Poland's Day with Ludwig

Characters: Ludwig; Germany, Feliks; Poland Italy; Italia

Its 8:00 AM, Ludwig has just woken to a happily prancing Poland.

"OH HEY LUDDY!"

Ludwig was already peeved now, and he had been awake for three seconds. Ludwig sighed.

"Luddy, I bought a new coffee mug!"

Ludwig sat there and wondered why for a full five seconds until he asked.

"Well, Poland, why did you buy a new coffee mug?"

"Because like, it was like, PINK!"

Of course, anything pink resided in Poland's house. He loved pink more than Victor, the owner of Victoria's secret. Ludwig slowly got up from his bed, wondering to himself why Poland was even in his house. He wanted to take over Poland, yes. But Prussia was already controlling all of Poland's vital regions. Did Poland even have vital regions? Ludwig wondered, if Poland did, but quickly stopped. He stopped because it was creepy to think about Poland having a huge gap between his legs. Poland probably has nothing, but a single measly blond hair. It was so perverted of Ludwig that he stopped from fear of becoming like Francis.

"Poland…"

"That's Polly to you"

"Uhm… Polly, you need to man up. Be tougher. Toss all the pink crap and get a manly color. Like red!"

"But like, Pink is my color. I love pink. Just yesterday I bought a thong in the prettiest pink color! They're so comfortable too! Minus the wedgie…"

Ludwig was now just in too much shock to talk. He had crossed the line from being a flamboyantly gay boy to a transvestite in the matter of two seconds. What was wrong with this kid?

"Since when is a thong comfortable, Poland?"

"Since like, always! It's just so soft on my-"

"OK POLAND STOP THERE."

Ludwig just felt awkward now. There was a tiny bead of sweat slowly dripping down his face. This person was not normal, his hair and every feature of him (or her?) was just so atypical. He wanted to ask Poland why he was like this. But then he figured Poland would say he was just like most Poles, dancers. Like Miley Cyrus, he thought. Ludwig was not accustomed to Polish culture, so he figured Poles to be like the actual thing, and he pictured Miley Cyrus, because Alfred had shown him a video of her naughtily dancing on a pole. What strange customs!

It is now 2:00 P.M.

"Doitsuuuuuuuu~!"

Ludwig cringed. He knew it was Italia. Ludwig didn't think he could face Italia right now, especially with Poland sitting on his foot.

"Ludwig, there is something strange looking in your hood."

Ludwig was honestly scared to see what was in his hood. He gingerly put his hand back, and felt something moist.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" He screamed with EMPHASIS.

"Well, like, Ludwig, I like stuck my thong in your hood, 'cause it was like bothering my ass."

Ludwig took it out and stared. There it was, a bright pink thong, smothered with white liquid.

"So…" Ludwig thought to himself, "He really does have man parts." Then, he fainted from shock, confusion, and question of his gender.

8:00 P.M.

Ludwig finally woke up. He was looking around curiously. Italy was holding a red thong in his hand. He was trying to sling it around the room.

"Ludwig! You're awake! Would you like something to eat or drink?"

"Let me guess, Italia, there's pasta and wine."

"Well, like the pasta is delicious! But I don't like the drink so much, it's like bitter."

"Doitsu, I brought you plain pasta with sauce, and a case of beer."

"You brought me beer? Italia, don't you hate beer? I mean, thank you but, this is a big step for you."

Ludwig was back in his bed. It seems he had stayed in his house the whole day. He had planned to visit Italia's house today, but since he was already here, it didn't matter anymore.

"Oh, like Ludwig, I have like a little gift for you~!"

"What is it, Poland?"

"It's a light blue thong! And it's dry!"

Ludwig feels he had failed at his life at this point, threw Poland out of his house, and went to bed, hoping for a better day, tomorrow.