPEAT,
COMMUNICATIONS BLACK OUT WILL OCCUR FOR THE NEXT 2 MINUTES
-
2 minutes later –
COMMUNICATION
WITH EARTH HAS BEEN REESTABLISHED
"That
sure as hell was a great orgy, wasn't it Snarf?
HO!"
Snarf did not reply as he was face down in one of
those kiddy pools filled with sexual lubricants. You know, the ones that you
can buy at K-Mart, Wal-Mart, or local Kwik-e- Mart,
only... minus all the sexual lubricants for one dollar.(If
you are offended by this point in the fan fiction, then we've done our jobs.
However, if you wish to not sue us for all we own{which
is pretty much a 7-11 cup and ten dimebags of New
Coke} then we suggest that you click off now or forever hold your peace. Do
you? Do you? Now I proclaim... Oh, wait, wrong place... Now back to your
regularly scheduled fan fiction ^_^)
"He's
dead you F***ING MORON!!! Or does your lobotomy prevent you from noticing
that?" "WHAT!!! I've had a lobotomy, HO! And why the hell didn't
anyone tell me, HO! about, HO! it,
HO!"
"You're
serious? You just F***ING told us about it five minutes ago."
"I
did? HO! That's cool, that's cool, HO! But why male models?
HO!"
"Let's
just concentrate on kill... destroying that F***ING censor before he bas...
messes up anymore of our dialog."
-
10 minutes later –
"THANK
GOD!!! I CAN FINALLY SAY FUCK AGAIN!!!"(Look kids, this just became rated
R)
"Well,
anyway, HO!! let us go an meet our legions of fans!
HO!!!!" The door slowly opens onto a world that the Thundercats
had left many years before. Smoke, lasers, and spoonfull
of sugar help the medicine go down.
As
the smoke clears, enter
"OH
MY GAWD!!!" shouts
"Pay
up, HO!" Liono says to Tigra.
"Alright,
you've won this round, but the show credits will belong to me!" Tigra answers as he hands him the money.
"Ummm... is he gonna be
alright?" Panthro asks the other geek.
"Oh,
he'll be fine, just give him a few minutes, but, don't go near him for the next
hour or so, or he may get the shakes and begin convulsively vomiting. Besides,
we can't stay in the real world for more than a few minutes without getting melenoma skin cancer from the radiation of that big yellow
ball in the sky..."
"Hey, HO! Where are the others?"
"What
others?"
"The
other fans, we were expecting mass hordes of adoring fans who remembered and
loved and revered us when they were children," Tigra
answered.
"Oh,
well, they have either been killed by jocks, given up hope, or gave up on you
after realizing how absolutely retarded you really are. But we never gave up!
We knew you would return. Now that you have returned, we will be the harbingers
of your coming, the bishops of your new religion. we
are much like you, you are the last of your kind from Thundaria,
as are we the last of our kind..."
The
Thundercats look at each other. "No, we're
nothing like you, we're the last of a species. You're
the last of a race that should have died out long ago. I'll bet nature has even
attempted to kill you several times."
"YEssssss...." Elliot slurs, "however,
we have survived, and now we shall grow in strength, and soon rule the world. NYahhhh... but first! EVERQUEST!!!!"
Elliot releases that typical nerd-like laugh that scares even the heartiest of
warriors.
To
Be Continued…