Hark! My Grandpa Herald Sings!
Disclaimer: None of the persons, things, medications, or otherwise anything in this parody that is copyrighted or owned is not mine and I make no claim to it.
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Hark! my Grandpa Herald sings,
"I need dentures and itch creme,
Quit running around acting wild,
And shut your mouth you problem child!
Male pattern baldness begins to arise,
Using Rogaine would have been wise."
Here him egotistically proclaim,
"I could still kick ass any day!"
Hark! my Grandpa Herald sings,
"Heh, shouldn't have had all those beans."
When Brittany Spears appears on TV,
Cries he, "Is that a stripper I see!?
Change the channel you little brat!
You really shouldn't be watching that!"
Dressed in plaid, he's yet to budge,
And I just want to scream, "Oh fudge!"
Pleased to sit upon his rear,
And do nothing but drink his beer,
Hear my Grandpa Herald sing,
"I'm gonna be here until spring!"
Hail! He actually gives me a gift,
Hail! It's a piece of pocket lint,
An empty 'fridge to all he brings,
Only to leave the tiniest things,
Mommy tells me he'll come 'round by and by,
But I say, "Not till he's sober and dry!"
I think I know why Grandma 'died,'
She couldn't stand his oversized pride,
Hear my Grandpa Herald sing,
"I swear I'm the golly darn bloody king!!!"