Disclaimer: No,
we don't own Inuyasha. (bleh.. XD)
A/N: celinae
wrote most of this chapter, because LUXFERFORGOT TO RESPOND TO HER EMAILS, THAT BAKA! XD XD So, if it's crazy, you can blame it on her. (She did
make up most of the overall plot, anyway… XD)
This story is rated for curses and for blatant insanity. XD
Religious Demons
By celinae and Luxfer
Chapter One: Idiot in White
Inuyasha took in a deep breath, then pushed it out as he bent forward at the waist. Then he recited the prayer, the words flowing out his mouth with breathy devotion. Bowing again, he touched his head to the ground reverently, and when the prayer finally ended he sat back with a contented sigh.
'You would think that it would be impossible to wake up early, but when you do the Fajr Salut, it's so much easier...' thought Inuyasha, adjusting his turban, his starry eyes gazing at the ceiling of the mosque.
Sighing again, Inuyasha drooped his head back down, slowly. But at that moment, his acute ears picked up a crowd of yelling people (I hope they're happy, thought Inuyasha) from a cool wind. Standing up, he held his arms and put his hands into the adjacent robe of cloth. Walking calmly toward the doors of the temple, he heard something. Something that made him shiver...
"Pope Miroku is here!"
Oh, brother...
"That idiot-pervert... seriously, to think that he decided to do his idiotic annual Mosque visit now," Inuyasha muttered to himself, going out of the mosque and climbing down the steps, to where a flurry of reporters and spectators crowded around an idiotically grinning idiot clad in white, and one of the local Suni leaders.
"He has that idiotic top-hat, too," Inuyasha noted, with a touch of disdain in his voice.
"Inuyasha! Still talking to yourself, I see!" Inuyasha blinked as Miroku glomped him.
How the hell... did he get here so fast... and—"WHAT THE HELL!"
"HOMO-PERVERT-IDIOT-MONK!" screeched Inuyasha, practically throwing Miroku away from him, his hands automatically slapping Miroku's cheek as the Pope crashed for the ground.
And then, a silence echoed throughout the entire crowd, as everyone stared at the crumpled up figure of Miroku.
"Jesus, Inuyasha, you hit so hard! I had nearly forgotten!" piped Miroku's pain-filled voice somewhere beneath the tangle of awkwardly-bent limbs.
Inuyasha cringed, glancing nervously side-to-side as he noticed that the crowd surrounding Miroku was starting to inch towards him, each person with glinting, scary eyes that promised pain, and more pain, and some more (on top of the rest) pain…
"Screw Allah," Inuyasha muttered, limping off into a run, his white turban unraveling behind him as a crowd of people chasing him, suddenly carrying pitchforks and burning torches and buckets of simmering tar.
His heart was beating erratically, his leg was stiff, he had sharp pains in his shins and side, but at every angry chant Inuyasha tried to run faster, even attempting to jump onto the rooftops (but failing when his robe caught on a lamppost). He turned a corner, skidding on the gravel, and suddenly found himself in front of the mosque again.
Shit, shit, shit, SHIT SHIT SHIT, Inuyasha chanted, his eyes wide with fright as he carefully backed away from some of the crowd that had stayed on the steps and now was advancing towards him, and suddenly crashed into something soft and warm, that smelled like vanilla and jasmine—
"Um, God is evil, since he kills babies?" Kagome squeaked, her voice high and grating to Inuyasha's sensitive ears. Shaking, she held out a flyer covered angry red scribbles to him, while he spouted a river of unsanitary words describing Allah, for putting him in such an ICKY situation.
A/N: More insanity next chapter! (Since celinae will annoy Luxfer about writing it till he starts screaming "bloody murder," and will beat him at their challenges until he finally cracks XD)