...when I was young I knew everything...

Castiel was lying awake in his bed, trying to ignore his roommate and his roommate's girlfriend. Sarah slept over regularly, and although they waited until Castiel fell asleep, he couldn't help hearing them having sex late at night every now and then. Brandon was groaning at regular intervals now, so Castiel knew he was close. He wish he had a pair of noise canceling headphones.

Finally, they were done. Castiel noted that he was semi-erect. He hadn't been with anyone except Dean, and that was months ago.

Dean, he thought. So it had been a freak occurrence on prom night. There had been plenty of alcohol involved, and Castiel was sure that Dean considered himself to be straight. Castiel wasn't sure about his own orientation. After all, he hadn't really been interested until he met Dean.

Castiel couldn't help thinking about that night every time Dean crept into his thoughts. He often recalled it when he was jerking off. And then inevitably, he would think about the day after, even though it was a difficult memory.

...

The morning after prom had been painfully awkward. After reading Dean's note, Castiel had gotten dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen. Dean's mom had greeted him and offered him breakfast. He ate his bacon and eggs quickly, thanked her and then excused himself. On his way out, wearing his rumpled t-shirt and suit pants, he bumped into Dean coming home from returning the tux. Dean was looking carelessly handsome in worn out jeans and a RSHS shirt. He had a blue baseball cap pulled down low on his head.

"Oh, hey man," Dean said, giving Castiel a small smile.

"Hi Dean," Castiel blushed. He tried to catch Dean's eye but Dean wouldn't look directly at him.

"Thanks for the ride home, last night." Dean said. He was rubbing the back of his head and looking anywhere but at Castiel's face.

"Yeah, it was no problem. Thanks for letting me crash here." Castiel was confused and hurt. He wished Dean would look at him.

"Yeah. No biggie. See you around." Dean pushed past Castiel into his house.

Castiel called after him, "Bye Dean."

But the door was already closed.

-

The weeks to graduation flew by, and Dean and Castiel didn't have anymore window chats. Castiel felt heartbroken, but he soldiered on. At least he had his memories of that night. He revisited them much too often, and moped around. When he saw Dean around school or the neighborhood, Dean would always say hello, but beyond that, they didn't speak. Dean always seemed to be in a hurry and wouldn't look directly at Castiel. It was torture. Castiel couldn't wait until it was time to leave for college at the end of the summer.

Then graduation was upon them. Castiel watched Dean cross the stage and receive his diploma. There was a great roar of applause for him, even though the teachers and staff had asked for quiet during the ceremony. Castiel turned his folder containing his diploma over and over in his hands, wondering if he'd ever talk to Dean again.

Later, there was going to be a big party at one of the senior's houses. Even Castiel had been invited. That is, if being invited meant sitting in the cafeteria when the guy had shouted that everyone was invited to his graduation party. It didn't matter, since Castiel wasn't going.

He found his parents after the end of the ceremony. They took pictures of him and his friends, posing in their gowns and holding their diplomas. His mom noticed Dean nearby and congratulated him.

"Thanks, Mrs. Novak." Dean said. He was about to move on, but Castiel's mom put a hand on his arm.

"Dean, would you like to take a picture with Castiel?"

Dean paused awkwardly. He couldn't think of an excuse so he agreed. Castiel felt mortified.

"Ok, stand together, boys!" Mrs. Novak told them. Dean nodded to Castiel and they stood, with a full foot of space between them.

"Closer, Castiel!" His mom urged, and Castiel took a step closer to Dean, making sure they weren't touching. Dean seemed so stiff, his body all tense beside Castiel's.

"Cheese!" Mrs. Novak said, and snapped the picture. "Thanks Dean!"

Dean mentioned having to meet up with his parents, and hurried away. Castiel watched his retreating back. His mom put an arm around him and gave him a squeeze.

"We're so proud of you, honey! Now where's your father? We're going out to celebrate our graduate tonight! Do you have any friends you'd like to invite?" Mrs. Novak beamed at Castiel.

"No." Castiel answered, still watching Dean from afar.

...

Castiel had brought the graduation picture to college with him. They both wore forced smiles on their faces, dark blue graduation gowns and hats, clutching their diplomas. Even with the fake smile adhered to his features, Dean was handsome. The edges of the photo were worn from handling. Castiel couldn't bring himself to tack it on his wall though. He didn't want anyone asking him who Dean was.

Castiel heard Brandon's snores and Sarah's deep breathing. They had fallen asleep. Castiel glanced at his bedside clock. 3:03AM. He turned toward the wall and tried to get back to sleep. He had an 8 AM chemistry lecture later that morning.