Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! I also don't own the song 'When I look in your eyes', Diana Krall owns it.
A/N: Hey guys! Welcome to my very first Yaoi fic! I never wrote one before, so please don't be so harsh, lol. The pairing is my favorite, BakuraxRyou. So, I hope you guys will give this a chance! Anyways, enjoy!
When I Look In Your Eyes
By: xx Jessica Malfoy xx
It's not my fault.
None whatsoever. I blame everything on the petty thing you call emotions. Gods do I hate them. They are simply a weakness, one that blinds you from the truth and reality. I've spent all my life emotion free, and I enjoyed it.
That is, until now.
Well, perhaps weeks ago. Of course it's been on my mind for days on end. Though try as I might to push them aside, they simply return. Infuriating! I, Bakura do not let such things as emotion take over me. I am my own man. I chose what I want, and I don't want this dammed emotions!
If only it were that easy.
But, of course it's not.
So here I am, stuck with these emotions. . . towards him. I don't know why I chose to have any feeling towards the boy. For the most part, I hated him. He was everything I wasn't. He was my total opposite. He had everything I hated in a human being, and by him being my lighter half, only grew more hatred against him.
My lighter half, a pathetic little weakling.
What? Damn embarrassing. It just made me hate him. Everything he did, everything he said. It didn't matter if I put him down constantly, or yelled at him, he took it, pathetically of course, but he took it nonetheless. Yet even after, he still remained his caring ways towards me.
I don't know what pisses me off more. Having petty emotions, or Ryou being his sweet self towards me after I put him through hell.
Hmm, perhaps I've lost my touch.
Damn emotions!
But even so, it came, and now, I have some sort of feeling towards him. I don't know how it really came, but it came. It's just something he has. . . I don't know, and it just draws me in. Of course, Ryou doesn't notice or know. Hell would freeze over before he knew.
When I look in your eyes, I see the wisdom of the world in your eyes
I see the sadness of a thousand goodbyesWhen I look in your eyes
I don't really listen when he speaks. Partly, because I don't care about how his day went, or what he learned. Whatever he learned, I know already, and it's just tiresome to hear it over. But, I sit there, and I put on a bored look, and I watch him.
I stare into those eyes.
I don't know how I missed it before, or how I couldn't have seen it early, but his eyes hold a lot more then I thought they did. It's odd how each day; they're a little different, holding something new. I don't even need to listen to his day or what he learned, it shows clearly in his eyes.
When he's happy, sad, angry, his eyes change slightly. I know what he's about to feel before he does. It's amusing sometimes though, watching his frustration as he tries to finish up his work.
But that's beside the point. The point is, no matter how hard I try to avoid them, I can't. I can't help but look into them. Sounds stupid, I know. But I can't completely explain it like I said.
Damn this! Damn everything! I bet Ryou is doing this purposely. That little shit, he'll pay when he gets home from school today.
Which is soon.
Excellent.
I no longer blame emotions – no. I blame my little weakling of a half. If it weren't for him, then I wouldn't feel the way I felt, and everything would be fine like it always had. He made the emotions come. By the way he acts, talks, cares, and. . .
Those fucking eyes!
What the hell is wrong with me? Have I lost it? I hate everything about him. He pisses me off so easily. I fight with myself everyday. Everyday, I fight with myself on how I feel with him, then I promise to make him pay, he comes home, and minutes later, I don't want to beat the little idiot.
Where the hell does all my anger go?
And it is no surprise, to see the softness of the moon in your eyes
The gentle sparkle of the stars in your eyes
When I look in your eyes
He's finally home.
I will make him pay.
"Hello Bakura."I need to keep my anger. I will not let it go. He needs to pay. I'll simply close my eyes. Then, he can't do whatever he does.
"Ryou."I don't even need to see him to know he's coming close to where I am. I don't even need to see him to know he's smiling gently.
That Bastard.
"How was your day?"I will stay angry. I will make him pay for making me feel the way I do. I will stay angry! I won't let him win. . . again. Like he always somehow does.
"Boring."
"You should really think about coming to school. It's never boring at all, plus you get to-""I'm not going to fucking school."
Good, the anger has stayed within me.
"Bakura, why are your eyes closed?"I honestly don't know what the hell to say. I hadn't thought that through. My, he is a sneaky little one, isn't he? I bet he planned this all out. I'd bet he's enjoying my suffering.
"Bakura?"I fucking opened my eyes!
"Will you stop with your questions?""I was simply wondering."
See that? Why must he be so nice after I was rude? It doesn't make sense. It's illogical. Why the hell must he be like that?
"Well stop wondering."
"Okay Bakura."
There it is, I see it as clear as day, his eyes changed. Once curious, know showed hurt. I caused that. I know I did, and unfortunately, something has come over me. Something new. Ah yes, I know what it is. Or I think I do.
Guilt.
I can tell you right now, I don't like this feeling. It's made me do what I'm about to do. I swear, if I ever met the man that came up with guilt, I'll kill him slowly and painfully.
"Ryou."
"Yes Bakura?"
I don't know why I said his name really; it was guilt's fault. But I had, and I knew I had to say something.
"I kept my eyes closed because I didn't feel like seeing your damn face."
See that, that's something else that came over me, speaking the truth. I never felt the need to tell him the truth. I always lied to him. What the hell was so different now? Why was everything happening now?
"Why?"I hate that word. I really do.
"Because I can't look in your eyes."
"Why not?"
"Because they draw me in you little shit."
There, it's out. He knows, I'm embarrassed, and hell is now freezing over. Shock is all over his face, and of course in his damn eyes. I had expected it. I mean, who wouldn't? But, I hadn't expected. . . happiness?
In your eyes, I see the deepness of the sea
I see the deepness of the love
The love I feel you feel for me
Why the fuck is he happy?
"Is that a bad thing, or a good thing?"I wish I knew that answer, but I don't. I suppose I'll try to lie.
"Bad thing."
"Oh.
"Because. . . I can't stop looking afterwards."
I hate myself right now. I had almost made it through with the lie. Why the hell did I have to add to it? Why the hell did I have to- why the hell is he smiling at me like that? What is up that boy's sleeve?
"Me too Bakura. . ."
Well then, I didn't see that coming.
"Oh."
I must have sounded like little fucking idiot.
Gods, the tables have turned.
I'm him, and he is I.
"I didn't want to say because. . . I thought you would get angry."
Confusing as to how the tables have turned? Let me explain briefly. He is now the one in total control. I'm the vulnerable one. Damn this all. I hate losing the upper hand.
"I see."
"But it's different now, because you feel the same."
Odd, I no longer feel like talking, or looking into those eyes. I have the sudden urge to want to touch him.
Excellent.
Now I'll be the one in control.
Easily, I walked over to him; I stood closely beside him, as he looked up at me, his eyes filled with wonder. We stood like that for a few moments, before I had pulled him into a deep kiss, my lips devouring his quickly.
I enjoyed that first kiss.
I think he did too.
Seeing as his arms and wrapped around my neck and pulled me closer. Perhaps he is a bit more like me, that little act of aggression.
I liked it.
I pulled away finally, not that I wanted to, but we both needed air. Our breaths were quick and short, as we both tried to regain our breath.
Autumn comes, summer dies
I see the passing of the years in your eyes
And if we part there will be no tears no goodbyes
I'll just look into your eyes
I don't care anymore.
I don't give a shit what you think of me. I'll be with him till the end of time. I refuse to let him go. Though we are opposite, he completes me, as I complete him.
We need each other.
Without the other, we would never feel whole.
He knows it, and I know it, and now you know it.
There's nothing left to say on the matter.
I just wish I had realized it sooner.
Those eyes, so wise
So warm, so real
How I love the world, your eyes reveal. . .
So there you have it! My first Yaoi. I know there wasn't much action. But I think it was cute nonetheless. Poor Bakura so confused an angry. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please review and tell me what you think!! Muchly appreciated, =)
