Commercial

By: Shio and Bliss

Disclaimer:

In union: We do not own Naruto or any of the characters.

Shio: I wish I owned Kisame tho...-perverted evil thoughts-

Bliss: Here's your fanfiction I guess...

Shio: READ IT!

"Gimme your lunch money!" A man yelled tightening his grip on the small frame.

"Gah! Okay, Okay! Fine!" A kid shifted in the man's grip and pulled out money handing it to him.

When the money reached his hand the man dropped the younger one and turned around. "Okay, Itachi…We got…$5.68" he stated.

Itachi smirked. "Good Kisame. So that sums up today's funding to…?"

Kisame reached into his pocket and pulled out paper. "Uh…$50.01" He sighed. "Great…That's about half of what we got last week…"

Itachi turned on his heels away from the blue man, ignoring the sad fact that the money was half of last weeks. "Come on Kisame. We told Sasuke we would go to the hospital with him. Let's go."

Sasuke sat impatiently on the couch. He flipped his position so that he was upside down. He sneered and flipped himself up right again. He grabbed the remote and was about to turn on the TiVo when the doorbell rang. Sasuke jumped up and ran to the door.

"Well it's about time you--" Sasuke froze when he opened the door and let his head drop. "Naruto…"

Naruto smiled and invited himself in. "Oi! I thought I would go to the hospital with you. You know. I haven't been there in a while and really should go. Do you thi--"

Sasuke threw his hand over his mouth. "Shut up, dumb ass." Sasuke removed his hand and let it drop by his side. "We need to--WAIT! Where are you going?"

Naruto was searching through the refrigerator. "I'm hungry. Might as well eat while we wait."

Sasuke sighed and started walking to the kitchen when the doorbell rang, again. He twitched and walked to the door opening it a crack and suddenly…it flew open hitting him in the face.

Itachi was the culprit behind Sasuke's face injury. "Alright! Let's go! We're already late enough!" He turned around and stalked back to his already running car with Kisame still in it.

Naruto tore after him with a mouthful of food. "OFF WE GO!" He ran to Kisame's passenger side of the car, opened the door, unbuckled his seat belt and ripped him out. He leaped into the car shut the door and locked it. "SHOTGUN!"

Kisame growled and kicked the door. "Damn you're annoying…" He opened the door behind Naruto and sat down folding his arms like a little kid.

Sasuke rubbed his face walking out the door. "DAMN IT ITACHI! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE OPENING THE DOOR!" He slid into the seat beside Kisame.

Itachi rolled his eyes and backed out of the drive way. Once parallel with the houses he smirked. "Ready guys?"

Kisame gripped onto his seat belt and looked at Sasuke then the back of Naruto. "I suggest holding on…"

Itachi completely ignored the fact that two of the three passengers weren't secured. He slammed his foot on the pedal and the car sped forward.

Naruto screamed and Sasuke started cussing Itachi out. Kisame just laughed as they struggled to hold on. "Sasuke, have you not actually ridden with your brother before?"

Sasuke glared at him. "NOT WHEN HE'S DRIVING THIS FRIKING FAST!"

Kisame looked over Itachi's shoulder and threw his fist into the air. "90 miles per hour! New record!"

Itachi tapped Kisame's hand and Kisame leaned back into the seat and gripped onto whatever he could. "Five…four…three…two…one."

Itachi slammed on the brake which caused Naruto and Sasuke to fly forward in their seats. Itachi turned off the car and unbuckled his seat belt.

Kisame did the same and glanced at Naruto. "Naruto. I suggest putting your hands out in front of you."

Naruto looked in front of him. "Huh? What? Put my ha--" The air bag flew out and hit him in the face. Naruto flailed his arms around. "Mpmhdmnphmphmh!"

Kisame, Sasuke and Itachi got out of the car and Itachi kicked the car. The air bag deflated immediately and Naruto blinked struggling out of the car. He jumped out of it and hugged the ground. "OH LOVELY LAND! HOW I MISSED YOU SO! NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN!"

Sasuke walked next to Naruto and kicked him in the head. "Okay, dumb ass. Let's go."

Naruto immediately jumped up from the ground and tore towards the hospital. Sasuke ran after him screaming at him to stop running. Kisame stared at them and then sighed. "Go with the flow." Kisame tore after them screaming at both of them to wait up. While Itachi walked calmly through the hospital doors.

Itachi stalked behind the running figures. He walked inside the hospital and to the reception desk. He picked up a pen and wrote down their names. "We're signing in…"

Naruto, Sasuke, and Kisame ran up the stairs and took a right. "Where are we going?" Kisame cocked his head to the side catching up to Naruto.

Naruto smiled. "I don't know!"

Sasuke thought for a moment and then tapped Naruto's shoulder. "1507! Room 1507!"

Naruto nodded his head and took a left running up a flight of stairs. Followed by Kisame and then Sasuke. Itachi slowly stalked behind them.

Naruto looked on the right side of the hallway. "1501, 1503, 1505…1507!" He touched the door lightly. "I win!" He shouted. "Oh ya! Who's awesome?" Kisame walked up behind him. "Actually…Itachi wins."

Naruto looked down and saw Itachi sitting by the door silently. "Aww…How did you get here so fast…?"

Itachi pointed towards the end of the hallway. "Elevator."

Kisame laughed and Naruto drooped his head. As Sasuke came up lastly and he looked at the door. "Hey, you actually found it." He ran his fingers over the cool metal on the door. "Room 1507. Sakura's91" value"Saudra's, Sara's, Skua's, Saguaro's, Sankara's, Saguaros, Samurai's, Sabra's, Sakha's, Sahara's, Samara's, Samurais, Kara's, Kira's, Sakai's, Saki's, Sarah's, Sake's, Sudra's, Sucre's, Skuas, Square's, Squares, Cara's, Kora's, Sari's, Seka's, Zara's, Sacrum's, Saga's, Sera's, Caesura's, Sabras, Secures, Sakes, Saks, Scares, Sacra, Sagas, Saguaro, Saris, Caesuras" / room."

Sasuke lifted his hand away from the metal and opened the door. Naruto slipped inside followed by Itachi, then Kisame, then Sasuke who shut the door behind him.

Sasuke and Naruto walked to the side of the bed while Kisame and Itachi fought to sit down in the only chair in the room.

Sakura looked up from her homework to Sasuke and Naruto. She smiled and held her arms open for a hug. Naruto pretty much tackled Sakura. "Sakura!" He squealed.

Sakura patted his back. "H-hi…Naruto…" She breathed. She put her arms between them. "Please…let go now…"

Sasuke grabbed the back of Naruto's shirt and pulled him off. "So..." he said switching his gaze to Sakura. "How are you?"

Sakura looked at both of them and smiled lightly. "I'm doing good. The doctors said I can go to school tomorrow." She shifted her gaze back to her homework and started writing.

Kisame pushed Itachi, who was attempting to sit either on him or on his shoulder, off of him. "So Sasuke…This is your girl?" He chuckled and looked at Sasuke.

Sasuke blushed and turned his head. "Humph."

Naruto laughed and nudged Sasuke, while Sakura blushed and her writing darkened.

Itachi glared at Kisame and sat on the back of the chair. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a piece of paper and threw it at Sakura. "This is your homework. Sasuke said he was too embarrassed to give it to you."

Sakura caught it and nodded a thank you to Itachi. Opening it, she started writing in it. "I really need to catch up on a lot of homework." She stated her writing speeding up.

Sasuke kneeled down beside the bed and looked at her homework. "Algebra…" He sighed. "I don't…know Algebra…" He confessed.

Sakura looked at him with question. "Then what have you been doing in math all this time?"

"Copying off of you…" Sasuke said trying to make it a joke.

"Oh…Well you know that'll nev--" Sakura was cut off by a phone ring.

Kisame jumped and searched through his pant pockets. "Crap, where did it go…? Where did it go?"

Itachi reached into his own pocket and pulled out his ringing phone and flipped it open. "Hello? M'hm. Now? Really? Yes he is. SPEAK SLOWER TOBI! Okay…Fine. Ten minutes." He flipped it shut and slid off the back of the chair. "Come on Kisame. We have a special thing to take care of. Sasuke and Naruto, you guys will need to walk home."

"But there are bad guys out there…" Naruto whined.

Kisame and Itachi looked at each other and then at Naruto. Naruto inhaled. "OOOOHhhhhhhhh… Riiiigggghhht… I forgot."

Kisame sighed and stood up walking towards the door. "Smart one." He walked out the door and took a right towards the elevator. "See ya, dumb ass."

Itachi followed Kisame. "See ya, angsty kid." He shut the door behind him, leaving the room in a total silence.

"Who was the blue guy?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke stood up from his kneeling position. "Itachi's…boyfriend."

Sakura thought for a second. "Why is he blue?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I think he dyed his skin."

Sakura blinked confused. "How'd he do that?"

Sasuke thought for a moment and then shrugged. "Dunno."

"Oh! Oh!" Naruto jumped up and down. "Maybe…He…He…Um…Used food coloring!"

Sasuke looked at him and rolled his eyes. "Food coloring...? Dumb ass."

Itachi sped down the street towards there school, Random high school. Kisame sighed and rested his hands on the dashboard where the airbag is. "So…What did Tobi say?"

"There's been a fight at the school with Orochimaru's gang again."

"Again? How boring." Kisame reached into the compartment and pulled out a pistol. "How many people?"

"Just two. No Orochimaru." Itachi stated taking a sharp left.

Kisame looked at the gun and removed the magazine. He put it on the dashboard and scratched his head. "Who?"

Itachi thought and recalled the conversation. "I think…the girl with flute and…the guy with the drum sticks."

"Oh…" Kisame gripped onto his seat belt when Itachi slammed on the brakes. "Can you drive any faster?" Kisame sad sarcastically blocking the airbag from hitting his face.

"Yes." Itachi said grabbing the magazine on the dashboard and tossing it to Kisame.

Kisame sneered and put the magazine into the gun. "Smart ass..."

Itachi smirked and walked towards the baseball field on the side of the school. "Whatever. Just have the gun ready."

Kisame stared at his pistol and tightened his grip following Itachi. "Why do we have to do this? Why can't some other gang do it?"

Itachi shook his head. "I don't know. Now shut up." He said stopping behind a wall just behind the baseball field. Itachi reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pocket knife. Flipping out a knife he put it against his thigh. Looking at Kisame he nodded towards the field in a 'Go' signal.

"See ya guys." Sakura said.

"BYE SAKURA!" Naruto screamed.

"Naruto…SHUT UP! YOU ARE LESS THAN A YARD FROM HER!" Sasuke yelled in his ear so he would get the point. He turned his gaze to Sakura. "…See ya." He turned quickly hiding a blush and walked out of the room.

Once Naruto left, Sakura sunk down in the bed. She coughed and rolled on her side. "Bye Sasuke…" She said to herself. "I love you…" She closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

Kisame walked back to the car carrying Itachi. Once at the car he sat down against the cold metal still holding Itachi. "S-shit…" He stuttered, trying to catch his breath. He wiped blood from his face and the out cold Uchiha's. He started shaking recalling the past half-hour.

Flashback

Kisame jumped out of the way of the grey haired man.

"DO!" He screamed.

Kisame jumped out of the way of his drumsticks again and shot at him with his pistol. Amazingly, the grey haired man missed the bullet. Laughing he screamed again. "RE!" And hit his ribs.

Kisame's ribs made a cracking sound and he screamed. Itachi glanced over at Kisame and flinched. He then glared at the red head he was fighting and slashed at her.

The red head held up her flute and blocked the slash. "HA! You missed fucking Uchiha!" She held the flute to her mouth and blew a note. Itachi yelled and held his ears writhing in pain on the ground.

Kisame flinched at the flute but managed to grab the grey haired man and hold his pistol to his head.

"Oh Kisame…" He said. "You aren't going to kill me…are you?"

Kisame sneered. "Shut up Sakon!" He shifted the gun to under Sakon's neck. "What are you doing here!" He demanded.

Sakon smiled. "Orochimaru wants the Uchiha." He jestered to the Uchiha on the ground.

Kisame shifted the gun to Sakon's shoulder and shot. The bullet tore through his skin and he let go of him. Sakon fell on the ground and held his shoulder smiling. "Tayuya…" Sakon said. "We might need to retreat. I can't fight anymore."

Tayuya glared at Sakon and then blew into her flute again. The Uchiha screamed and gripped onto his bleeding ears tighter. Kisame winced and resisted the urge to cover his ears. Tayuya only laughed and then slammed her flute down onto Itachi's head and then his ribs, knocking the Uchiha out. Tayuya smiled and looked at Kisame. She took in a deep breath and blew into her flute.

Kisame grabbed his ears and fell to his knees. He pointed the pistol at Tayuya and pulled the trigger. The bullet hit Tayuya in the leg. She screamed and fell to the ground.

Kisame smiled. "This is my gun…I named him Samehada, shark skin. I use special bullets. The don't just cut through you…they rip you to shreds!" (A/N - Shio: Sorry...sad anime moment for my Kisa-baby.)

Sakon sneered and got up running to Tayuya. He picked her up with his good arm and tossed her over his shoulder. "Orochimaru isn't going to be happy…" He told her running off glaring at the blue skinned man and out cold Uchiha behind him.

End Flashback

Once being able to stand up. He put the Uchiha in the back seat of the car and he sat in the driver's seat. After a couple of minutes he started the car and then froze.

"Damn it! I don't know how to drive!" Kisame screamed to nothing in particular. He rested his head on the wheel and banged it. "Damn it."

Shivering Naruto slowly walked down the sidewalk. "IT'S SO COLD!" He screamed.

Sasuke sighed putting his own hands in his pockets. "I noticed." He glared in front of him. "Damn Itachi…"

"I'll race you back to your house." He challenged.

Sasuke smiled. "You're on."

They both stopped and put there legs out. "One…" They said in union. "Two…Three!"

They tore down the sidewalk as fast as they could. "I'll beat you, you dumb ass!" Sasuke screamed not even looking at Naruto. "Ya right!" Naruto screamed back.

Out of nowhere a hand grabbed Naruto's shoulder and stopped him. The hand shifted to his mouth and pulled Naruto to his form. "Watch out…" The form whispered. "Here I come…"

Naruto struggled and screamed into the man's hand. "Mmm mew mar mer mbd 'uys!"

Sasuke, being totally oblivious to the situation, kept running and took a sharp turn. He tore up his driveway and tagged his house. "I…win…" He gasped. Looking around he stared into the quiet…empty…distance. "Naruto isn't here…" He concluded.

A shadow crept behind Sasuke and laughed. "Muhaha…" Sinking to the ground he grabbed Sasuke's ankles and pulled him to the ground. "Gotcha!"

Sasuke fell to the ground and sighed. "Sasori. Stop."

Sasori grunted and shrugged. "You're no fun." He said standing up and holding out a hand for Sasuke.

"HEEEELP MEEEEEEE!" Naruto ran fast as hell with another blonde chasing after him. "THE BAD GUYS ARE COMING! THE BAD GUYS ARE COMING!" He ran straight past Sasuke and Sasori down the street.

The blonde ran after him screaming. "HEY! GET BACK HERE, UN!"

Sasuke stared blankly and Sasori shook his head. "Oh god, Dei." Sasori rubbed his temples and sighed.

Deidara ran faster attempting to catch up to Naruto. "NARUTO! STOP!"

"NO! THE FAN GIRLS!" Naruto screamed running faster.

"I'm not a girl, un!" Deidara screeched very girly like.

"…Does Naruto even have fan girls?" Sasori asked watching both of them chasing each other in a circle.

"I don't think so…" Sasuke sighed watching the two blondes chase one another.

Durring that one 'suspenseful' moment... ... ...a car came screeching down the street.

"HOW DO YOU MAKE THIS THING STOP!" Kisame could be hear screeching.

Sasori stood there and his eyes followed the car. "...Was that...Kisame?"

Sasuke looked down the street. "I believe so..."

Sasori sighed and tore down the street after the car. "KISAME! COME BACK!"

Sasuke continued to watch the blondes, who almost got squished by Kisame's 'lovely' driving, chase each other. "Wait...Isn't my Brother in the car?" Sasuke stared into space and then grabbed his skateboard. "KISAME! STOP!" He screeched jumping on his skateboard.

End Flashback we never even told you about.

"And that is why...Kisame doesn't have his driver's license." Itachi nodded sitting in the lobby of the police station, still cut up from the fight that was less than an hour ago.

Sasori, Deidara, Naruto and Sasuke nodded also. "Ahh..." They said in union. "Got'cha."(Except for Sasuke...Who went 'Hmph') They all looked back behind them seeing Kisame nodding to the police officer, scolding him.

Itachi stood up from his seat and put the fine money on the counter. He grabbed Kisame's hand and started towards the door. "Let's go."

Shio: -spins in circles- YAY FOR MY KISA-BABY! -chants- Yaoi! Yaoi! Yaoi! Yaoi!

Bliss: ...-chants lightly- Straight! Straight! Straight! Straight!

Shio: I don't know why I'm your friend. You...yaoi un-lover!

Bliss: I don't personally feel for men going on men...

Shio: -pouts- Anywayz...Please review